Feeling different

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I'm surprised there isn't already a topic on this. I've always wondered what other Aspies mean by ''always feel different''.
Personally, I don't really feel different, and I never have done. I've often felt left out, but it's still not the same as feeling different.
I'm like an NT with this - I always go by how other people feel about me, not by how I feel against other people. It might be because I get myself so involved with other people, and I get so attatched, and I seem to force myself to fit in. I suppose it's because no 2 people are the same, just like no 2 snowflakes are the same (or so I've read that every snowflake is a different shape or something). I've had some people who I could tell they judged me, but then again I've come across people who didn't see any difference in me at all, and included me just the same way as they would include anyone else. And lately I've got people asking for my phone number and wanting to meet me up outside of work, which proves that I'm fitting in and not being different.
Sometimes when I'm walking in the street I get people looking at me like I'm weird, and I often start judging myself and thinking, ''I must be weird if I get weird looks from strangers'', but then I still don't feel any different to anyone else walking in the street. Even my auntie once said that she saw me walking in a busy town from a distance, and she said I looked very cool like anyone else walking, and that compliment went a long way with me.
I had a few nasty comments thrown at me in my last year of school, like, ''you're weird!'' and ''everyone knows you have a problem!'' and so on, but that was only one person out of 300 people in my year group, and also that was only one year out of 11 years of school where I've had that said to me. I never got bullied otherwise in school, so that proves that I didn't stand out or be different to others. And other kids got bullied very bad through school, but I wasn't. And when I was a teenager I was put in some classes with some really bitchy kids who would pick on anybody who even showed a bit of difference, but they never picked on me. It was strange really. It might be because I made myself not feel any different to anyone else, so I had no other choice but to just fit in with others, even though it didn't always work out. But the important thing is I was never bullied.

But anyway, back to the topic - does anyone else feel his way, or is it just me? I have a friend who is on the spectrum, but when I'm with hm I find I get bored easily with his company. But when I'm with an NT friend, I don't feel a bit bored, and I get along OK, despite my social difficulties. I really don't get it. I have so many symptoms of AS, but I easily get along with NTs and just don't feel different to them. Some colleagues at work who are my age have even said that they love working with me, and they weren't just saying that to be nice, because they really mean it. They look really happy and pleased to see me, and I can tell they love my company. But sometimes it can depend on who I'm with. If I'm with a crowd of rowdy youngsters who are confident and are party-lovers, then I will feel uncomfortable and just not their type. But when I'm just with general people at work, I feel pretty much the same.

i understand what you mean , but i feel different. before i had ever heard of AS, i had figured it out already. How long can a person go on thinking "everyone is different from me" before doing the maths ?

Yes I've always felt different.

I remember in primary school all the kids would do the "fake smile" when passing each other / me in the corridors in school. I thought it was bizarre and couldn't understand why anybody would want to force a smile. Only recently did I understand that this was related to Theory of Mind, and the NT tendency to be dishonest to please others.

I remember how the other kids would get embarrassed over all kinds of little things. I thought it was bizarre that their faces would go red like that, but it took almost 20 years for me to figure out the complex ToM-related patterns of thinking needed for that behavior.

Later in high school I realized I didn't enjoy small-talk, it seemed so pointless. I got kicks out of learning instead, and eventually that's all I wanted to do; I seen my friends less and less and spent more and more time sat in a room learning about whatever I fancied at that moment.

The examples go on and on. In my case it was things like this that always made me feel different.

I've always been acutely aware that I was different from other people. When I was a toddler, I noticed that other children played together and that I had no interest in this. I figured they were the different ones and that my preferences were the only ones that made sense. When I was eight it really hit me that I was the different one.

I am a different species and can't work out these humans. I'm going to have to ask my wise ancestors the cats about them.
Although when I was younger I didn't think I was different. I didn't think about those things. People were just buildings that moved and made a lot of noise. And they didn't like it when I went off on walks on my own, yet they wanted me to exercise. Then they wanted me to communicate with these other buildings, closer to my height but I don't know how to speak building.

always felt I differed from everyone else around me. Over time I learned that a lot of things that I was experiencing, no one I knew could Understand. I never felt as if anyone shared my feelings for anything, or shared my perceptions on life. I always though everyone was stupider than i was for some reason and in some ways I am right. People focus on the most pointless things, I only think about how I'm gonna get by in the upcoming months. I've Come to the conclusion that I am not different, but it's the rest of the world that is abnormal. I honestly sometimes think I'm probably one of the few straight up honest real people in the world.

When I'm around other people, especially other males around my age, I feel completely different and ackward. If I'm around them for long enough, like having to work long shifts at work, I get really depressed, because of just how different I feel.

Although, if I am around older females, who I tend to get on better with, I feel less different. Especially if they are a little odd themselves. In fact, most of my friends are females, who are a little unusual. I wonder if this is because females are generally more mature than males, and seem more willing to engage in serious conversation? Not always of course, some are shallow and only care about reality TV.

When I am in my room alone I don't feel different at all. I wish I could take this feeling outside with me and learn to be happy with who I am.

I have felt different since I was a kid. I just can't understand other people at all. They never make any sense.

I feel different from other people, and I've always have. The difference is, that I've always felt different in a positive way.

Sometimes I can feel different, depending on the circumstances, environment, company, or mood. But that applies to anyone really.
Surprising fact: not all NTs like parties, especially as they get older. So if a non-party NT was at a party and didn't know anyone, he/she would probably feel different in the environment.

I feel different and people detect that I'm different. But I like being different.

Feel? It has nothing to do with feeling; I've always known that I was different. It was a simple matter of observing the behaviour of people, drawing inferences, and noting the fact that people were behaviourally different and probably thought differently to me.

I feel alone, which is usually pleasant but sometimes sad, and I feel like I'm nothing like other people and don't belong with them. That usually feels fine, pretty average, sometimes good. Sometimes, though, I feel like I'm an impostor and I hope other people don't discover it. Like, I'm just faking it whenever I interact with them. I don't really know what I'm doing.

Then I remember that anyone who's judging me based on that deserves to be lied to. The people worth keeping in my life don't care.