Help me find an appropriate/obscure way to deal with this.

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My son is in the 3rd grade. He has a pretty good teacher that has a special ed background. About mid-way last year he began to get angry when the other kids would bump or brush his desk. He knows it is by accident, but it really bothers him. He also would get annoyed at his brother and sisters when they would hold onto his chair in the middle row when they would get into the back row of our SUV. This was a new annoyance of his. Most of the time he has fixed this by being last in the car and not watching them get in so he doesn't know if they touched his chair on not. This school year he was doing pretty good and stayed with his desk grouped with others, until Nov.. He has now started getting annoyed again when others bump into his desk or brush by his desk. His desk is now not grouped with others by his choice, but with rooms being so small, his desk does get brushed with kids going to the teacher's desk, the bathroom, the pencil sharpner, etc. His solution to this is to go and touch their desk back. They usually don't care and he isn't loud about it, it just makes him feel better. The only answer he can give us as to why this bothers him is just that it makes him feel angry. Logically he knows it is silly. The teacher is trying to come up with something he can do when this happens that will make him feel better, but without being as distracting as him getting out of his chair and going to the other student's desk, plus maybe be something the other kid's don't notice so he doesn't stick out. We have tried stress balls, he doesn't use them or like them. Any other ideas?

Is it possible he has OCD?

This sounds like a precursor to OCD.

The brush/bump likely creates a sensation of unevenness in his mind and he goes and touches their desk to balance it out.

Take him to be seen by someone who specializes in OCD in children, and who specializes in doing CBT with children. Personally I think CBT is a better choice over medication when it's possible to be done (the child acknowledges the OCD and is receptive to the CBT) because the medication can make children and teenagers emotionally unstable, and doesn't always work better than CBT when CBT is done properly.

Maybe a toy desk on his desk to touch?

I can really relate to that, I always had to have a sense of evenness. I guess I still do at times. Which means a viable solution will be anything that can effectively mimic the sensation of evenness. Maybe a doll desk he can bump whenever his desk gets bumped? Getting a good substitute might take some experimentation.

I guess I have some minor OCD things but they don't really interfere with my life. How far one goes to deal with them will depend on how far they interfere. If it stays at a low level, I wouldn't worry about it. Much will be outgrown. But how does one know when it's something that might accelerate and needs to be nipped, v. when it's just part of growing up quirky?

I too thought OCD. So far, this is the only thing that seems to fall into that category. He tends to fall in the scattered, unorganized side of AS. The inside of his desk looks like a tornado hit it. When it started last year, he said it was germs that bothered him, but I didn't really believe him as he will sneak drinks after everyone and never cares about germs in any other situation. I think he said that to make it more acceptable. He finally just says it bothers him and makes his brain feel angry, which I get. The teacher even said she gets it, she just would like to find an alternative outlet for him. It would be nice to have a little more info on exactly what about it bothers him. It seems to be territorial as it has only manifested with his desk, his chair, and at one point, he was annoyed if his brothers sat on his bed, but that hasn't been mentioned in awhile. In the car, it was always more of an issue when he was having a bad sensory day too, so my gut doesn't feel OCD at this point.

I'm not OCD, but there are things I get funny about. For me, it all has to do things feeling the way they are supposed to feel; sensory. I think the desk push could fall into the category: it creates a motion. When you even it out, things feel right again.

Totally separate from organization; I am horribly unorganized.

both my oldest and youngest sons have issues with being bumped, and to be quite honest, so do i! it drives me up the wall when my youngest hangs or leans onto the arm of my computer chair and jostles me around. he does it due to sensory issues, but it sets off my own as well.

ive been looking for giant invisible bubbles. i'd like to get one for each of us. cant find a store that sells them tho.

for me personally and at least one of my sons, some of it is a control issue. this is my space, i am set up perfectly in my space where i want to be, and you come along and bump me, and now i am all out of whack. i lose control of my own self in my own space. thats not cool.

the angry brain description is probably because thats just the way he interprets it. he doesnt understand the why, he just knows how it makes him feel. a lot of experimentation is in order to try and figure out how to alleviate the feelings it causes, even if you dont understand why it causes them.

for your child, that bump may feel like someone just yanked his desk in one direction, and now hes all out of whack. there are a few different things he could try to fix it. if it made him feel like they pushed his desk in one direction, have him scoot it in the other to regain balance. if they touched the right side, have him touch the left. if he feels he was pushed backwards, have him move his desk a tiny bit forward.

sometimes its not really about actual movement, but the perceived sameness and balance that previous posters talked about. its about eating two MnMs of the same color at a time, or 4 peanuts and chewing 2 on each side of your mouth. its two macaroni noodles per bite, making sure that first bite of a sandwich is directly in the center.

be sure to try alternatives that focus not just on the desk, but on his person as well. a quick and simple meditation exercise may help, where he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath in and out, hands and feet in symmetrical positions, and relaxes his body in a perfectly balanced position on his chair.

i think my own personal brand of crazy is starting to show a bit.

I think there is a small but devoted following to this brand (I have a whole entire M&M eating system, which brings me a silly sort of joy - not really to do with color...but did you know that every f&^0% bag of M&Ms is an odd number? I do.)

I don't have an answer - DS has a real issue with lines on the floor, "equalness" he calls it (or, more likely "mooom! You KNOW!") but most of the time it isn't mandatory for either him or me - it's just sort of soothing. I take this to mean we pick our battles; it's not interfering with our lives right now, so it's something we ignore. If it interfered with school, that would be a different matter. We did have a really, really difficult time with the lines thing in 3rd grade.

Is it possible to move his desk so it isn't where the other kids touch it? Seems like that might be the simplest solution.

GREAT IDEA! I'm going to use this!

His desk is positioned in the classroom so that the teacher can more easily get his attention. Also, when she teaches on the overhead projector, he reads it off the computer screen behind her as he tends to not follow along but work ahead when he sits at his desk. It was causing him to miss out on some information, so this was a solution to get him to quit missing the directions and getting papers wrong when he knew the material. Since his desk is near hers, it can get bumped easily by students walking to her desk. I think moving him will cause additional problems in other areas. We may try a small desk and see if that helps. Thanks!