Should having friends be a "fundamental right"?

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I believe having friends should be a fundamental right of each person. Of course, if the person does not want to have any friends, it should be respected. But I think we should have a system where there is "default friendship" and unless someone is really not interested in being your friend, two people should be friends by default.

No, I don't believe so. forcing others to be someones friend kind of defeats the meaning of friendship right? Friendship is something mutual. I do believe it is an almost universal human need in some degree or other, like water and food. Friendship is weird that way. Water and food are certainly human needs and also human rights. But friendship just doesn't work that way.

Thank god for animals.

No.

Friendship, sex, love, companionship....these are not "rights."

That is exactly how we were created: We need each other and we are aware of that and we act accordingly ... and then things get all messed up because we think we know some allegedly-better manner of living.

Nice Idea, but not compatible with reality. Sorry.

Have you had a bad time with a friend recently, jc6chan?

That's just stupid. Either you like someone or you don't, it's up to your own judgment. You can't just like someone by "default" because someone says you have to.

Look at that from another angle: It takes conscious effort to *not* like someone -- we are all "natural friends" until we consciously decide otherwise.

But that just isn't how it works.

Only if you define the term "friend" in an extremely shallow way.

I don't hang out with, do favors for, or divulge my secrets to people I just simply "know." A "friendship" takes actual effort. What you describe is a casual acquaintance, not a "friend."

I am most definately no one's "friend" by default.

Well, what motivated me to make this thread was the fact that I'm really lonely at university right now. You can blame me for the situation I put on myself all you want, but I just felt like "you know what? Why is friendship so hard to make and its so boring without friends? Should it be a person's right to have some friends?"

I agree that its a weird concept to smack new people in someone's face and tell them to be friends with them. But notice how I said that if the person does not want friends, then that wish should be respected.

Friendship is a feeling. You can't mandate what other people are going to feel. Everybody has a right to their own feelings. Nobody has a right to dictate what somebody else's feelings should be.

However, if you want to act as though everybody who hasn't told you to go away is a potential friend, that's actually a good way to make friends. Behaving as though the people you don't know are friends by default unless they show otherwise is how extroverts operate. If you aren't naturally an extrovert, it can be tough to act that way. But it is a good way to make friends.

Last edited by Janissy on 24 Oct 2010, 2:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Realistically, most people want to be friends with some people and not with others based on their personal preferences.

We should respect their wishes, which nullifies the idea of "friendship" as a right. And relationships with other people take hard work. Just because NT extroverts make it LOOK easy doesn't mean it is.

Yes, it certainly is! Some of us seem to have been born "naturally withdrawn" or whatever, but that is a different matter and not even part of the question here. For the remainder of us, we have quite naturally had "friends" (even if only of the imagined kind) from early on, and that is because we either consciously or subconsciously know of our need for same.


As children, we did not even think of those kinds of things and I am now suggesting recognition of some core facts about ourselves. There are many reasons to be picky about considering people friends, but those reasons do not change the fact we nevertheless do both need and want some.


... and I am not saying you either are or even should be. My point there is this:

By default, and with an occasional exception, we are each-and-all inclined toward friendship -- Why else would we be having this conversation?! -- and we do not need to be forced either to be a friend or to have one.


Some of us have difficulties in being a friend, and sometimes that is because we either cannot or will be what other people want us to be in order to be accepted as a friend.


Because we each have needs and desires related to other people.


We were each-and-all born with that "right", as such, and it is the pain of aloneness that drives us together ... but then that also leaves some of us standing alone amidst difficult circumstances when other people at least *seem* to be doing just fine without us.

No. Some people find it easier to go up and talk to others, but that does not mean everyone is automatically their friend.

Which still does not make friendship a "right." Wanting and even needing something does not make it a "right" to have it.



Because I enjoy writing and this is an outlet. You are not my friend.



Therefore, friendship is not a "right."



You have the "right" to pursue friendship, not to force people to be friends with you. There's a fundamental difference betweeen these two concepts. If you do not have any friends, none of your "rights" have been violated.

True. But some of the people will be their friend. If j6chan can will himself to act as though this "default to freindship unless they say otherwise" deal has already happened, he will make some friends. The saying "if you want to make a friend, be a friend" is actually true.