Why exactly should we modify our behavior?

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If they can't handle stimming, too bad. NTs seem like such babies. They get easily nervous and can't handle eccentricities. Many NTs will dislike us either way so why should we particularly care how they feel? I'll be myself and if other people don't like it, I don't care. I live for myself and not others. Why should the wants of society go above the freedom of the individual?

You should modify your behavior when it interferes with your life. If rocking make it hard to drive a car then and you want to drive a car then you need to modify your behavior.

If someone tells you that you're weird because you rock and their feelings on the matter have no bearing on you life, then feel free to tell them to go suck an egg.

I think whether you should or shouldn't depends on the behavior, the situation, and what you want out of it.

If you rock back and forth in my presence, I generally do not care are long as it is not physically disturbing me in some way. However I also believe respect is a two way street, and if you want individuals to respect that you have certain boundaries, I believe you should also respect some of their boundaries.

I do not want someone standing so close to me they are touching me.

I do not want to listen to someone whine about their lives and how bad it is and wishing bad things on other people "just because they are better than they are."

I do not want to listen to someone talking about the same thing over and over and never listen to what I want to talk about.

I do not want someone holding me up and making us thirty minutes late for our movie just because he was a slow poke and refused to get ready long before it was time to go

I also do not want someone telling me they be here and then they take two hours to leave their home when it's past two hours when they said they were leaving. It drives me crazy and gives me anxiety because I get so anxious.

Yep everyone has to modify their behavior in some ways. AS or not.

I think modifying my behaviour is a good idea if it improves my life.

I struggle with this, too. I'm going to do all this and maybe I'm going to get partial acceptance ? ? ?

Because societies have norms. Generally speaking, stimming is not a societal norm. The worst-case scenario depends on what your stim is, but at the very least people are going to wonder what's wrong with you.

I've thought about my Aspie Political Action League (so far only in the dream stage!). And psychologists are welcome to join, but they're not going to lead the show. In fact, to our non-Aspie supporters and advocates, we're going to issue this challenge: consider stimming in a public place. Just consider it. We're not going to put heavy pressure on you. It's a gift just to consider it.

Or, we go to a restaurant that can comfortable serve 20 people, maybe a celebratory meal after speaking before city council or speaking with an entrepreneur and challenging him or her (you say you have trouble finding good people, you say you want a diverse work force, prove it). We're all well-dressed. It's not immediately apparant to the employees of the restaurant and the other customers who are the autistic people and who are the 'normal' person. And for a professional, the fact that you yourself may be mistaken for an autistic person and see the kind of casual deprecating treatment, that in and of itself is both liberating and a chance to walk a mile in our shoes.

No harness on my back - no Neurotypical will dictate to me what I should be doing, how I should feel etc.

Actually everyone stims but they do stims that are more acceptable like pen clicking or pencil tapping, doodling, or finger drumming.

But the stims we do stand out more because they are different and not something people do such as hand flapping or rocking (NTs rock sometimes though, I am sure you have seen kids doing it in your school when you went), pacing (NTs pace too though but they do it when they are nervous).

And the funny thing is, if you go to a poker room, it sounds like thousands and thousands of insects because the poker players are fiddling their chips. That is, they are stimming!

And when I taught high school math about ten years ago (and had my position "nonrenewed" because I couldn't control the class, although I knew my material and could explain it), when I proctored a test by standing in the back of the room, I noticed ear reddening in maybe about a third of my class and it rotated among which boy (all boys Catholic high school) and about a third of the boys at any one time kind of balanced a leg on the toes, ball of foot area and kind of swung of leg in and out. This is sometimes described as "knee bouncing," but that's not really accurate or that's only a minority of the time. It's more like knee flagging or knee waving. And this also is stimming behavior!

And I tell myself it's about engagement, not conformity.

I want a 'typical' person who's a friend or potential friend to feel comfortable. How about that? And Yeah, they're going to need to understand that I sometimes stim and understand that it's not a big deal.

Last edited by AardvarkGoodSwimmer on 29 Nov 2010, 4:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Because i live on a planet with 7 billion other people, that's why.

Because learning to adjust made me stronger and happier, since i learnt how to adapt and yet keep track of myself. I got the best of both worlds.

Because it makes life a hell of alot easier.

Because people will have to adjust to me aswell. And they do. So I do.

Because most NT's are superficial judemental bastards. Why is it that when an animal such as a lizard or cat thinks it's another species such as a dog, no one complains and takes it to the vet claming there is something wrong with it and it needs treatment to make it act like a lizard or a cat.

You can modify your behavior if you don't like the outcome it gets you. If you would rather stim than not have strangers look at you funny then there is no problem at all. I modify my behavior because I don't want to be the guy talking so loud on his cell phone that everyone stares at him. I'm much more tolerant than most of those around me about people behaving in ways that annoy others. Understanding how you affect others and they affect you can help with tolerance, and you only control yourself.

Sometimes you may have to challenge the norms. Be prepared for the consequences.

Finally, there are societal norms that I do agree with society on. Society does ostrasize a certain group. The norm I do agree upon is not being a pedophile. The group that I am against is pedophiles. There are pedophiles out there who want acceptance for their sick, perverted, and deviant behavior.