((Warning to the sensitive: the following is parody, nothing more. ^.~ No offense is meant.))
"Thou shalt not eat twinkies" was in one of the 5 commandments that Moses dropped. (For reference, see Mel Brooks's film "History of the World: Part One.") Along with it were:
-"Thou shalt not allow the one known as Uwe Boll to have any involvement in the creation of film, for he is the Anti-Christ."
-"Thou shalt pluck the dark-skinned children from their wombs and feed them to the pigs, for our race must be Aryan and unified." (For reference on how to best feed people to pigs, see the film "Snatch.")
-"Thou shalt not listen to liberals."
-"Thou shalt warship Cthulhu along with the almighty GOD, and take the first, second, and third Order of Dagon. Thou shalt not let one who does not take the Third Order of Dagon live."
There was also a star after "Thou Shalt not kill," indicating a footnote, but nobody noticed it. The footnote was on that broken slab of rock, and said:
"Except Blacks, Asians, Latinos, Jews, Agnostics, Atheists, Muslims, Pagans, Non-believers, Liberals, Radicals, Moderates, Witches, H.P. Lovecraft, Those who read the propaganda that that H.P. Lovecraft fellow has spewed, Actors, Politicians not of Bush blood, Jehova Witnesses, Mormons, Satanists, Deists, Immigrants, Communists, Socialists who are not National Socialists (Nazi's), Hippies, Goths, Emos, Pimps, Punks, RPG nerds, And anyone else whose mere existence questions the almighty will of GOD."
You see, Christianity is in reality a Nazi Cult of Cthulhu. No, really, I read it in a book that Zeus wrote a long time ago. Zeus also says that the Law of Gravity is propaganda and doesn't exist. And if Zeus says it, I believe it!