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insincere
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13 Nov 2010, 4:07 am

I find that people bully and interact for a reason, to set up a hierchy and when its set up you are supposed to fall in line with the leaders. Maybe im aspie, maybe not but I will only fall in line with others when I'm in the same mind of thinking. There have been many times where I fall out of favour with people because I am simply not attentive enough with the status quo, or other times when I flat out refuse to follow something I don't agree with. Most people go through life so preocupied with adhering to common practice and doing what others want that when they see someone doing something independantly or original they get ticked off. I don't know, maybe there are just a lot of really fussy people out there that can't help looking displeased all the time, or like I have been told before that maybe people don't like my face but it just seems to me that a large precentage of men I encounter are just waiting to complain about something. As soon as you stand out from the crowd they will be all over you.



LittleTigger
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13 Nov 2010, 5:30 am

Most of sicoetys is disapoiunted with me
because I have no use for their incompatible
"rules".

I do not break the law, so what is their problem?

I still do not know and I dont have enough
power to worry/care about it anymore.


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mechanicalgirl39
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13 Nov 2010, 8:12 am

Your assessment is pretty much spot on.

Most people, not all, have an unhealthy preoccupation with being 'normal'. Even if something isn't morally wrong or harmful in any way you're not allowed to do it because it's not 'normal'. At best people see you as a miscreant, at worst people will go to very sheer lengths to destroy you to make you 'normal'.


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claudia
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13 Nov 2010, 8:42 am

insincere wrote:
I find that people bully and interact for a reason, to set up a hierchy and when its set up you are supposed to fall in line with the leaders.

You're right. Im NT also, but I have an Aspie social trait. I hate hierarchies and both when I am a follower and when I am (or should be) rhe leader.
When I started with my job, I was disgusted by the lack of respect my managers showed.
Years later I was the manager and I was disgusted to be a watchdog supporting some other's gain. I say to my colleagues "Do whatever you want but finish your work on time and don't bother me".
I don't know what is worse, considering that bullying seems to be a not written rule so your co-workers hurt if you refuse to do your work, that is an unpleasant work they for them also, but they don't refuse to do it. That's how NTs function, they wouldn't know how else they could manage human relationships.
They need hierarchy



Sallamandrina
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13 Nov 2010, 9:01 am

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
Your assessment is pretty much spot on.

Most people, not all, have an unhealthy preoccupation with being 'normal'. Even if something isn't morally wrong or harmful in any way you're not allowed to do it because it's not 'normal'. At best people see you as a miscreant, at worst people will go to very sheer lengths to destroy you to make you 'normal'.


+1

Both your observations reflect very well my own experience. But I highly value my independence - of thought and action - and I'm willing to pay whatever price to keep it.


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Densaugeo
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13 Nov 2010, 12:17 pm

I think its a control thing...everyone has their preferences, and NTs who spend a lot of time worrying about others have a lot of preferences about how others should be. In a world where they can pick whatever to wear, what to listen to, whatever temperature for their thermostat etc, its very frustrating not to be able to turn a dial and change other people to what they want.

Unsurprisingly, they continue to be frustrated and unhappy unless they accept that they will just have to live with other people the way they are (and a few actually do this). There's not much the unfortunate people around them can do about it though.



Musicprophets
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13 Nov 2010, 1:02 pm

yes the original poster is dead on. and unfortunately i dont believe this game of hierarchy and following social rules does not end til you're near your deathbed (natural death of course). it only intensifies and gets more demanding than any of the high school hierarchy and division we first experienced. It like you're expected to be social, friendly, laughing at all stupid things, have knowledge of shallow interests/topics, be religious or not religious, have a general like for all politicians (regardless of the political environment) and never pander to either side because someone will be upset with you, love sports and talk player stats and performances like its a glass of water and in way too much detail, be a gamer or dont be a gamer, know very little about pop culture history but always be willing to watch what the sheep watch, never discuss politics or religion because everyone assumes everyone else is in agreement with them, and always love to communicate and have a smile on your face because if you dont people think you hate them and then they dont care for you at all. and unfortunately the only ones who value independence are the ones who have the courage to be independent, not as a martyr or independent yet popular viewpoints, but being your own person. society wants to strip that away from you as you get older so they can make money off of you and make sure you are following the invisible lines of order and normality. dammit!



Awiddershinlife
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13 Nov 2010, 1:34 pm

Sallamandrina wrote:
mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
Your assessment is pretty much spot on.

Most people, not all, have an unhealthy preoccupation with being 'normal'. Even if something isn't morally wrong or harmful in any way you're not allowed to do it because it's not 'normal'. At best people see you as a miscreant, at worst people will go to very sheer lengths to destroy you to make you 'normal'.


+1

Both your observations reflect very well my own experience. But I highly value my independence - of thought and action - and I'm willing to pay whatever price to keep it.


It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society. - Krishnamurti
.
.


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