A question for parents

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My best friend has a son, who's 18 months old. For a couple months now, I see that he has autism characteristics, than my mom now sees it. My best friend has no idea about parenting since this is her first child and she's really new to all this. So I wanted to ask a question to see if my assumptions are correct. I also have not said anything to my best friend I just wanted to ask questions first on here.

His name is Jimmy. He basically has his own language. He talks so perfect in this language, laughs and you can see he knows what he's saying. He has never actually said a word yet. He can't hear you a lot. He's terrified of loud noises. Sometimes he cries or yells for no reason. My best friend and her boyfriend always says he's bad and never listens. Cries and screams most of the day. Doesn't eat certain foods and certain foods he will put in his mouth and drop on the floor. He eats people food but most of the drinks breast milk. Though my best friend has been trying to get him off of it slowly. He's been walking since around 11 months old. He always takes off his socks, diaper, and pants. He hates having them on. He is very smart he sees you do something it's monkey see monkey do. He knows how to turn off the lights, put on the heat though he shouldn't be touching it, takes the plugs out of the outlet and so much more. I don't know but it's just a sense I am feeling he has some characteristics. What do you think, I'd like an opinions. You can ask any questions. I did post this on the regular autism spectrum forum but I thought this would be a great post for parents to answer too as well.

Thank you.

-Catherine

My friend had a son who had lots of autistic characteristics at 18 months and even up to age 3. However, he grew out of the traits and now is quite NT. I think 18 months is too early to start making assumptions on a diagnosis. Only time will tell. The characteristics you mention could all be typical, the ones I would be more attuned to would be any type of stimming or regression in language. The fact that he has communication, whether it's typical sounding or not, is very contrary to what I experienced with my own daughter.

All though I'm not a parent, I do suggest you wait a little long and watch the boy along his development. Young children can sometimes be wrongly diagnosed, at least in my opinion, because I believe we have a certain expectation on how children should develop. But I think children all start off in their own world until they realize the world around them. I say wait for a little while and see if he begins to develop the code of development before making assumptions.
I've worked with children before, so I think I have a sound enough reasoning to answer your concern.

There's nothing in what you are saying that is clearly indicative of the child being either typical or atypical. If you're concerned about the child having a "language of his own," this is a normal developmental stage. Many (most?) children go through a phase when they "speak" a language of their own. The question is not whether this is occurring, but whether this is normal for this stage/developmental level. There is no way for any of us to know that. Some children outgrow it at younger ages than others. Some children are speaking in sentences at 18 months of age, others are not yet saying words. This is still within the normal bounds, as I understand it. As far as listening, I don't know what your friend is expecting, but babies aren't exactly known for being obedient. If she and her boyfriend are expecting their son to "listen to" them, i.e. to obey them, they are in need of some serious parenting classes. Babies explore, they pull plugs out - which is why homes must be baby-proofed and babies must be watched closely. Babies are not being "bad" when they explore and touch things - they are being interested in their environment, which is what they are supposed to do. It is possible that this child is on the autism spectrum, but there is nothing that you have said that is particularly concerning. There are lots of things that could be "red flags," but nothing that is definitive.

Yeah it's just something that has crossed my mind. So I thought to ask yeah I think 18 months is too young. It's just certain things I noticed and there's a few other things but hey he's still a baby lots of things can change. That's why my options are kept open since you never know mostly since he has lots of room of growing to go.

I def will wait and see what happens.

Thanks for the replies.

I kept trying to tell them babies are exploring and learning at this age, but eh they don't get it. But I know what oyu mean.

Thanks.

-Catherine

I would actually be quite concerned that the child hasn't said a single word that is recognizable to others. Also, it sounds like you are describing some sensory integration issues with not wanting to wear diapers/socks etc (though, my 20 month old always takes her socks off, but It hink it's just for fun) and then not liking loud noises and still consuming mostly breastmilk (also possible sensory issues).
It's touchy to say something to a friend, so I don't know how I would approach it.. maybe in terms of the speech. BUt, if it were my child, I would be seeking out early intervention in my state for at the very least a speech evaluation.

My son who is 4 met all of his milestones and yet still had some red flags. I was told to wait it out and now I wish I had just done early intervention. His sensory issues showed up pretty early and could have been helped a lot through OT. Before age 3 you see best results for that... and certainly before age 5.

Your friend's child may be totally typical, but I would definitely get some kind of assessment. If you are in the US, you can get early intervention services without an actual diagnosis.

I think one of the biggest "tests" with kids like this is how they respond socially, which means probably waiting a couple more years to see what happens in this regard. If all of those things are still happening and they are encountering social problems, I'd be more inclined to think that.

The (kind of) funny thing is, when you know a lot about autism, you start seeing things in other kids a lot more - sometimes it is genuine autism, whereas other times it's good that you keep your mouth shut. An old friend was telling me yesterday about their child that I've only met once - 4 years old and just plays with trains all the time, can't share, makes up his own stories, have had to let him have his own train set . . . and I start thinking, "I know what that sounds like." Then she starts telling me about my other friend who has a baby boy who is getting looked into for having a head that is disproportionately bigger than the rest of his body and I think, the same thing. It's highly likely that neither will turn out to be autistic, so much better just to file it in the back of my head, unless of course they ask for your opinion directly.

I think I will just keep it all to myself right now and just see what happens. He's always biting her even to make blood appear and punching her for no reason. But I basically just told her to go to his doctor and see if there's something else going on but I didn't say something autism wise. So we will just see what happens.

I would bring up the speech thing with her. By 18 months it would concern me that he hasn't said any recognizable words. I wouldn't bring up anything else, but I would say something along the lines of "You know, Early Intervention gives free evaluations and therapy. Maybe you should have him checked out just to see if he qualifies."

I was surprised when my pediatrician recommended EI eval at 15 months for my son...it never occurred to me to worry about speech until around 2, honestly. He didn't qualify for services at 15 months, but was re-evaluated at 18 months (again on the rec of my pediatrician) and DID qualify then. He's 3 yrs 3 months now and has had speech therapy since a bit over 18 months. His speech has come a LONG LONG way and I'm grateful that my pediatrician was on top of it.

I totally agree with this.


On another side note... the hitting and biting is also a concern for a child who seems to be exhibiting other sensory issues, because those things can be sensory related as well. I'm thinking the speech thing is the easiest thing to bring up, but it really sounds like the child needs an OT evaluation. I'm obviously no professional, but as someone who went through having a child with visible sensory issues that everyone wanted to "wait and see" about... I just wish I would have gone with my gut.

It's very difficult for even pediatricians to discern what is developmentally appropriate vs. just a phase when it comes to a lot of things at 18 months. But, people who are specially trained to look at certain features of early childhood development can see when there might be a problem. Worst case scenario in getting an evaluation is that the child gets a little speech therapy or OT that they didn't need. A friend of mine whose son seemed to be losing language was assessed and got speech therapy at around 18 months... turned out it was mostly related to confidence and the child is way ahead in his speech at this point. The therapy stopped and that's it.... the schools never have to know... doctors don't even HAVE to know if there's some kind of concern there.

anyway, good luck in whatever you decide to do.