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I was diagnosed with AS for the first time in jan. 2006, for the 2nd time in dec. 2009, and for the 3rd time in july 2010. my stepmom took me shortly after the first time she met me. she thought it was odd that i didn;t have any friends and didn't want any-but she wanted me to have them anyways. I live in st. Louis,mo. I'm 22 years old and have almost all of the symptoms you can think of that people with AS wold have-except the rocking thing- i don't do that but i do click my pen way too much to where it annoys others. my psychiatrist-whatever you call them, i see her for reasons not related to AS-she diagnosed me the 2nd time with it (didnt do tests or anything, just reconfirmed the first diagnosis) and she told me to get behavioral therapy. there is touchpoint autism service here that used to be called judevine. i tried last winter and the year before that to get on medicade-the last 5 yrs. i also had major depression. i've been fine since march 2010. they said i was disabled but not disabled enough to not be able to work so both times i was denied. i only make about one thousand a month working as a pool attendant at a hotel-w/ a bunch of customer service . but with bills and rent and stuff i dont really have a lot of money left over to do therapy-it's currently $85 an hour. right now all i could afford would be 4 hours a month. that's basically nothing. touchpoint offers communication therapy-which i NEED for help with for work issues. my boss has noticed something is odd about me but doesn't know exactly what it is.

i'm on my 10th job in 4 1/2 years since i first started working. i've been fired from 3 lifeguarding jobs for not getting along with people (my boss at all these jobs knew i have AS but i dont think they fully understood what it meant or maybe they would have been a little more leanyent with me), i taught swim lessons at 3 different pools but i hated teaching so i quit all of those, and i quit 3 guarding jobs because of low pay, and at one job; well im always super strict with rules but i didnt want everyone at work to hate me for being so strict at the time like usual so i kind of bent the rules-which is SO unlike me to do that-and let kids do flips off the diving board...anyways i kid almost slammed his head on the board and ended up slipping and falling off it and hit the pavement, broke 2 bones in his right arm and also dislocated his right shoulder. i try to be nice so people don't get POd at me and look what happens...

im a picky eater=[ for being a guy i hate most meat. i dont eat steak, porkchops, or anything like that. mainly chicken, hamburger, ham, turkey, bacon, pepperoni, and itialian susage. i eat bannannas and i used to eat kiwis. apples are too hard. peanuts (cashews) and tacos are the only thing crunchy i will eat. i hate hot food. warm is ok. i don't like red cap milk or the chocolate milk that comes in a gallon at the store. it's way too thick.

i can be clumsy. my sister would always make fun of me for falling up the stairs. i hate the job i have now. its easy and good money but too many interactions with people and my boss REFUSES to give me a set schedule and i forever hate her for that. my schedule is always changing because of this. i read at the level of someone with a PHD. I write at a senior yr. in college level-technically i should be graduating this year but i took 2 years off after H.S. so im still a sophomore. i've been back at school since jan. of 2010-including summer-and have a 3.7 gpa for the current semester and a 2.1 cummulative. i started with a 0.66 gpa. jan. 2010.-a bunch of withdrawls and Fs. when i was 10 i wrote at the 6th grade level and had a reading comprehension of a freshman in H.S. when i was 10 i also had photographic memory. it worked for book reports and having to study for class. this ability went away by the time i hit high school=[ i wish i still had it now. it'd make college so much easier for me.

if something is moved in my room i will know immediatley when i open the door. i take things very literally. most of the time i can't figure out jokes. i don't understand irony. for senior yr. H.S. we had to do a paper on irony for our english final. i didn't do the paper because as many times as my teacher explained it to me i still didnt/still don't understand what irony was/is. i flunked that semester of english.

that's all i did when i was little was read books, played with legos, do models of car, and way too many puzzles. my record is 1 hr. 57 min. 37 sec. for a 1,00 piece puzzle. that was when i was 11. (on the wais 3-took it july '10-the one where you have to pick 2 puzzle peices and make them connect with a 3rd piece-and you have to do it all in your head- i got a 100 on that. apparently a 50 is average. my vocab. score sucked. it was a 30. i had a 95 on the block test. did horrible on similarities. my overall IQ was a 98=[ wish it was higher).

