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Does this seem odd to anyone else?

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Sweetleaf
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14 Jan 2011, 3:49 am

Ok so I mentioned one thing thats been on my mind in another thread....basically I get the feeling my shadow is not mine and is like a seperate entity not always but a couple times I've not been able to escape that feeling. But the other thing that happened before this was even a bit more wierd. I felt like there was someone standing behind me but there was not anyone there......that lasted pretty much the whole day and was quite annoying because I don't like doing things when people are watching me and well the feeling of a presence behind me was so strong thats what it felt like.

I mean maybe those types of things are not too abnormal for someone with aspergers, depression, PTSD and anxiety....but I thought it was a bit weird. I mentioned feeling like there was a presence behind me to my counseler and he hardly seemed to think anything of it at all I've tried not to worry about it, I mean it was two weeks ago...but I don't understand why my conseler seemed so convinced it was nothing to be concerned about. The other shadow oddity has happened more recently and I have not mentioned that to him yet. I do plan to talk to him about all that again.....but i was just wondering if anyone here has any thoughts on those things because can't get it off my mindf?



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14 Jan 2011, 4:23 am

It sounds like obsessive toughs. If you are seriously worried about this you can talk about it with your counsellor, he might take it more seriously if you bring it up again.
But in my experience obsessive toughs usually go away if you just ignore them.


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Sweetleaf
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14 Jan 2011, 4:27 am

Kiran wrote:
It sounds like obsessive toughs. If you are seriously worried about this you can talk about it with your counsellor, he might take it more seriously if you bring it up again.
But in my experience obsessive toughs usually go away if you just ignore them.


Yeah that could be, though it felt more real then that.......I mean it felt the same way I feel if someone actually is standing behind me. But I suppose it could still just be something like that, and it has not happened again to that extent so maybe it was just a random one day thing.



mgran
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14 Jan 2011, 3:34 pm

I have had similar symptoms in the past... not with my shadow, but with my reflection. People visiting my house find it surprising that there's only one mirror, a shaving mirror smaller than my hand, kept on a shelf where I can't see it. When I've rented houses with fixed mirrors I've always hung drapes over them... the reflection always seemed like a sinister imposter keeping tabs on me. I'm on medication which has dramatically improved my symptoms, but I still have no mirror in the house.

I've also had the feeling of someone standing behind me, so intense at times that it's almost like they've got the palm of their hand flattened against my spine. It's awful. To this day I choose to sit with my back to a wall.

I was finally (finally) diagnosed with bipolar/schizoaffective disorder (they're not yet one hundred percent sure which is the more accurate diagnoses, though leaning to schizoaffective.) I'm surprised your therapist doesn't take it more seriously. I hope that you get some relief for this... I know from experience how awful it is.



Sweetleaf
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14 Jan 2011, 4:58 pm

mgran wrote:
I have had similar symptoms in the past... not with my shadow, but with my reflection. People visiting my house find it surprising that there's only one mirror, a shaving mirror smaller than my hand, kept on a shelf where I can't see it. When I've rented houses with fixed mirrors I've always hung drapes over them... the reflection always seemed like a sinister imposter keeping tabs on me. I'm on medication which has dramatically improved my symptoms, but I still have no mirror in the house.

I've also had the feeling of someone standing behind me, so intense at times that it's almost like they've got the palm of their hand flattened against my spine. It's awful. To this day I choose to sit with my back to a wall.

I was finally (finally) diagnosed with bipolar/schizoaffective disorder (they're not yet one hundred percent sure which is the more accurate diagnoses, though leaning to schizoaffective.) I'm surprised your therapist doesn't take it more seriously. I hope that you get some relief for this... I know from experience how awful it is.


Well so far that has only happened once to that extent, though a couple times sense thing I've felt a presence but not nearly as strong. But yeah I suppose I should just keep track of that sort of thing and if it happens again so strongly.....I will definatly mention it to him again. I guess the main thing is its hard to be relieved that I finally got a diagnosis when everything still does not quite seem to add up.



pgd
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15 Jan 2011, 10:29 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
Ok so I mentioned one thing thats been on my mind in another thread....basically I get the feeling my shadow is not mine and is like a seperate entity not always but a couple times I've not been able to escape that feeling. But the other thing that happened before this was even a bit more wierd. I felt like there was someone standing behind me but there was not anyone there......that lasted pretty much the whole day and was quite annoying because I don't like doing things when people are watching me and well the feeling of a presence behind me was so strong thats what it felt like.

