AS and crushes

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I remember reading somewhere that people with AS (or other spectrum disorders) tend to have fewer crushes/do not fall in love as easily as NTs. Do you think that's true?

I find that with myself, it is true. But on the rare occasions that I do have a crush, I get way too obsessed, way too fast.

Probably true for some, but definitely not for me. I've always developed crushes pretty easily. I try not to let it show, and wait till it blows over. It's a bit annoying to have a crush on someone, it wastes time and energy and it distracts you from what you are trying to do.

This.

Someone started another thread about whether you categorise people when you first meet them as to romantic "Potentials" and "Nos". I don't really do that, so I don't tend to meet lots of people that I fancy.

But when I do start to fancy someone, I do get a bit too obsessed, too fast.

It's tricky, being female. Because in the NT world if a guy chats a woman up, apparently she's supposed to play hard to get and pretend she doesn't like him, even if she does. I've found that guys really don't like it if they chat you up and you respond positively, along the lines of hey, yeah, I like you too. Because then they run a mile.

I can't understand why men chat women up if they apparently don't want a positive response, they just want women to play hard to get and to make them chase them. Baffling. That's happened a couple of times, even in the past year alone. And loads of times over the years.

If I responded negatively, it wouldn't mean I was playing hard to get, it would mean that I wasn't actually interested. If I was interested, I'd say so and not play games.

I had crushes all the time on people at school and currently do in college now. Lots of gorgeous girls there.... I just know I won't get anywhere with it because of my extreme anxiety and social impossibilities. Nice to imagine though.

If anything, the opposite is true for me.

I think the game of "hard to get" are one of the stupidest things in society. I don't know what it is about so many people... this mentality of "things are going too smoothly... I hate that, so I need to throw a problem in". If a woman responds positively, that's perfect to me. If a woman behaves as if she's annoyed or not interested, I move on. Because it could mean one of two things: Either she's not into me and could possibly think I'm harassing her, or she's just playing this "hard to get" nonsense, and is therefore too much of a dishonest, mindscrewing pain in the ass to be worth bothering with.

+1000000. I cannot stress how stupid those NT mindgames are.

I can't imagine there's a strong correlation, just extrapolating from my own experience and that of men with AS that I know. I had countless crushes in secondary school. I knew someone with AS who at age sixteen asked out (and was turned down by) over 50 girls in the space of a couple of weeks. At this point I wouldn't say I have "crushes" so much as I am mainly attracted to young women in general.

The "hard to get game" is one I've failed repeatedly. It's very frustrating. After years of saying to myself " Where's the rule book"? I saw a book titled "The Rules" and yes, that's what it was all about.

I say that, at the beginning of every date, you say, right from the start, "cut the bulls**t games with this, let's just talk." You'll find that the girls who stay after this are the ones worth being interested in

f**k no. I always have a "crush" on someone. Drives me mad. The only time (in recent memory) that I haven't had one was for a while after my friend died a few years ago. Other than that, I always like someone. I definitely wish I didn't though.

I nearly always have someone as the focus of my attentions, I wish I didn't though, it's irritating as most either are already in a relationship or are soon after.

I don't think this is true. It likely varies between people due to their personalities.

I don't know if it true for most aspies, but it is false for me.

I started having intense crushes on girls starting at about the age of 12 and it has only really stopped in the past couple of years at the age of 43 or so. It would have been nice if I could have been the other sort of Aspie who can't be bothered with relationships.