all throughout elementry school my teachers always said the same thing on my report card: very bright kid, poor math skills- i found out this past july i have a severe LD in math(i'm at a 3rd grade math level. not proud of that either)-no wonder i can't pass elementry algebra after taking it 4 times so far. and it took me 10 months just to learn how to solve X+5=9). They also said i couldn't seem to make friends, and i had poor handwriting-which i still do. sometimes i can't even read it myself.

touchpoint also have sensory integration/OT- im not sure what OT is but i have major issues with SI- i DO NOT allow someone to touch me-no hugs, no kisses, no nothing. absolutley not. i hate it. (whether the whole touch thing is AS related im not sure since i was physically abused by my dad from 7-19 yrs. old) and being touched feels weird too. NO JEANS-there too stiff. i dont like long sleeve shirts- i hate how they feel on my forearms. i used to wear hoodies-not so much anymore. i hate the material sweaters are made out of so i don't wear those. i hate elastic-it irritate my skin; i think i may even be allergic to it. i hate tags. silk-screened t-shirts-i don't like the way the front of the shirts feel against my chest-not the cloth part but the backing part of the picture thats on the shirt. that part irritates me. buttons are ok. velcro is for shoes. i LOVE fleece. that's basically the only type of pants i'll wear-fleece, cargo pants, and mesh pants. that's it. i hate tight fitting clothing. all my clothes have to be loose. i dont like zippers.

sorry for the language but if someone pisses me off i'll yell at them and if they did a wonderful job at it i'll end up crying like a little kid. i HATE pain-no needles. if i was sick or i got hurt i never told anyone-and my stepmom would get mad at me for doing this but i didnt see a problem with it. growing up i hated my dad always making me go outside and play. i didnt have friends and didnt want them. and i dont really want any now. like i do but everyone my age is too immature. all they wanna do is get drunk and i dont do that kind of stuff. i still hate talking to people-even my best friend.

i think my dad has pdd-nos. he has a lot of AS traits but he is fine socially. he's like me. a lot. we both want something done exactly the way it's supposed to be but sometimes he wants it done one way and i want it the other way and it's all downhill from there. if i got my way he'd yell at me and then slap me upside the head. if he would get his way he'll just yell at me more. he's good at math and science. the only math and science im good at is geometry, trig=], and chemistry=]. you can pay all the money in the world but my dad with never go get diagnosed for pdd-nos. i never once saw him cry. even when his mom died when i was 7. i moved out of my dad's place about 3 years ago and am never going back. and i don't go visiting him either.

when i was first diagnosed with AS i asked my dad why they didn't catch it earlier-especially because i have bascaily all the traits of it-except maybe 2 or 3 of them. and why they didn't catch my math LD earlier when i was little. he said i was tested for LDs and AS and everything else when i was 8. i don't believe him about that.

Anyways, touchpoint also said something about a place called the regional center. TP also said that for me to get any services for AS i would have had to have a diagnosis by the time i was 18. i was 17 for my first diagnosis. the guy asked me some questions and gave me a form to fill out and then told me i had AS and that i didnt need to tell school. (the person for my 2nd diagnosis also said i didnt need to tell work or school...). the thing is i don't know who i saw for the first diagnosis. my doc. has no records of me being diagnosed, my insurance company for some reason doesn't have the records either. my stepmom doesn't remember the name of the person.

touchpoint also offers ABA therapy and residential services- not sure if i need those. i have a roomate through a friend. i used to live on my own for a couple years. i hated living by myself though.

does anyone know of any places that help with funding???
i'd do it here but since i don't remember the guy i saw for the first diagnosis and my insurance company says they have no records of me seeing someone to get a diagnosis, i have no proof i even did a diagnosis of AS before i was 18. and unless i can find out who it was im screwed in getting fudning. unless medicade would let me on but i highly doubt that's gonna happen. i tried last year and the year before. why would applying this year be any different?

p.s. and i LOVE animals=] when i can, i currently volunteer at a animal shelter and i play with the dogs. they make me happy when im pissed and having a bad day.

