Autism breakdowns, what has helped you get over them?

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Hi there, I am 26 yr old female recently diagnosed with Autistic Disorder. This year is also my first year the no 1. grad program in the nation for my area of focus. I have never felt more disabled in my life. I have two ivy league degrees and you know normally I can do things....

as I get older my functioning seems to get worse and worse. I've read on here that some people get worse as they get older, that seems to be happening with me.

My program requires a 30 hr position, which ends up being like 45 hrs, plus a full course load, and I am going places from 7am-10pm 5 days a week.

EVERYTHING HAS FALLEN APART. Last week I just CRACKED. I would get up for work and find myself staring out the window in utter FEAR. I just stared. I couldnt make myself leave. Then I just shut down. I slept. I didnt tell anyone where I was. I let my phone die. I stopped showing up to all my classes and all my meetings. When I was awake I had constant meltdowns.

Now I am dealing with constant Doctors, and now I am even missing some of those appointments. I feel SICK, but like inside SICK, like I cant breathe or move or think without this haze of fog and panic.

I cant remember anything either, I cant remember meetings, my classes, I lose EVERYTHING, i cant make myself reply to emails,

I left my job this week, and the professor who runs the program sent me and my entire department a VERY hostile email about how I have ruined things, let people down, taken the project for a free ride for money, and to make things worse--this professor is my ADVISORS WIFE.

Now the mere thought of showing up in my classes or in my department terrifies me.TERRIFIES ME.

I told them I had autism and that I had a breakdown and that I am really on edge here, but it didnt seem to matter when she basically humiliated me in front of everyone and made me feel bad, as if just one day I sat around and said "you know what would be fun to do today? RUINING MY LIFE, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A BLAST."

Also I just HATE having to let people know something so personal, and then hearing them say "you seem fine to me" well f*****g thank you very f*****g much, how about I call you when I am hysterically sobbing in about 20 minutes because I opened my chip bag from the wrong side, and you can tell me how normal I am TO YOU.


I am meeting to get meds, do anti-anxiety meds really help? Do any of you hae some help techniques? How did temple grandin do this? Anyone with a coping mechanism?? Nothing seems to work!

The only thing that's ever helped me is to force myself to control it. However, I will warn you, that while this does always work, you will be extremely tired afterwards.

Okay it sounds like you are doing way too much, being on the spectrum has nothing to do with it. Many NT's would be incapable of pulling that easily without it affecting their health especially if it is high stress.

A day or two after a breakdown, I take a step back and than pull myself up by my bootstraps, living my life as I did before the breakdown.

I really dislike when ppl say being on the spectrum has nothing to do with it. If it is hard for NTs it is EVEN WORSE for people on the spectrum

I think they mean that it would be hard for anyone to do, not that it isnt harder for you. That schedule would crush most people NT or otherwise.

ah yes, I have actually witnessed every single person in my program sob at some point this semester. We were told be expected to cry every day the first 2 months. That said, I am afraid this recent breakdown will cause me to hide out and ruin my chances of graduating.

Do anti anxiety meds help? And for REAL how does Temple Grandin Do it

It helps me to look at things one day at a time. If I look at a project and how big it will be over time it will make me want to run. If I can just look at tomorrow and get through it, I can manage even a big thing.

http://www.autistics.org/library/more-a ... ml#burnout

It sounds like your brain is protesting against being pushed further beyond its stress-limit. On the upside, it doesn't sound like serious damage is happening yet. Some people seem to have cognitive and health losses that happen from burnouts/breakdowns. In my case, I seem to have permanently lost various skills (and my physical heath is a bit messed up, also). And about half of that was due to stress from a tough academic program. But given my experience I probably overdo warning people about that.

You might want to check this out -- specifically, the section entitled "burnout."

http://www.autistics.org/library/more-autistic.html

Since I went over the cliff I don't have much advice on how to avoid it, except, "mind the stress; and don't try to be a 'tough guy' and just ignore it. Take a break if needed." Obviously, that can be very difficult especially if you're seen as very "high functioning." I read someone describe that once as being like a duck -- appears calm and fine on the surface, but under water is furiously paddling.

I don't mean this stuff to unduly be scary, but the following thread is about various peoples' burnout/breakdown experiences. It just seems like people on the spectrum tend to be good at ignoring all kinds distress. (And can end up in situations where no one really recognizes how bad it really is.)

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt122215.html

omg how terrifying can i come back from this??
Have you all come back from breakdowns??


I remember my breakdown while at Brown, it was so bad, I know I havent been the same since, I was a straight A student until mid jr year, now I cant make myself do any work until right before, or even very late.

You got through high school. You're doing pretty well

Ive never tried meds. I find that smoking weed keeps me sorta calm by lowering my overall energy levels. I dont have the more volatile outbursts. It sorta streamlines my anxieties and spreads them out throughout my life so Im more anxious all the time but dont have the blow ups. I hate it and wouldn't recommend it

As far as Anti-Anxiety meds they work okay for most things, basically they will meet you half way, but you need to go the extra stretch. If your proffessor and Advisor don't believe you about your issues present them with a Doctors note. I find it a pleasent way to say F*** you without acctually saying it. I have meltdowns, breakdowns, what have you all the time. I am in high school, but it isn't your average one. I go to a tech school and study Culinary Arts, in a full functioning kitchen. It gets stressful especially with a party of 50 every day of the week. The anti anxiety meds help will everyday stuff like getting out of the house and getting me to sleep, but I still have to cope with high stress situations and it is difficult. I had a meltdown just now in fact and I wasn't doing anything stressful except I slept for like 5 hours after school and I was worried I was coming down with something. So I got stressed out, now I coped with it by taking a shower, it seem to calm me down, not at first but right afterward I feel great. I just took my meds, I find that risperdal and lexapro work great for me, everyone is different as far as meds and coping goes, pardon my spelling. When I am at school and I have a meltdown, I quickly finish whatever I am doing, tell my instructer I need a break, then I sit down and breathe deeply and calm down, try to meditate what have you, and then I go back to work. It isn't easy, but you need to try to get through it. Hang in there Brown06 .

I was saying her schedule is too much for anyone and has nothing to do with Autism. She isn't "getting worse," she merely is trying to do too much.

Well, you know, not everyone has that happen to as severe a degree as in that thread (erg, maybe I shouldn't have posted that). Some people seem to have breakdowns, but do recover back to normal or near-normal, given decreased stress and some time. And, plenty don't have that happen at all.

If I had to do it over again, I'd try to get recognition of the stress (officially, like from a therapist or doctor) and use it to get reduced hours (I was doing about the same 80+ hours/week (which is insane)). Or even take a break, or a leave of absence, if possible. Of course, other people's attitudes can make doing that really difficult.

But anyway, it's not guaranteed it'll turn out so severely in your case. And at least you recognize and admit that your stress level needs to be dealt with.

I just meant to say, "be careful" -- maybe I overdid it a bit.

Thanks I will try. What is difficult is that I am at Peabody, Special Education, the top SPED program for the past 10 years and yet I feel as though I have to educate my professors. It seems they like the "others" kept to experiments and papers, they do NOT like having them in classes or having to deal with their accommodations.

I told the head of the department that I wanted to change advisors because I felt uncomfortable confiding in my advisor who is the husband to the woman who humiliated me in front of everyone. He replied at first saying ok, then later saying he has decided I should stay with this advisor. WTF, isnt an advisor my choice? and I replied saying " I am glad you are comfortable with this but more importantly I AM NOT" and a host of other things trying my best to explain my side but prob coming off like a total as*hole.

I am meeting with the disability services Tuesday but i am not keeping my hopes high after all this