I mean maybe those types of things are not too abnormal for someone with aspergers, depression, PTSD and anxiety....but I thought it was a bit weird. I mentioned feeling like there was a presence behind me to my counseler and he hardly seemed to think anything of it at all I've tried not to worry about it, I mean it was two weeks ago...but I don't understand why my conseler seemed so convinced it was nothing to be concerned about. The other shadow oddity has happened more recently and I have not mentioned that to him yet. I do plan to talk to him about all that again.....but i was just wondering if anyone here has any thoughts on those things because can't get it off my mindf?


----

Assorted ideas - Regarding the idea of a shadow not being yours (a question of visual perception), know of one case where that was associated with mild ADHD Inattentive but it was only a momentary feeling and extremely occasional which went away almost instantly. Finding a med which worked for ADHD Inattentive helped improve alertness and visual perception a little (not a cure). Regarding the feeling like there was a presence behind you, that may or may not be associated with some very subtle types of the many, many odd epilepsies such as TLE, complex partial, deja vu, jamais vu, etc. The subtle epilepsies are diagnosed by neurologists / epileptologists. There may be other possible explanations for what you write about too.



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15 Jan 2011, 12:26 pm

pgd wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Ok so I mentioned one thing thats been on my mind in another thread....basically I get the feeling my shadow is not mine and is like a seperate entity not always but a couple times I've not been able to escape that feeling. But the other thing that happened before this was even a bit more wierd. I felt like there was someone standing behind me but there was not anyone there......that lasted pretty much the whole day and was quite annoying because I don't like doing things when people are watching me and well the feeling of a presence behind me was so strong thats what it felt like.

I mean maybe those types of things are not too abnormal for someone with aspergers, depression, PTSD and anxiety....but I thought it was a bit weird. I mentioned feeling like there was a presence behind me to my counseler and he hardly seemed to think anything of it at all I've tried not to worry about it, I mean it was two weeks ago...but I don't understand why my conseler seemed so convinced it was nothing to be concerned about. The other shadow oddity has happened more recently and I have not mentioned that to him yet. I do plan to talk to him about all that again.....but i was just wondering if anyone here has any thoughts on those things because can't get it off my mindf?


----

Assorted ideas - Regarding the idea of a shadow not being yours (a question of visual perception), know of one case where that was associated with mild ADHD Inattentive but it was only a momentary feeling and extremely occasional which went away almost instantly. Finding a med which worked for ADHD Inattentive helped improve alertness and visual perception a little (not a cure). Regarding the feeling like there was a presence behind you, that may or may not be associated with some very subtle types of the many, many odd epilepsies such as TLE, complex partial, deja vu, jamais vu, etc. The subtle epilepsies are diagnosed by neurologists / epileptologists. There may be other possible explanations for what you write about too.


Yeah maybe......though the shadow thing was not really about visual perception I don't think, It looked perfectly normal just felt like it was kind of a seperate presense that was watching me.....enough to make me a bit uncomfortable. Its kinda stupid I guess, probably just caused by stress.



NathanealWest
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15 Jan 2011, 3:15 pm

I have feelings about mirrors but not as deep as mgran's.



Sweetleaf
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18 Jan 2011, 12:05 am

Well I did not really want to start another thread as this is just another odd thing I don't understand but I've been needing to vent about it for a few hours now. So today I was hanging out at my friends house like usual and I went down to my moms house to take a shower and get my stuff ready for my first day of my third attempt of college. Well after I was done showering and all that I was just kinda speaking my thoughts aloud as I usually do when there are no people around. But anyways I started feeling a bit of an anxiety attack coming on and things just started looking kind of wrong......like nothing really changed but somehow looked wrong which I attributed to the anxiety. Then I was seeing dark shadow looking things out of the corner of my eye which I would turn to look at and there was nothing there that made the anxiety a bit worse so once that subsided(it was only about a minute in which that took place I think) I still felt anxious and like I was not alone. So I went back to my friends house and did not really feel 'safe' until I got there and was around other people.