What is "odd" about you is that you are not like him/her in much the same way that a Chinese village is not like a Ukrainian village even though they are both villages, both have houses, both have farms, and both tend to be poor. People do much the same thing everywhere and go about doing those same things entirely differently...yet in still much the same way.




An example of an ironic situation:

Jill used to get into a lot of trouble when she was younger and went before the same judge frequently, who threatened to throw her in jail. Years later, Jill meets a nice man named Derek and they decide to marry. Before the wedding, Jill meets Derek's father, who turns out to be the judge who threatened to throw her in jail.

Here is the irony breakdown:
At time 1, Jill's relation to Derek's father was A
At time 2, Jill's relation to Derek's father was B
Their paths spontaneously crossed twice, and each time they had a different relation to one another.

So in this sense, the irony comes from the spontaneous relationship shift between two individuals.

Another example:
"The British watchdog Environmental Agency, which prosecutes pollution violators, was fined the equivalent of nearly $14,000 in May for allowing toxic waste to flow from its monitoring station along the River Exe in Somerset."

Here is the irony breakdown:
The EA set up a monitoring site to serve agenda A, environmental protection.
Their purpose, and only reason for existing was environmental protection.
However, they performed action B, letting waste flow into a river from the monitoring site.
Their action, B, contradicted their agenda, and purpose, A.
They defeated the purpose of their own existence in an unexpected manner.

That is considered ironic.

Anyway, to improve your situation, you've already taken the first step. You are aware of what your problems As far as improving yourself, you can start with one thing and work on it. If you know you have a problem with eye contact, practice forcing yourself to make eye contact, at least when you greet people. If you know you mis nonverbal cues easily, in one on one conversations, be vigilant for them. If you know you go on about special interests, realize, most people probably don't care to hear you go on about them by more than a topical degree. Introduce pauses in the conversation to give the other individual the chance to talk. If they change the subject, they have probably heard all they care to know at the time about your special interest. If you have trouble with communication at work, see if you can identify a pattern. Bosses usually expect employs to communicate certain work related things. If you find yourself wondering how to go about a particular work related task, rather than guess, most bosses will expect you to ask how to go about it. If you have an upcoming schedule conflict, most bosses need to know about this in advance. Basically, in a work situation, you have a particular job to do and bosses generally expect open channels of communications on anything that might affect your ability to get the job done.

For example, when I worked my stock job, we had to improvise schedules on occasion if the delivery truck was late. If the truck was going to come at the time I would normally take my break, I would alert the boss of this ahead of time and ask if I should take the break sooner. If I was told to get a box that was too high and heavy for me to safely retrieve, I was expected to communicate this to my boss or at least one of the other workers. However, communication is a two way street, and there are bad bosses who don't have good communication skills.

One of the key's to minimizing certain AS traits is to realize that people, in general, expect you to communicate with them. Another key is realizing that sometimes it's your job to "break the ice" in a social situation. And yet another key is that conversations should be like taking turns in a game. You talk, they listen, and then they get to talk, and you listen.

I'm sorry. It sounds like life is hard right now.

There are several good books that are written for young adults with AS. Go to Michelle Garcia-Winner's website. www.socialthinking.com She works with children and adults too and has recommended many good books on her site. I don't remember all of the names of them, but I did attend her conference this year and she has a knack for explaining how to "blend" in a concrete way that is easy to understand.

I like to think of AS as a challenge similar to living in another culture. My husband is from a different country and whenever we go there I end up offending someone, trying very hard to understand what I am expected to do and not do all day, struggling to understand the language, feeling overwhelmed with all of the changes and being ready to fall into bed at about 6pm due to pure exhaustion from all of the aforementioned. Even if I moved there, I expect that I would eventually learn how to blend in but wouldn't ever feel completely comfortable with all of the things expected of me. Obviously the challenges of AS are far greater than that because when one doesn't have the wiring to instinctually figure out the social norms, they need to be studied and memorized and navigating the social world becomes a trial and error process.

And that is where community comes in! Even though you are comfortable not having friends, it's good that you are here. Find the kind of community that works for you and get support. Is there an autism society that is local to your state? Maybe they can suggest some kind of support.