Catty NT women in public places

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Miyah
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16 Oct 2010, 9:37 pm

For the two times, I have gone out in public and I have dealt with women who suddenly turn their nose up at me if I happen to say something normal and just make sarcastic remarks and walk away.

The first situation took place at a grocery store when I happened to be shopping in the baker's aisle. I was tired and so I was zoned out and didn't feel much like being bothered when this woman and her three kids were blocking the way and the mother came up to me and asked me where something was and I replied that I didn't know. since I did not understand her because she spoke too soft. I then took my cart and was about to walk away when I stopped and decided apologize. I said, "I am sorry for being rude, what do you need?" Her reply was, "Oh no, we don't need anything." Her son then echoed and pitched an attitude with me and they walked away leaving me confused and ticked off. I actually called her a B&^%$# under my breath and mocked them loud enough for her to hear but she ignored it.

The second scenario took place in a public library rest room and I happened to be talking to a lady about one of the new hand driers. I said that they are too rough on your hands, and she agreed with me. I then mentioned that they reminded me of the little driers that dentists use on your mouth to dry out your teeth. She then replied, "Oh, don't talk to me about that," and walked out. I then followed her and mocked her openly by copying what she said and walked away.

Has anyone else had to deal with weird behavior like that where you mention something normal when a woman is acting nice but then turns catty and suddenly walks away as if you did something wrong? I mean, women these days don't seem to have social skills anymore and especially NT ones.

I would also like to find something more polite to say to them without mocking them in the future.

menintights
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16 Oct 2010, 9:52 pm

It's hard to tell without hearing the tone they used, but I wouldn't rule out you being the catty one.

conundrum
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16 Oct 2010, 9:58 pm

Miyah wrote:

That's just...odd.

Was she actually trying to be rude (the behavior of her son not withstanding) or did SHE just "zone out" too?

Miyah wrote:

The second scenario took place in a public library rest room and I happened to be talking to a lady about one of the new hand driers. I said that they are too rough on your hands, and she agreed with me. I then mentioned that they reminded me of the little driers that dentists use on your mouth to dry out your teeth. She then replied, "Oh, don't talk to me about that," and walked out. I then followed her and mocked her openly by copying what she said and walked away.

Maybe she has a fear of dentists. However, she could have made that a bit more clear--her actions were kind of abrupt.

Miyah wrote:

Has anyone else had to deal with weird behavior like that where you mention something normal when a woman is acting nice but then turns catty and suddenly walks away as if you did something wrong? I mean, women these days don't seem to have social skills anymore and especially NT ones.

I would also like to find something more polite to say to them without mocking them in the future.

I agree with you about the social skills thing. It seems that people who have to LEARN them like a subject in school are more skilled than those who just take it for granted that they are *normal* and already know how to behave decently (yeah, right). :roll:

The two instances you described sounded like sheer carelessness to me. I could be wrong, since I wasn't there and didn't hear their tones of voice.

In future instances, don't even bother to respond--they aren't worth it, whether they're rude or just stupid.

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Miyah
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16 Oct 2010, 10:10 pm

menintights wrote:

It's hard to tell without hearing the tone they used, but I wouldn't rule out you being the catty one.

I was being catty only because they were as well

MissConstrue
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16 Oct 2010, 10:20 pm

I've had men act catty to me maybe in a different style I don't. They're all the same imo. -_-

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Miyah
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16 Oct 2010, 11:29 pm

MissConstrue wrote:

I've had men act catty to me maybe in a different style I don't. They're all the same imo. -_-

Yeah they can be however, women are the most catty and I would honestly love to slap them silly and shout at them but where would that get me? I honestly feel like telling them to get over themselves and to go drama somewhere else.

However, what advise would you give me?

sgrannel
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16 Oct 2010, 11:54 pm

Be glad you don't have to date them.

When women can't get along with each other, it's a mild turnoff for me. These days, you get all kinds of crap if you've got a hair in slight misalignment. One of the things a cattish person will bring out, is to call you "creepy". It sounds bad, but vague enough that you can't defend against it, so it unassailably puts the person who used it on you above you in the social hierarchy, for whatever reason they feel the need to do this.

