I am sick and tired of this.

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I am so incredibly infuriated with myself being one day very confident and positive and the next being a hopeless feeling, depressive mess. I can't stand it. Nothing about my personality or how I act changes, just my outlook. I like feeling positive, that's just great. But when I get in a state of hopelessness (irrational hopelessness btw) it really interferes with my life. When I'm like that I get so paranoid about everything and feel like I'm a worthless piece of nothing. When this happens I keep thinking things are happening that could never happen. Like my best friend may be talking with my gf romantically behind my back when I know good and well he has no interest in her and she get's upset at the mere thought of liking someone else. I really bother people when I'm like this as I start making absurd accusations, only later to realize I was a complete fool and make a larger idiot out of myself by profusely apologizing. I hate this, I hate it so much. When I'm in a positive attitude everything always goes right, I can solve problems, and have a great time. Then all of a sudden I switch over and I make a bunch of messes that I need to clean up. Dose anyone else have this problem?

I have the same problem. I go from cheery, happy, optimistic and positive to utterly depressed, confused, paranoid, hopeless, etc. Whenever I'm in the negative mood I always fear my boyfriend will leave me for some other woman, go back to some of his past loves. He won't I know that. I'm not as unattractive as I tend to believe. But seeing as he's so darn handsome makes it even harder for me. Young AND handsome. ;__;
Whenever I'm positive and cheery I feel like I can conquer the world, I'm handsome and sexy, I can be social and I find myself interesting and important.

These mood swings or what have you are terribly tiring. ): And it's not easy for my surroundings to cope with.
I just don't know how to make it all better.

Double post. Sorry.

I'm almost 27 and still deal with the feeling that almost everybody sees me as some kind of stupid and generally unwanted freak. Maybe you should try some therapy, I know I need to go back to mine.

Oh yeah. I do that. I have this side of me, like my Id right... that goes around and breaks stuff, ruins relationships, messes everything up over stupid, irrational thoughts. It's like I set off a bomb in my life. Then superego me rushes in with a broom to sweep up the mess and try to fix things. I always want to be calm and okay but I cannot seem to stay calm and okay and I eventually get all jacked in the head and blow stuff up again. A very self defeating and counterproductive cycle. I hate it too. I am in a down phase now and trying to pull out of it. I hate myself for being a drain and a worthless piece of crap who cannot seem to do anything and then I feel guilty for feeling like crap and being a bigger pain to everyone on top of the normal pain I am. I think my husband should leave me, my kids should be with their dad, my parents should disown me, I pity my friends and family for knowing me. I have this notion in my head that everyone leaves eventually anyway and I am just waiting for them to really go for good. But in another two weeks I know I will be fine and feel like an ass for being such an ass. Something will break and make me stop acting like this, I'll pick up the pieces and embrace the calm and love it while it lasts. I will feel the earth move under my feet, understand that the only way to be okay is to forget the self and be one with my environment and move with the changes and it is this almost this... I don't want to call it a zen like quality, but I understand my place and that I am small and there is this encompassing security and serenity in the small things like feeling the grass under my toes and I love that place. I want to stay in that place. It kills me every time I leave it. It's like some additional slap in the face on top of the intrusive thoughts. It's not fun. Sorry you have to deal with things like that. I hope your hopelessness phase passes quickly.

"Like the rain gives to shine... this pain will pass away..."

Only for the past half-century or so, and I do not know any way to completely resolve it. For the most part, I have simply "disengaged" from most of whatever "everybody else" seems to be doing, and I seldom speak at all unless some good reason comes along.

Hehe... I'm actually in a positive mood right now just coming out of a negative one. I just came back and realized all the crap I caused while in my bad state and got really pissed.

I do that as well. I can go from being happy and positive to angry, depressed, and lashing out in a heartbeat. It actually feels, to me at least, like I've got two personalities.