Can I learn more about this?

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Quite frankly being on the spectrum I feel discriminated enough as it is in my NT family (I have not even got the benefit of having siblings or first degree relatives who have AS.)

I am trying to learn more about defecits in communicaiton with AS and here I have found something on wikipededia.

"Although individuals with Asperger syndrome acquire language skills without significant general delay and their speech typically lacks significant abnormalities, language acquisition and use is often atypical.[5] Abnormalities include verbosity, abrupt transitions, literal interpretations and miscomprehension of nuance, use of metaphor meaningful only to the speaker, auditory perception deficits, unusually pedantic, formal or idiosyncratic speech, and oddities in loudness, pitch, intonation, prosody, and rhythm.[1]

Three aspects of communication patterns are of clinical interest: poor prosody, tangential and circumstantial speech, and marked verbosity. Although inflection and intonation may be less rigid or monotonic than in autism, people with AS often have a limited range of intonation: speech may be unusually fast, jerky or loud. Speech may convey a sense of incoherence; the conversational style often includes monologues about topics that bore the listener, fails to provide context for comments, or fails to suppress internal thoughts. Individuals with AS may fail to monitor whether the listener is interested or engaged in the conversation. The speaker's conclusion or point may never be made, and attempts by the listener to elaborate on the speech's content or logic, or to shift to related topics, are often unsuccessful.[5]"



Sometimes when I think I am speaking plain english to one of my parents they do not always understand what I mean even if to me what I am saying is perfectly clear english.

Sorry i just feel like I need to learn more about this so I would really appreciate some personal input into this. Cannot belive my life has turned out to be like this though my own family treat me like I am not even human

I really think people hear what they want to hear. I get the same problem. All I can say is to rephrase what you are saying and summarize at the end like they teach in public speaking courses. Then ask them if they have understood. There has been many times when I think I have been clear, only to found out later that they seem to have forgotton what I've told them. One of my strengths is that I have excellent recall of conversations, even from conversations I've had from years ago. Other people seem to communicate in the moment with the act of communication, and not the message, being what is important. I seem to record what is said for later reference.

What do you think the use of "metaphor only meaningful to the speaker" means?

I think they mean using a metaphor that can only be understood easily by you, the speaker. "His stare was icy moons that raised the hair on my arms" is a metaphor. One understood by an aspie that collected postage stamps might be, "His eyes were a off-centered, five-cent Franklin stamp that had been lost under a pile of old letters." Least that is how I take it. The first most people would understand, the second might mean rare or confused or something else entirely.

You mean like talking in riddles?

Argh this is so confusing

NTs speak/hear in a rough pattern matching exercise. They more or less hear you and match up what you say according to what they expect to hear. This works because NTs rarely have anything unusual or new to say.

If you really want to be understood, paint pictures with words. Tell stories. Think of clever "sound bites" to get your point across. Don't say too much--learning new stuff is tough for NTs.

What do NTs expect to hear?

They typically expect to hear what other NTs say in the same situation.

So what type of things would NTs say which would differe from aspies in a situation?

The difference is that NTs are more involved in social situations, so they are much better at learning "group speak." Aspies try to speak literally, rather than mimicking what they have heard.

I know as well aspies can be too wordy in what they. that can be easily fixed though but still even if your not so articulate in what you say you have only won half the battle.

do NT's natuarlly just pick up how there fellow kind speak natuarlly without even thinking?

Communication can be very difficult. I especially noticed this when things get "heated", when emotions become more important than the message. Then, they will only hear that you do not share in their emotion and will react to that instead of listening to what you actually say.

A technique me and my husband use for this is to have the other repeat what they have said, when it seems strange or when the conversation is emotionally important.
It is a time-consuming ordeal, but often we get at least closer to the point. Very often I am very surprised what he had understood, but he is often surprised, too.
But you must be careful about this technique, because when you phrase it like "Did you just say... ?" it comes off as very aggressive. Also, people usually refuse when you ask them to summarize what you have just said.

Also, sometimes, when he seems weird, I take a guess at what he is feeling. This also helps, because I am usually wrong