Does this happen to anyone at work?

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Every time I come back from vacation, Jonathan has the nerve to bother me. The man is much older than me and is an NT. He had to nerve to tell me over the spring how maybe my company should find someone else who doesn't have aspergers. I am a federal government contractor. I don't know why he bothers me whenever I come back from vacation. How do you hurt these bigots back? What do I do? Should I say something?

Last edited by luvsterriers on 15 Oct 2010, 11:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

I wouldn't bother "hurting them back" - a better goal might be to put a plan into place so that you are comfortable working without attacks (such as "maybe your company should hire someone without Aspergers."

To start - if this individual makes a comment which is uncomfortable to you, try saying, "I am uncomfortable with your comments - I need you to stop" If you makes specific comments about your gender, faith, ethnicity, race or disability (i.e. Aspergers) - carefully document exactly what he said and file an incident report or report it, in writing, to your supervisor.

PS - in your complaint - don't mention his age, his marital status or stuff like that. Keep to the issues at hand. If you make negative comments about his age, marital status, etc - then you could also get into trouble.

Keep to the facts and don't engage with him when he is making uncomfortable comments.

I'll give you some more words to show him that you are not engaging,

"I would like to keep our discussions based on work - not our different personalities"

"When you say, that my "company should hire someone who doesn't have aspergers" I feel very uncomfortable. Making comments about my disability is unacceptable. These comments need to stop now."

"I am not going to engage with you when you make comments like this" (Then walk away or go back to whatever you are working on and, well - don't engage with him).

The importation thing is to keep to the facts Don't speculate as to his motivations (ASD or NT - no one is a mind reader).

I hope that this helps.

Document, Document, Document.

I know it's a pain, but document everything that has been said and when it was said. When you have enough documentation go to Human Resources and file a complaint. I'm sure if you work for the government there is some kind of employee relations department or someone you can talk to in confidence that can guide you and investigate. You have the right to work in an environment that is not hostile and a right to be treated as everyone else. Apparently this guy is not only discriminating against a person who falls under the americans with disability act, but also is creating a hostile work environment for you. He is breaking 2 laws. Hold him accountable.

Good Luck!

Report the bastard, if it don't work then sue the bigot for discrimination.

The man who is bothering me is a federal government employee. I don't work with federal government. I'm a contractor.

Last edited by luvsterriers on 15 Oct 2010, 11:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

If he doesn't work for your company, try and complain to his manager, since I assume your company does business with his. If that dosen't work, just confront him about it and tell him to stop. Make it clear that if he continues, you will take legal action, and prepare to do so if he won't listen. That's the only way to sort some of these f**kers out.

If he works for the federal government, there will be a written policy in place about discrimination and harassment in the workplace. This policy will apply to his fellow co-workers AND with contractual workers with which he does business.

Still report the situation to your own HR in your own company.

BTW - I noted that he mentioned his age again and also, in your last post, mentioned his religion. STOP DOING THIS. Keep to the issues at hand. If approached this at HR by making comments about his being Christian and should behave better - you will also be cited regarding harassment policies or be told that these comments are inappropriate. It will deflect from your real concerns - which is the person's behaviour. Keep your focus on his behaviour - not his gender, age, marital status, size/shape, religion, race/ethnicity, etc.

DUh I'm not a idiot to state to HR or someone high up about Jonathan's religion. How stupid do you think I am??? I'm just stating it here, but I would never state his age or religious beliefs to anyone. Forget I ever said anything. GEEZZZ.

Hey, I was just saying - YOU MENTIONED THESE THINGS SEVERAL TIMES IN YOUR POST. When someone mentions things several times - it indicates that they may have issues with it. If this doesn't apply to you and you are aware of these issues - fine.

No need to get upset about it.

Before you go to HR, I think you should identify specifically what it is that you're going to complain about. I don't think it's against the law to be a bigot. Or to tell you that the company should be allow to discriminate against you. Or to "bother" you.

Any emails where he sounds harsh or rude to me I have kept. I have told dad and my uncle about this behavior. No one on dad's or mom's side of the family have aspergers or learning disabilities. I found out I had aspergers 2 years ago and so I'm still learning more about it. Autism Speaks has a office few blocks from where I work. I did contact my psychologist who diagnosed me with aspergers and told him what is going on and asked for questions. I also contacted a Learning Disability group near where I live. If I tell him how hurtful I am by his attitude towards me I may act like a little girl or cry. It may not turn out too well. But if I simply ignore everything that he has done to me then it doesn't help either. I'm old enough to handle the situation alone, but when you have disabilities and don't know how to tell someone correctly and professionally what else can I do but ask someone else for advise.

I don't know who the HR is for the federal government side and his boss is buddies with him. I can only go to my own supervisor within the company I work for.

If he is doing this to you he is probably doing this to others as well. You can also add that you are not only advocating for your rights, but the rights of others he may also be harassing. Focus on his behavior and not how you feel about it. That may help you hold it together.

People are mean.

Maybe he is. But the group I work was there are only 12 of us. I'm the only one who is the loner with no social life. I rather be alone than be made fun of. I avoid all work parties because it's too loud and annoying. I call out sick whenever there is those stupid work parties. But the others in this small group don't have aspergers at all. They can communicate well and handle certain situations. Off subject, but about teasing. I have a cousin who is 11 years old and she's slightly overweight. Kids do poke fun at her because of her weight but it doesn't bother her. She is so smart. So her brains are in her favor. She doesn't have LD or aspergers so she can handle kids making fun of her. I just think if I didn't have a LD or aspergers and people made fun of me I wouldn't be nearly as hurt.