You are only what you are when no one is looking?

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Does this resonate?

I'm only invisible when nobody's watching me

Yes. I think this is a much truer way of saying something Tony Attwood does-- you can remove all symptoms of Aspergers by putting an Aspie by himself. That of course is nonsense--- I still have the anxiety and rigid thinking and flapping and really all of the things that make me asp-tastic. I even have huge social issues because I can't get people out of my head when I'm alone.

But self-consciousness is a huge issue for me, so I do relate. I also think about what Taylor Morris says about people with autism being happy when we are in our own internal worlds is part of this.

And, you know, Schrödinger and all that.

Very true for me. There are certain people I can mostly be myself with--maybe 80% or 90% (which isn't bad) but there are still certain aspects I hide with everyone which only come out when I am alone.

I believe this is kind of what you're talking about?

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/M ... eInTheDark

I have often felt I can only be myself when alone, especially when I was younger. I am working on being myself when I am around others no matter what they think!

How about this?

"The man in me will hide sometimes
To keep from being seen
But that's just because he doesn't want
To turn into some machine..."

Wonderful Psiri....i love it! And I love your quotation....my favourate Dylan song.

Thank you.

This only makes sense to me if I say I'm only what I am when I'm dead. Other than that, I'm me alone, and I'm me with others. It might or might not be what I want in either situation, but I can't get away from the fact that it was me that was there and did what I did.

Being solitary or inner circle removes stresses and obviates the need for defense pretense. But I think everyone is so, it is just size of circle and degree of shell.

I am like this everywhere no matter who is watching. Working on getting help for this. It's better to have a mask at your disposal because you can take it on and off. Every time I try to put a mask on it's obvious that I'm faking it. Now I've finally given up. While this gives me a major sense of freedom I still want to figure out how to wear the mask.

I'm reclined on my bed pretending to smoke a chapstick container like its a cigar stub or something (I didnt even think about doing it until typing it just now), listening to my head phones, moving to it a bit, on the laptop. If the door to my bedroom suddenly flung open, besides being embarassed that I was caught with my guard down, I think I would monitor all my behavior as if the door was always open and my mom was standing there for the next three years or so.

So I very much agree with the subject.

i know what you mean but i even feel stifled at home alone because i have problems with neighbors and such and am constantly on high alert about it. i get no peace.

I agree. I think I'm only truly myself when I'm alone. Otherwise I'm acting in what I think is the most socially acceptable way.