Body Dysmorphia

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Any other sufferers around? I don't hear much about this in relation to Asperger's. I really just want to know if you're out there or not. Cheers.

if you mean BDD than i have it and i think there's already a topic for this.

I've felt like my breasts and uterus were someone else's and not mine or that they shouldn't be there. I'm getting my uterus removed tomorrow because my periods don't stop. I wish I could have my breasts removed. I remember feeling as if I was born the wrong sex as young as three but I think not having very many female role models and people forcing femine sterotypes on me played a part as well because I started to feel more comfortable being a girl when my parents finnaly accepted I was a tomboy. I only wanted to be a boy so I didn't have to wear dresses to church. When I needed to wear a bra and started having periods, the feeling of wanting to be male came back. It's a good thing I didn't know periods could be stoped by not eating or else I would have developed anerexia to make myself stop menstrating. I felt more like I was born the wrong species than I ever felt I was born in the wrong body. I felt I was supposed to be a dog or cat or something.

To a degree I have it, though its mostly full blown anorexia.

I've always had BDD to some degree, figuring I was fat when I was BMI 17. I actually have gained a little weight lately, but my actual weight makes little different to my mental state. I don't see why my parents wont buy a scale so we can have objective, quantitative measures of our weights

I find it a little hard to say whether I have BDD but I always feel fat even when other people say I'm not... I suppose objectively I'm not overweight; my BMI is 22, which isn't skinny, but it's not obese like I feel like I am... I've suffered from bulimia in the past, I still struggle with food and things these days though not as much.

I think aspies are more likely to have BDD than the general population. I think there are several reasons for this, in my case it is
1. blaming my social problems on how i look.
2. trying to compensate for social or personality deficits by wanting to look better.
3. focusing on looks as its easier to deal with (or distracting from) than personality deficits.
4. likeing symatory (lining things up) so not liking the lack of symatory in onesself.
5. being literal so taking messages from the media literally and so having no tollerance for normal flaws (such as moles, hair, stretch marks, acne scars etc).

My feelings lead me to spend too much (pointless/futile) time and money on beauty products and hair removal, funny diet and exercise.

It has been silly of me to focus so much on how I look and feel so bad about it, as family and lovers would much rather a person was secure in how they look. Ive found people are not sympathetic about accomadating my exercise or beauty regime and excessive time getting ready as i cast away each item in my waldrobe in despair as it makes me look more hideous than the item before. I only have a bathroom mirror in the house as if I see myself i feel so distressed.

Its very horrible and as I get older it gets worse as my face is getting really wrinkly, it was bad enough haveing horrid acne scars without now haveing wrinkles, and its only going to get worse. People are not sympathetic though and tend to just react crossly to my worries/routines.

Ive had periods in my life when ive been better and more relaxed about how I look, but when I get stressed or somethign goes wrong, especially if Im rejected or criticised then I go straight back to excessive routines and rituals. I do feel better about myself than I did when I was younger though I look at lot worse, if I knew when I was 20 that I would be this fat and still spotty, I probably would have topped mysself lol. Lucky I didnt know as looking crap is quite bearable as it turns out, and is better than being dead.

I think that's absolutely right... I've never felt pretty but looking back now it's very easy for me to see how I could feel like an outcast, look in the mirror and start picking out all the visual reasons that could be stopping me from making friends. I've also discovered that I look quite pretty when I've spent, say, 6hrs bathing, primping and preening myself in particular ways to get ready for something; it gives me an edge and a strange kind of arrogant confidence in situations where there are straight men around. Or gay, for that matter - they often tell me they love my makeup and attitude. It almost scares me a little. I don't want to be manipulative; I just like to feel confident. I feel like any time I'm 100% dressed up, I'm gaining the power and confidence I never had before, and still don't have whenever I have to go out without putting on makeup etc. Also in my general quest for perfection, it's only natural that I should want to look perfect too.

It doesn't help that I waddle in flat shoes (I've learned to walk a little better in heels), am told I have a very stony expression most of the time, and look at the ground a lot - each of which I've been made fun of for, and still am sometimes. These are also trademark Aspie traits, so I'd say that makes us more likely to develop BDD or an eating disorder also. I've also always had a fascination for popular psychology articles, after I read my aunt's magazines as a child - this is where I learned most of what I know about 'people,' and I think I started to take their word as truth. Naturally I saw all the beauty tutorials and makeup advice columns as well and occasionally there'd be an article about how beautiful people do better in life or how making yourself look better can improve your social interactions... go figure I'd end up taking all the advice I got from them!

Come to think of it, I remember when I was around 12, I came across one of my doctors papers that said " Ida have dysmorphic features etc" But I forgot all about it into now.

_________________
A mommy who lives with autism parenting a little boy with Down syndrome and autism that is her world. and expecting a new little angle.

I think I might have it- I'm not sure.
It seems that every day I discover a new complex or disorder that describes me, and I rationally highly doubt I really do have so many.

I'm a longtime anorexic, and often when I was younger (starting maybe in middle school) I'd have panic attacks, my fat being the reason.
I'd carve things like "fat cow" and "pig" into my calves, and slice up my thighs, my arms not escaping entirely, either.

Then a year and a half ago when I developed a skin problem, it came back, only worse-
I'd take very sharp kitchen knives and literally CARVE the imperfections out of my skin, drown the wounds in alcohol, and tape medical gauze on my face. It made me feel better, for a short while. For several weeks I shopped online for hijabs, because I knew eventually my face would become so disgusting I couldn't leave the house without one.

Even now, usually when I'm on my walk every day, I'm struck with this PANG of knowledge that my rear end is probably jiggling all over the place for drivers to see, and I have to take deep breaths to calm myself.

I'm trying REALLY hard to make progress in all aspects of my health, so I do my best to avoid mirrors altogether now.