What Are The Psychological Effects....

Post Reply New Topic

Of frequent geographical moves on an Aspie? Can it cause, or at least play a role in, attachment issues? Does it reduce the possibility of strong relationships with others or increase it? I know I have moved a lot in my life and am now afraid of bonding with, though not necessarily meeting, other people when I was good with it before. Is there any chance that my lack of a permanent home might have had something to do with this?

Well... I've moved three times in three years and each time I've moved I was glad to leave so I can't say I've had attachment issues. As for relationships I've had people I could call friends, but since I've never really had any "friends" I would say that breaking off contact with people I've come to know doesn't bother me very much and I had a permanent home for 27 years.

I think the bonding issues stems more from the fact that we who are on the spectrum tend to rather cautious about who we let in our lives due to past negative experiences.

I don't think the moving has that much effect. Its more important where you move to. If you end up in a place where the people are very friendly, it can actually be good for you. If not, it may increase the tendency to isolate oneself. On the average, though, people are no damn good and will hurt you and let you down at every opportunity, no matter where you live.

A couple of years ago, when my family was making frequent moves, I became bitter and withdrew very far into my imaginary world. I allowed my imagination to become stagnant during that time, because I felt like it was the only thing in my life that didn't have to change unless I wanted it to. So I didn't change it at all. When we eventually settled into the house we live in now, it took a very long time for me to allow my imagination to wander in new directions.

Though I must say that moving wasn't the only factor at play - we were also sharing houses with people I don't get along with, so that made me hate reality even more.

Ok, maybe the subject of "Moving kills" is a little dramatic. But I would have to look at it from my own analytical perspective on my history. Pardon me in advance for pulling out the shrink couch:

I moved frequently, and, no, neither parent was in the military. Until I was in 8th or 9th grade my parents would move almost on a yearly basis. I was constantly the new kid having to learn a new social structure and, in most parts, slang. For instance, going from the northern states to the southern. In 5th grade a teacher asked a student (Use heavy southern Alabama twang here) "Could you go over and crack the window?" I have always been very literal unless I knew the hidden meaning. I had to clarify why she was asking him to purposely break a window. This type of instance would happen over and over again and the other students didn't understand because they didn't know me; and as it turned out never would.

This set me up to be devoid of any childhood friendships and a frequent target of bullies. Few teachers "got a bead" on me because I was gone before anyone knew there was a problem.

Also my parents (ok really my father) thought the time to move was during the summer months (usually in August), about a month before school started. I have an early September birthday. Need I say more?

So no social network for someone who, if stationary, would normally have social issues and hatred of bright lights, loud noises, and weird tastes in food. Hmmm.

By the time I entered high school my "friendship building" skills were almost completely shut down; after all what is the point if you are just going to have to say goodbye in 9 months. I desired to be a ghost or chameleon, at least they don't get picked on and they can blend in unnoticed. It took me many post high school years and college to even have the desire to cause a ripple in the space-time continuum or to inanely and ineptly seek people for friendship.

LQQK.....getting up the couch in disgust.