Social Interaction Difficulty Not Consistant

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Well basically as I keep saying, I'm not diagnosed with AS. But I am wondering if anyone else's social interaction difficulties vary quite a bit depending on situation like mine do. Here are some examples of what I have to deal with:

If someone approaches me with small talk, like "how are you?", I will go into detail on how I am doing, then continue on talking about something else I find interesting. The other person doesn't like this. The only situation this works is when I go to therapy, where you are expected to do this. Then the conversation looks about normal because I want the therapist to say things back in response so I give her breaks in order to respond. Normally however I don't give anyone room to talk.

If I have something to tell someone, I skip the smalltalk and go straight to what I want to tell them.

Now this was a bad situation, once I actually tried to start a convo with a person by saying "hi". I expected them to say "hi! How are you?" back. But this person went silent. The convo with this person was hard because I think she lacked some social skills too and/or social anxiety.

On the other hand, occasionally I can have very normal conversations with people I am comfy with. I'm really confused by this.

It's a hard lesson to learn, but not everyone is interested in things I am. Most people, in western culture anyway, are only interested in themselves. Have you looked at the thread of social rules. One of the rules that is hard to get used to is that when people ask you how you are, the proper response is fine, nothing more. People ask that question to be social, they don't really want to know how you are.

When you say hi to someone and they don't answer take that as a clue they don't want to talk to you. It doesn't mean they have social issues because most people understand that if someone doesn't answer you, they don't want to talk to you at the moment, or ever for some.

I found a lot of good tips in the thread of social rules. You might want to check them out. Or keep doing what you've been doing.

yeah, so uh... I pretty much don't say anything unless I am specifically asked and/or the topic is landed on one of my "obssessions". THEN I will talk an ear or two off...

I freak'n hate small talk...

The chance of a relatively equal, 2-way conversation varies a lot in my case. If the other person is quiet or meek, I can find myself talking their back legs off. Others seem to apply some control over the conversation by interrupting at the right moment or looking/turning away (which I sometimes notice and respond to). Some people are more talkative than I am (even at my worst), and I usually just let them rant away. In a way those are my favourite people because they're so wrapped up in their own ideas that they aren't as likely to notice any mistakes I make. As long as I can follow roughly what they're on about, I get points for being a good listener at least.

Anxiety, fatigue and general mood probably come into it too. I usually do better socially if I keep calm and if I'm in a good mood.

I'm generally not good at the 2-way thing, but I get the impression that there aren't many people who are all that good at it. Naturally, if it's going t work, the other person needs to have that skill themselves.

Many people are surprised to hear I'm autistc. They just think I am a bit weird. I'm mostly OK with social interaction (I mean, as OK as an Aspie can be, not the same as a neurotypical person), and I can make smalltalk up to a point, although I prefer skipping to the point. It's also easier when I am well-rested. I do OK in business situations and I can lead a meeting. I can also manage cocktail parties when I am feeling OK, although there are other things I would prefer to do with my time.

When I visit my moither, she is quite happy for me to be wearing weird clothes normally, but she likes me to look more sophisticated if we go to a tea party or to a mall, so I oblige her gladly. She's a nice person. All in all, I am pretty good at assuming the role of a 'normal' person, provided that the conditions allow it, and provided that I don't have to do it all the time. I don't like having to sustain it, it's like speaking a foreign language when you just want to get back to talking in your native tongue. I really don't like having to sit in an upright chair. The floor or a bed or a couch is OK, and I like to put up at least one leg.

When I am suffering from sensory overload and/or anxiety, it all falls apart completely and my social skills are gone. Sometimes I can't even talk or send an SMS when I am in that state. I was like that often for several months last year and at the beginning of this year.