Spinnekop wrote:
I have learned to cope with first meetings.
You ask the person questions, and let them talk.
But then I dread meeting that person again. I usually cannot remember anything they said the previous time, so I cannot comment on anything. Can't ask the same questions again. And even if I do remember stuff, I have no idea what is appropriate to mention again. I actually fear meeting someone for the second time.
i cope with meeting people because i do not care what they think of me. i do not ask them questions. as far as i am concerned, i only meet them because i am introduced, and therefore i have no real interest in their life stories.
if i meet someone without being introduced, then i am more likely to be moderately interested in talking with them because the circumstance that must precede me "meeting" someone at large usually is that i find them interesting.
none the less, if they tell me stuff about themselves, i usually do not hear what they say because i can not stop myself thinking my own thoughts while they are talking.
it may seem contradictory that i say i find them interesting, yet do not hear what they say, but in my case, it is usually the way they move and perform actions that catches my eye.
i like to look at the way they go about their immediate performance in dealing with what is in front of them, and while i do not remember peripheral details about them that do not interest me, i do remember how they perform their movements and actions, so if i see them again, i will more than likely comment about the circumstance that i remember they were in when i saw them before, and that seems to stroke their ego's sufficiently for a few meetings before they eventually realize i am not really aware of the more "important" things about them that matter to them.
when someone loses interest in me because of my shortcomings, i do not really notice or care.
as far as i can see, they are just gone, and i always am happy to move along in life without barnacles clinging to my hull.