Help no one knows what Im talking about

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I have two sons one is getting help(transfered to different school) the other isnt.I have started an IEP at school to get help for 12 yr old..He is on the spectrum the school he attends doesnt have any help or idea what high funtioning autism is.Unless they are avoiding it.He has asked for help lots of times the teachers cant explain it so he understands then they tell him to figure it out well if he could I think he would have done that..My thing is he is very frustrated he talks with kids there but doesnt have friends at home..How do I get them to understand?I took him to the doctor he wanted to just give him meds...He wasnt sure what it is..He had all F at the beginning of the year.They modified his tests and his grades are coming up but he isnt learning how to do the work. So how is that helping him.
I have known my boys are on the spectrum for a long time,but when I bring it up at dr. they need more info.So the school did conners form.It doesnt tell much(stress and depression) are they avioding autism or what?Also if they dont know about autism how can they see anything?
He is isolating himself and is getting more frustrated which he saves for home like always..Any help would be great I cant watch my son fall apart anymore.

As a psychologist who works with children on the spectrum (and have two sons at home on the spectrum), I can tell you that the lack of help from school could be either their reluctance to complete the evaluative process to identify your child and qualify them for an IEP (which then becomes a federally mandated issue for the school), but could also be their mere lack of understanding of the spectrum itself. I have seen both numerous times. The fact that your physician (I am assuming pediatrician) is not doing much to follow up on this bothers me as well. My advice would be to make an appointment with a clinical psychologist in your area, preferably one that works with children on the spectrum (or at least has familiarity with the spectrum) and work toward having a complete developmental/psychological evaluation completed. Resulting diagnoses from that evaluation can then be taken to your physician and school officials with more "ammunition" to get appropriate services for your child. If a child has a diagnosed developmental or learning disability, they fall under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) which federally mandates that the school system provide appropriate services, or provide access to them for the child if they cannot provide them in the school system.

Hope this helps.

Sean

That sounds really tough. You don't say where you are, so I don't know what might be available to you, or even what your rights are. Sometimes, the city you're in just isn't helpful. Sometimes, it could be just a difference between one school and another. My 5 year old might be in a VERY different situation if the principal of his school didn't have a child on the spectrum. Just living on the other side of our street would have put us in a different school, where we know of someone who's child was, essentially, dismissed by the teacher in the first week (the parents think the child's on the spectrum, but have been having a hard time getting a diagnosis since they both work and can't spend as much time dealing with it). I can't imagine how bad it would be if the school wasn't understanding and helpful.

Thanks that is helpful and I have called his dr.and got a referal so hopefully this professional will be able to diagnose..he is really getting discouraged and doesnt want to go to school.....They dont have a clue how to help these kids what a shame how many more are there lost in school...