How much empathy do NT's have anyway?

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I've become rather curious about something. It is often said that those with AS have empathy deficits. That, of course, is debatable. However, it begs the question, just how much empathy do NT's have anyway?

The question shouldn't be, do people with AS empathize less, but, do NT's empathize more?

I do know there are a number of people who are horribly empathic, and the pain of or joy of another individual causes a strong parallel emotional response in them, however they are a minority, and I happen to know some people with HFA who are in that minority.

I've known a lot of NT's that empathise more. It was the reason I felt so different. I could never be a shoulder to cry on like one NT friend was. If someone was in distress I would freeze unlike another NT who would try to help that person. I do not talk through issues and try to show that I care but immediately offer solutions.
Sure they are some NT's that don't show it too. But I think they have more of a choice than us.

I feel and show more empathy than my family members, who all happen to be NTs.

personally think the theory that NTs have more empathy is bollocks. I am as AS as anyone else (in my opinion) but i have no problem taking in people's feelings - i just struggle to mirror them back or express my own

Let's begin first stating what a NT is:

Source

Mind you people flagged as neurotypical are a theoretical group of people which are nothing but a list of common characteristics, those people as a whole don't even exist.
Everyone has something according to this measurement, big or small.

To answer your question:


In theory they should be able too, in theory.

Cheerfully,
Wallourdes

i think NT's can see themselves from an outside perspective. Like when they interact with people, they have a better picture of how others are perceiving them and know what to say/how to hide certain emotions. And they can certainly recognize the emotional state of another more easily.

But if empathy is feeling what another person is feeling, there is no difference between aspies and NT's. Some NT's are actually less empathetic than many aspies, and have zero compassion for other people.

Does it mean that NTs actually feel more empathy tho? I'm not sure about that. Sure they know what to do to "show" empathy, but I've seen NTs bragging about how good they had been at helping someone, and while they were talking about it I didn't think they looked like they actually cared that much about the person.

They could or they could not, but because I am not one I have no idea.
But when they show it to me it seems pretty real. I'm good at knowing what people are like if I'm around them a lot.
I've got a few friends that just care so much about people. I usually end up befriending a lot of people like that, as well as the as*holes.

My dad was probably an Aspie and he was a very wounded person. He suffered from depression and was quite withdrawn, but he seemed to have quite a lot of empathy. He was just so wounded, he was scared or too dysfunctional to show it.

My mom and brother are another story. Their lack of empathy, especially towards me, borders on abusive. My mom seems to have ADHD and has no idea how her chaos drives others insane. She's too distracted by her own mini-crises to notice how other people feel. My brother probably has ADHD too, but not as bad, but he's also kind of a borderline personality. He thrives on drama and conflict, and everything has to be about him. He's good at lying, manipulating and projecting, and he tends to put on a "show" of empathy at times that I find hard to believe is sincere. He has never shown any real empathy towards me. He let one of my cats get out one evening a year ago, and the cat got hit by a car. I was devastated--I was literally on my knees, sobbing uncontrollably over his body. I couldn't sleep for days. Even a year later, things still don't feel right. And my brother thinks it's a joke. He acts like he understands how much it hurts, but it's clear from how he jokes about it, he doesn't a damn clue how I feel, nor has he ever taken responsibility for being the one who let my cat out that night. My beautiful cat gone, and he makes jokes about how nice a cap his fur would have made. Yeah. My brother's a f'ing bastard.

I definitely have more empathy than my mom and brother. And I would say, most NTs I've known.

Only The Great Mew can show his soul any mercy,
If I were The Great Mew, I just cannot say here
how his soul would suffer when his days on Earth
ended.

Yes for sure there is good people who really do care. I just meant that just because you have trouble expressing empathy doesn't mean that you can't feel it, and just because you can express/show empathy doesn't mean that you actually feel it, it just depends.

And when people don't feel or show empathy it doesn't mean they really don't care, sometimes personal issues are just too overwhelming to be able to feel empathy for another person at the same time. Example to illustrate what I mean: a guy slips on ice and breaks his leg, and it hurts really bad, well during this time he probably won't be capable to show any empathy to anyone because his own pain is overwhelming. Its an example using a physical pain, but it is similar when you have a psychological pain.

Very little.

Men or woman?

A generic and (obvious) look:

I find men( midwestern) are reserved, and systemizers. Don't show 'much', and by their cool comments I believe they don't nearly as much.
Add in non verbal deficits, and this could be more pronounced. Are AS men less empathatic? Could be .
If your focus is more on special interests and the world scene as a science, then one would/could be less in touch even more so.

-Women are empathizers and are mom like; more emotional/interested with other's pights.

AS (a signicant #)woman on this site have an interesting mix of systemizing with is. Maybe the systemizing could be construed as less.

So, you're less able to express empathy in a socially appropriate way. But that's not what actually feeling empathy is about. Why do you freeze? Why would you offer solutions if you didn't want to help them?

Emotional empathy (feeling for someone else) and cognitive empathy (doing socially acceptable things in response to someone's feelings) are completely different things. Empathy is supposed to mean the emotional one, but then people get called non/empathic based on their CE. Autists have difficulty doing socially acceptable things, so CE takes a hit along with everything else, but we don't have less EE than NTs.

Isn't this like asking a blind how many colors are in the rainbow? If I lack empathy, how can I hope to measure it in another?

I for one have a lot of empathy but very little sympathy.