Autistics who can read body language well

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I was really interested in this conversation with Donna Williams and others on the subject of people with autism who can read body language well.


blog.donnawilliams.net/2010/10/04/2011/

I am very interested to hear from other folks with autism who are able to understand the non-verbal and sensing world.

I think I'm quite sensitive to certain "vibes" I get from people. I tend to absorb the mood of the people I'm around to a problematic degree.

I'm aware that I'm not the best communicator through my own body language though. I guess when it comes to nonverbal signals I have more trouble with the "giving" than I do with the "receiving".

I think I'm pretty good at it (perhaps because of having a erratically explosive father) and my biggest problems come

from not knowing how to react. I think that uncertainty makes my own body language stiff and hard for others to read. if I

do miss it it's because I feel anxious about looking at the person directly.

Before my burnout/breakdown/regression(?) or whatever-to-call-it happened, I fit the stereotypical "hyperlogical, techie, computer programming aspie" stereotype pretty well. And I didn't tend to register "vibes" from people much. Then again, when I was very young I tended to get overwhelmed by people a lot. Also had an unpredictably explosive father, interestingly.

After the brain-melt, the loss/reduction of "linear thinking" did actually seem to make some intuitive perceptions easier to see. I think they were always there, but the "busy" thinking would just tend to crowd them out. Though even today, if I have to engage in talking to someone, I can't "see" anything (too "busy"). But if I get to watch them interact with someone else, I can see non-verbal things.

As far as expressive NV communication, I don't think I've ever been very good at that. Though I did learn to fake it some through watching a lot of comedy. Too tired these days to worry about it much, though.

Didn't have major verbalizing problems when I was a kid. I remember people constantly goading me to talk (since I rarely did), but it wasn't due to a flat-out inability to speak. Oddly, I now stutter and have word-finding problems worse than ever.

Well, I'm not entirely sure whether I'm an aspie...

But while I show many aspie traits, I can read body language really well. But like Aimless I have real trouble with figuring out how I'm supposed to react.
Since my mother took lots of care that I socialize with other people, I might have been confronted with the need to learn body language. I am fascinated by the many nuances of feelings that you can express with face and body, and sometimes would stand in front of the mirror trying out facial expressions.

Ditto what the other respondents have said, including being able to interpret even more subtle signals when watching other people interact. It's one of the reasons I didn't think I had an ASD until recently. I fail to read some facial expressions some of the time but mostly ones that the person producing them doesn't want me to see and is trying to suppress, like those of boredom, but that other people later tell me were obvious anyway.

Does anyone know whether the following diagnostic criterion is supposed to refer only to what we're talking about here, to difficulty using body language of one's own and not necessarily difficulty understanding other people's? To people with relatively monotonous voices, unexpressive faces etc.? Because the wording suggests that to me but I find them all written too vaguely (better than being too specific and excluding people with certain manifestations, I know) and several criteria are mysteries to me even though I know them by heart by now.

And then whether this one is actually the one that refers in part to the receptive element of non-verbal communication? Alternatively it could just be talking about a failure to return invitations or favours - social reciprocity - and to respond as expected to emotions that you might well know are there - emotional reciprocity - and therefore be the one that covers what we're talking about here. If the consultant goes through the list asking if I meet the criteria one by one as they did during my AD/HD assessment, I'm going to be thoroughly unsure how to respond unless I can figure out what they mean before then.

I don't feel like I've ever had a big problem with it. I am a female. I wonder if that makes a difference.

Anyway, I think I can tell when someone is angry, bored, or upset with me. My issue lies in being able to respond to that properly. I cannot comfort someone who is sad and I generally just wanna finish my thought in a conversation, even if the other person is bored. I don't know what this issue would be called- emotional reciprocity, I guess?

Go google "female aspergers" and have a nice time reading.

What do you mean? I know it presents differently in girls.

Generally speaking, I can read body language fairly well, though this has not always been the case. I think I've kind of learnt to do it over the years. I still have a bit of difficulty and it makes me anxious when I'm expected to respond to it with some body language of my own, but considering how I'm not meant to be able to even notice it, I think I do a decent job.

Sorry, your post seemed to imply that you don't know how gender can influence the symptoms
(since this "female aspergers" obviously indicates that being female does make a difference)
I wasn't conviced that I have aspergers until I accidently stumbled across that term and realised that this "being under pressure of understanding body language" might very well apply to me.

What I meant was that I am unsure if females Aspies can read body language better than males. What do you think?

The theory is that females are more expected to understand body language than males. Boys are allowed to be a little antisacial/asocial and nerdy, but from females appropriate social behaviour is expected.
This would mean that females are put under pressure to understand social rules and read body language.

So far the theory, and it would certainly explain while much more males are diagnosed with AS.
And it makes sense to me; most people tend to think in these stereotypes.

Yeah, that makes sense. Goes along with the reasoning that female Aspies can probably blend into normal society more easily than males.

That's exactly how it seems to me. The intentional non-verbal messages are the ones I tend to miss, but the unconscious expressions underneath them I tend to pick up on.

About the criteria: to my understanding the "official" theory is that autistic people can neither generate nor understand non-verbal signals. And "non-verbal signals" means the surface, intentional kind. I don't think the existence of the other kind would even be acknowledged, and if it were, it would probably be denied that autistics could pick up on it.

However, I've heard Attwood mention being aware of a sort of "psychic reading power" in some autistics. I.e. being overwhelmed by the "vibe" in a room, or picking up on things like someone being pregnant. I think it's just picking up of the unconscious NV signals, as discussed in this thread. If you happen to have an assessor who is really good and up to date, they might be aware of that.

BTW, Attwood attributes the "psychic power" to being female and ASC (being male I don't agree that it's exclusively due to gender, but that's another thread).

That's really interesting. By what I said above, I meant that if someone doesn't mind everyone seeing that they're bored, I'll instantly read the facial expression. But if they're trying to disguise their boredom, I can't read anything from the resulting hybrid expression. Other people say that person looked bored, even very bored, despite their efforts, but expressions involving deception like that just puzzle me completely. Is that how it is for you, or more the reverse?