My boyfriend can't find a job and is losing motivation.Help!

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Hey, everybody, I'm a NT in a relationship with an aspergian. I love him to pieces, and he's helped me through so much--I had a terrible, long illness which I recently went through a series of major surgeries for, and he was my primary support through that ordeal, I love his ridiculous sense of humor, we enjoy reading to each other and at the end of the day there is no one else I'd rather be with-- However...

He can't find a job. This condition is quickly morphing into won't find a job. We moved to this city 2 years ago, after he graduated (i worked for a year, waiting for him to graduate) so I could go to grad school. He wasn't able to find a job last year, big surprise because of the economy, but I didn't really give him much trouble because he was actively looking and I knew the stats were way against him. Fast forward to now, and he's almost entirely given up the search, and will only do it if I sit with him and fill the apps out alongside him, after he's lost his temper with me, usually. I have school and see friends there, and I am about to start 2 internships. Money isn't really a problem, I have student loans (although I do pay for about 80% of our expenses, its more about the principle of the matter), and he's taking internet courses to get a teaching license in addition to his previous degree. But because they're online, he almost never leaves the house, has no friends he sees regularly, and I am usually the only one to he talks to every day. He's depressed about this, gaining a lot of weight (which bums him out, I don't really care) and getting stir crazy. He keeps saying he wants to change things, but never takes the initiative, and when I make plans to do so ( Voc Rehab, networking with my friends) he gets frustrated. We really don't know what to do, but I know this can't be all that unusual. Any help? What did you guys do to find work? How would you like a partner to help you?

You guys sound cute.

In order to find motivation, he needs to figure out what it is that he wants. What job would he like to have? If there is nothing to work towards, where does the motivation part come in?

Vocational Rehab is the way to go. From there, he may be able to get placement somewhere else. Alot of people are scared of Voc-Rehab and such. He's going to have a lot of trouble finding a job that he can do well in this economy (not fast-food). I'd really recommend trying to find work as a receptionist, delivery man, or maybe work as a librarian.

I think his reaction is somewhat normal though maybe aggravated by his Aspergers. Try getting him to wash dishes, do housework. Or maybe get him involved in some sort of charity such as boys and girls club.

What's his degree in? There may be some sort of opportunity for at-home work.

sorry, librarian you can't do these days without a 4 year degree. i know, that seems silly, right? but there's actually such a thing as a library science degree...

i'm not sure what to suggest. i'm kind of in the same boat as him, and it's not a lack of motivation, TBH. it's frustration. i'm a freaking programmer. and i can't even seem to get a job chasing carts at a supermarket or get hired at a mcmurder's where they employ work-release felons. is disheartening.

one thing i have been doing, is i got a magicjack so i have a "landline", and i've been applying for every possible work-from-home job i absolutely can. other than that, i'm not sure what to say.

It sounds like you're your boyfriend's only support right now, and that's a stressful situation to be in. I can see where he's coming from though, because if you've been job-searching for a year or more and having no luck, frustration does set in. Chronos makes a good point-- maybe your boyfriend needs to take a break and think about something else for a while. Obviously, he's extremely worn down, and it's hard to search for a job effectively when your enthusiasm is gone. Maybe if he did take a short break, it would make him more productive when he did resume the search.

I've been unemployed for a year, and structure + getting out of the house is really crucial to my well-being. I also do some "unofficial" odd jobs that make a bit of money: Pet-sitting and selling things on Ebay.

The outdoors are a good idea, thanks guys. I'm hoping Christmas helps; we're planning on going to see our old friends from college, which I think will help (his best friend is NT and also out of work, which may make him feel like less of a failure). I'm also glad to hear that Voc Rehab has worked for some of you, can anyone say what they did specifically? I've been considering them for myself as well, actually; I got Voc Rehab grants as an undergrad for my Dyslexia/ADHD (I know, the two of us are a mess haha)and considered looking to them for jobs post-grad. I wouldnt' have pushed him to it, if I hadn't had a good undergrad experience with them.

and someone said upthread he sounds cute; he totally is