I wonder if it's easier for aspies to get along on the net..

Page 1 of 2 [ 29 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Absolute_Zero
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Dec 2004
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 643
Location: New Brunswick, Canada

05 Jan 2005, 12:50 pm

I wonder if it's easier for aspies to get along on the net better than in person.
If I come across shy, quiet, eccentric people in real life I don't mix well with them at all. I can actually be quite cold around them. However I have met some people over the internet first and then in real life who are somewhat like me.

I pretty much like to be around alot of loud, outspoken people alot. I find it easier because they always encourage me and talk to me. This is especially true for women. I can listen to some of them talk and talk and they are so happy that I listen so well.



car_crash
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2004
Gender: Male
Posts: 185
Location: lincoln,uk

05 Jan 2005, 1:09 pm

definitely in my experience. i must have at least 5 closeish friends on the net whereas in real life that number drops to 0



Mel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Dec 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 616
Location: Yorkshire, UK

05 Jan 2005, 1:59 pm

Yes I think it can be- I hate having to be near people and try and make conversation in real life but online its no where near as hard (although I still worry that I'm boring people).

Mel


_________________
Crush your intolerance, your stinking abhorrenceOf pleasures and laughter and lifeThe essence of life is to share our delightsDrink it down for there?s more still to come


Bobcat
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 8 Dec 2004
Gender: Male
Posts: 131

05 Jan 2005, 4:36 pm

Yes, but it isn't real. I have to remind myself that living person to living person is real. Here we have layers of protection and simple rules to follow. I like it too. But what I want is live interaction with other aspies and people on the spectrum. I'm at an age where I want to give after many years of taking.

Mike



Astro
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jan 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 64

05 Jan 2005, 4:40 pm

I've found that most shy people interact far better via written word. I think it allows our true inner selves to be revealed.

When I was growing up (and I guess often now, at 40) I always wished people could see me as I knew I was, not as the introvert I portrayed in the public space.

A follow-up question - how many of you are really good letter writers? I used to write beautiful, long letters to my girlfriend when I traveled. It was almost like the words just flowed onto the page with no input from me. I knew I was never capable of speaking those words, so it always surprised me to see what I was writing. Looking back on it, it appears that I was in a state of "flow".

Of course, now that I'm posting these messages, my writing is back to being totally mundane...



macvincent
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2004
Gender: Male
Posts: 80

05 Jan 2005, 5:15 pm

Though I get a tad nervous about boring people to death online, I still find it a lot easier to communicate with someone here.



animallover
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 759

05 Jan 2005, 11:51 pm

I think it is much easier to communicate online - in fact I communicate with people that I see in person via the internet very effectively . . .
There are no cues to figure out - just words . . .



car_crash
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2004
Gender: Male
Posts: 185
Location: lincoln,uk

06 Jan 2005, 11:09 am

Bobcat wrote:
Yes, but it isn't real. I have to remind myself that living person to living person is real. Here we have layers of protection and simple rules to follow. I like it too. But what I want is live interaction with other aspies and people on the spectrum. I'm at an age where I want to give after many years of taking.

Mike


the internet is real though. its not a figment of peoples imaginations. i read somewhere recently that 16-24 year olds spend 80% of their social time on the internet. i spend 100% so i'm really not that far from the norm



Catffienated
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 2 Aug 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 299
Location: Virginia Beach, VA, USA

06 Jan 2005, 11:21 am

I think it is as real as anything else. They're real people on the net, aren't they? I find the net a LOT easier to communicate with. In fact, it's funny, I could get along with this one girl on the net who went to my middle school, but couldn't get along with her in person!


_________________
Shadow Of Somebody
~~~~~~~~~~
Autism is a sanctuary and a prison- Donna Williams


iamlucille
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 648

06 Jan 2005, 3:09 pm

believe me, the internet has helped me with a lot. but, in my opinion, there's nothing like real people you get to talk to and spend time with. it's a great deal more fun, for me at least. and in the real world, you know everyone is legit. you know that the hot guy you just met isn't really an 80 year old trying to stalk you.

i personally enjoy the real world a lot more. the people can suck, but they can also be amazing. and there's nothing like sitting together and chatting up a storm. or maybe partying. or loving another person. whatever the case is, i strive for real relationships, even though i do enjoy AIM and talking online because more can come out of words than speech. it's a well known fact. still though, i'm gonna strive to spend less time on the computer and more time out there having fun. but that's just me.



Mel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Dec 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 616
Location: Yorkshire, UK

06 Jan 2005, 3:38 pm

I think it can be more real than so called real life interactions- I can completely be myself online. In real life I am constantly worrying about what expectations the other person has of me, and unless I know someone incredibly well I am not myself with them at all.


_________________
Crush your intolerance, your stinking abhorrenceOf pleasures and laughter and lifeThe essence of life is to share our delightsDrink it down for there?s more still to come


dce
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jan 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 28

06 Jan 2005, 3:43 pm

I also think that internet communication is real. To a degree I find it easier. I still see areas that multiple people can see my thoughts as group situations and can get a little freaked by it.

Communicating with Email is real but for me very limiting. My thoughts fragment very easily when I write them. It can be very hard for me to keep a sentence with less than 2 thought proccesses sometimes. Instant messanging I can stream my thoughts closer to the rate my brain wants to so I feel I can express myself better. Whether I really can or not is up to debate.

The downside to communicating online is also an benifit for me. Comunication online does have less non verbal components. Which can make it easier to understand the words. But unfortunately words are sometimes the least important part of the comunication for people. I wish it wasn't the case. I think that when people say that online communication isn't real it is because of that fact. It is also easy for somepeople to not associate the words as actually feeling of people on the other side of the screen. Sigh sorry it seems to be not making as much sense now.



vetivert
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Sep 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,768

06 Jan 2005, 3:59 pm

makes sense to me, dce.



Tally
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 2004
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 276

06 Jan 2005, 4:39 pm

I find it easier, because all you have to go on is the words on the page. You don't have to watch for body language or tone of voice. I find it easier to understand what is going on.

Also, I don't hear properly, so having it written down makes it easier for me in that sense too.

I think that online communication is real, because there are real people, and you can have real conversations with them. Sometimes you can actually be more open.



ub3r
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 12 Dec 2004
Gender: Male
Posts: 50

06 Jan 2005, 9:13 pm

Easier for me too, I have time to think of topics and replies and reword my sentences.



Bobcat
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 8 Dec 2004
Gender: Male
Posts: 131

06 Jan 2005, 9:41 pm

I hear you, and respect all the views. I just disagree. I was at a live in-person meeting of autism spectrum people a few weeks ago and it was a world of a different experience. Each of us was 'naked' (figuratively), I saw myself in some of them. I like it here too, only it's like sending a letter to someone instead of paying them a visit. The meaning of 'real' is the crux I think. Take care.