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lotusblossom
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15 Oct 2010, 8:47 am

Often when I interact with people they often say "aww bless" at things I say. I find it patronising and infuriating. I am guessing its some sort of social admonishment for being 'too honest' or 'too niaeve'. It makes me feel embarrassed for having said the 'wrong' thing or having made a faux pas, it makes me feel different and stupid.

anyone else have people react to them like this?

anyone found a way of not saying things which induce exclamations of "aww bless"??



RightGalaxy
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15 Oct 2010, 8:59 am

That's very condescending. But do you live in an area where "aww bless" is a frequently used phrase. I have an aspie Italian friend who gets really mad at the phrase "aww, what a picod!"
It's a sort of Ital/English phrase meaning "what a shame". Some people feel that they must utter words while you speak instead of just shutting up and listening. Maybe that's how the "aww bless" is being used. ??? Idunno. Are you bearing your soul to church-goers?
I'm biracial (Black/white) and a lot of my black relatives say "damn girl" after every third syllable I say. It really goes up my hole.



Tomasu
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15 Oct 2010, 9:25 am

^^Greetings lotusblossum. I believe often happy humans do state this phrase when they are perhaps speaking with me or hear me speaking with another human.


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15 Oct 2010, 11:00 am

It can be annoying, but I think it's just a social interjection. awww bless = I feel for you and am paying attention, but don't know what to say.
I don't think it's meant condescendingly at all. It's just something NTs say when they feel socially awkward themselves.



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15 Oct 2010, 11:27 am

It depends on how people are saying it.

I grew up in the American south where people will say "bless her heart" or "bless your heart" or even "bless your little heart" and they're all condescending. It will come out like, "She's living on welfare because she had four babies by three different men, none of whom stuck around, bless her heart." Or "you really are particular about your food, bless your little heart." It's a way to sound socially acceptable but "everyone knows" what it really is for is to shame someone else in some way.

So look at the context in which people use it and, if you are able to pick up and interpret it, listen to the tone of voice they use when they say it. Also pay attention to how and when it's said to or about other people because it may be more obvious when it's applied to someone else other than yourself.


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momsparky
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15 Oct 2010, 2:25 pm

Never heard "aw, bless" but my DH uses "bless your heart" when he is expressing sympathy for someone who's having a hard time. While, culturally, it can be meant in a patronizing way, it also might be taken at face value: as a way of expressing a hopeful wish and understanding for someone who is troubled. Sort of a verbal hug.



chainsawswinger
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15 Oct 2010, 4:18 pm

huh. That's funny, this is definitely a regional thing. I've heard people saying that left and right in the American South, but where I live (California), I don't hear any such comments AT ALL. (Unless the person's visiting from the South).


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Stellar
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16 Oct 2010, 1:38 am

chainsawswinger wrote:
huh. That's funny, this is definitely a regional thing. I've heard people saying that left and right in the American South, but where I live (California), I don't hear any such comments AT ALL. (Unless the person's visiting from the South).

Yeah I don't hear it here in person at all either; just on the internet.



Asp-Z
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16 Oct 2010, 4:47 am

Lots of girls say it here in the UK.

I agree that it's patronising, but I think it means they find you cute and is generally a positive thing.



necroluciferia
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16 Oct 2010, 9:52 am

I had a tutor at college who once said it to me. I don't understand it, and also think it's very patronising. :?



lotusblossom
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18 Oct 2010, 2:36 am

Asp-Z wrote:
Lots of girls say it here in the UK.

I agree that it's patronising, but I think it means they find you cute and is generally a positive thing.

I dont want to be found cute, Im 32!! :cry:



Asp-Z
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18 Oct 2010, 10:22 am

lotusblossom wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
Lots of girls say it here in the UK.

I agree that it's patronising, but I think it means they find you cute and is generally a positive thing.

I dont want to be found cute, Im 32!! :cry:


I don't see what that's gotta do with anything. People can find you cute at any age.



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18 Oct 2010, 10:42 am

I don't get called "duckie" "love" "cocker" or "fella" anymore down south. I miss those odd balls up north



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30 Jul 2013, 6:08 am

I never use the word 'bless' and I hate the word; it exudes sentimentality and soppyiness, which both offend my need for objective logicality.

Unfortunately my support worker seems addicted to the word. If I mention going to the country and seeing some pretty farm animals, she will say 'bless' or 'bless them'. She also blesses other people, as in 'bless her', when talking about another person with Aspergers that she knows. Sometimes the word is used so grossly that I have to point it out. For example, I was talking about a programme that was recently on about violent young offenders, many of whom come from troubled backgrounds; 'bless them', she said!! !

It is a shame because it puts me off talking about subjects that could be sentimentalized, like animals or children.

My support worker is my only real source of social contact, and her support is vital, but I wish she would not use thay dreaded word!



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30 Jul 2013, 9:41 am

Aww bless!


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30 Jul 2013, 10:00 am

Aw.. :-) bless your little cotton socks.