Here we go again...

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Its almost becoming a consistent thing. A cycle of having times of good and bad as always and then out of the blue posting on here. Yet I grow tired of it, for the things I want are clearly not meant to be. I've stopped exercising and now I am just going to stop eating soon. Rot and death to end the cycle once and for all. Found a nice place for my body and now all I need is a gun and I will have the means to finally put my plan into motion. Soon so very soon, I shall truly feel no more pain.

Even if I don't do it today, someday it will happen. Once I am in my 40th year it is a guarantee, as I told my mom that I would do it then if nothing else. For dying of old age does not appeal to me as its merely delaying what is inevitable and by then my nieces and nephews will have grown up and will be able to handle themselves.

I have these dreams sometimes which are hopeful only to awake and remember why its impossible. Dunno why I am even posting this, it is almost better to say nothing and let it be a surprise to everyone.

Last edited by Hell-Fox on 11 Dec 2010, 10:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

No matter how old kids are, they'd still be traumatised by you killing yourself.

Yes, and be sure to also leave something for your grandchildren.

An unfortunate truth. I am still trying to learn to have another reason to live.

~Kate

Yeah, suicide is the easy way out for the person.
They rarely think about how it'll effect the people they'll leave behind.

Eh, should clarify something. I don't have kids of my own but its the kids of my brother and cousins really. I don't see em much anyway. Updated the main post to end the confusion.

Its not going to be that traumatizing, besides humans are adaptable they'll move on like all creatures on the earth.

Don't be a pussi. Killing yourself is what pussiess do because they don't know how to make it to the next level. They are just going to send you back. Over and Over as the same type of person with the same problems, unless you man up and move to the next level. There is another level you know. One where you look back and see how ridiculous your sad whining was.