I get the impression that my parents' generation didn't do this, and perhaps theirs took care of their own better than ours does.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/teen-with-cancer-vows-it-wont-keep-her-from-being,18176/

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menintights
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17 Oct 2010, 12:12 am

Usually, what makes you creepy has less to do with your hair alignment than with how you as a person come across. It could be your lack of facial expressions, your monotonous voice, or your eerie quietness. Whatever it is, people are rarely turned off by your hair misalignment. Yes, even catty women.

And your parents' generation probably did whatever your generation does today--they just didn't have any access to the internet to anonymously complain about everything and make it googleable for everyone else to know about their situation.

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I've had men act catty to me maybe in a different style I don't. They're all the same imo. -_-

Yes. I'm pretty good at avoiding catty women, but I still forget that men can be just as catty and bad things always happened when I didn't run away from them as soon as possible.

nostromo
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17 Oct 2010, 6:14 am

Miyah wrote:

The first incident could have a myriad of different interpretations depending on tone and so-on she may have taken offence to you tone for example, however the second incident is a bit of standard NT script (favored by a certain type of women in particular), and I'm afraid you probably misinterpreted her intentions. When people do that as they walk off it's not meant to be rude at all, quite the contrary:
1. They are acknowledging what you've said.
2. Saying 'don't talk to me about that' is actually a sympathetic way of saying 'yes I understand exactly what you mean as I've experienced it too, it/they/that are horrible' - the 'don't talk to me' phrase as with many NT utterances is not meant to be taken literally, and it's often delivered with an overly dramatic tone and rolling eyes.
3. It's used while walking away to end the conversation reasonably politely, i.e. bring it to a close

By mocking them and muttering you probably came across as a bit strange to them, as thats something typically immature people do. Esp strange if they didn't understood why they caused offence to you.

emlion
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17 Oct 2010, 6:40 am

Seems like you were being rude.
Wow mocking people just because they don't act like you want? That's childish.
I don't see a problem with what either person did.
I don't like to chat to random people in public bathrooms. :S

RossIsCool
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17 Oct 2010, 8:06 am

Miyah wrote:

MissConstrue wrote:

I've had men act catty to me maybe in a different style I don't. They're all the same imo. -_-

I would advise you to continue doing what you are doing. Continue getting angry at people and mocking them and then posting the stories on WP. Also, try the slapping/shouting thing you were talking about. That could be interesting.

Miyah
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17 Oct 2010, 8:13 am

emlion wrote:

Okay, I agree with what you told me about the mocking part but what do you suggest since she was got annoyed with what I told her because I don't want to mock her again.

BrickHorse
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17 Oct 2010, 9:16 am

MissConstrue wrote:

I've had men act catty to me maybe in a different style I don't. They're all the same imo. -_-

Nuh-uh!

Miyah, the first woman may have been catty, but the second one sounds like she was just in a hurry or something. usually when someone says "dont talk to me about that" it means the same as "OH DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED!"

LKL
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17 Oct 2010, 5:51 pm

emlion wrote:

I have to agree with this. Regardless of how those women were behaving, calling someone a b***h and !especially! following her around to continue harassing her is not only rude but a little freaky. If you don't understand why anyone (a woman included) is doing something, try using logic rather than emotion: 'Excuse me, but I interpreted that as a rude or negative remark directed at me. Was that your intent?' will often clear the air.

Chronos
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17 Oct 2010, 11:07 pm

Have you considered that perhaps you are mis-interpreting the situation?

For example, perhaps the woman in the grocery store had realized you were tired and didn't want to bother you more when other help was so readily available. Perhaps she had thought you worked there for some reason and then realized you hadn't.

Perhaps the woman in the bathroom at the library was trying to express that she knew all about those dryers at the dentist. Or maybe she had meant she doesn't like thinking of the dentist. Either way, I don't think she intended to be "catty" towards you.

MotherKnowsBest
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21 Oct 2010, 5:59 am

I agree with what others have said. I think you are misinterpreting the situation and then responding in a way that is a little scary.

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