Just something else to talk to my counseler about I guess, but its been bothering me all day so I had to vent about it...and see if anyone has anything helpful to say about it.



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20 Jan 2011, 12:41 am

Also not trying to start another thread, but...

Sweetleaf wrote:
Well I did not really want to start another thread as this is just another odd thing I don't understand but I've been needing to vent about it for a few hours now. So today I was hanging out at my friends house like usual and I went down to my moms house to take a shower and get my stuff ready for my first day of my third attempt of college. Well after I was done showering and all that I was just kinda speaking my thoughts aloud as I usually do when there are no people around. But anyways I started feeling a bit of an anxiety attack coming on and things just started looking kind of wrong......like nothing really changed but somehow looked wrong which I attributed to the anxiety. Then I was seeing dark shadow looking things out of the corner of my eye which I would turn to look at and there was nothing there that made the anxiety a bit worse so once that subsided(it was only about a minute in which that took place I think) I still felt anxious and like I was not alone. So I went back to my friends house and did not really feel 'safe' until I got there and was around other people.

Just something else to talk to my counseler about I guess, but its been bothering me all day so I had to vent about it...and see if anyone has anything helpful to say about it.


This is quite similar to what I've been feeling for that last few months. :( It's intense dread that stops short of being a panic attack. I wear glasses, though, so any weird stuff in my visual periphery is ambiguous (could be completely imaginary, or a fancy I've gotten from the blurry stuff on the edges that I can hardly see). Also, my eyes get very tired at night, which could explain that creepy feeling I get of walls bending and the other disturbing perceptions... not that it always happens at night or when I'm tired. It happens often and almost exclusively when I'm alone, to the point that whenever I'm alone I can trigger it by being afraid it will happen. I'm also afraid of all sorts of mundane stuff like pictures, words, and showering; and today was completely terrified by some random road sign hanging off its frame. Things that are reliably scary look angular and off: an open door, a shower curtain, an ostensibly straight wall, etc., in addition to mirrors and anything that could possibly lead me to believe that another person/stranger is with me. I don't know why this happens; I don't think I'm more stressed by other things than before I had these problems.

One possibly useful idea, though: the dark shadows in the corners of your eyes could just be creeping tunnel vision from strong anxiety, like in a panic attack (less blood to feed the optic nerve, presumably).



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21 Jan 2011, 11:39 am

theQuail wrote:
Also not trying to start another thread, but...

Sweetleaf wrote:
Well I did not really want to start another thread as this is just another odd thing I don't understand but I've been needing to vent about it for a few hours now. So today I was hanging out at my friends house like usual and I went down to my moms house to take a shower and get my stuff ready for my first day of my third attempt of college. Well after I was done showering and all that I was just kinda speaking my thoughts aloud as I usually do when there are no people around. But anyways I started feeling a bit of an anxiety attack coming on and things just started looking kind of wrong......like nothing really changed but somehow looked wrong which I attributed to the anxiety. Then I was seeing dark shadow looking things out of the corner of my eye which I would turn to look at and there was nothing there that made the anxiety a bit worse so once that subsided(it was only about a minute in which that took place I think) I still felt anxious and like I was not alone. So I went back to my friends house and did not really feel 'safe' until I got there and was around other people.

Just something else to talk to my counseler about I guess, but its been bothering me all day so I had to vent about it...and see if anyone has anything helpful to say about it.


This is quite similar to what I've been feeling for that last few months. :( It's intense dread that stops short of being a panic attack. I wear glasses, though, so any weird stuff in my visual periphery is ambiguous (could be completely imaginary, or a fancy I've gotten from the blurry stuff on the edges that I can hardly see). Also, my eyes get very tired at night, which could explain that creepy feeling I get of walls bending and the other disturbing perceptions... not that it always happens at night or when I'm tired. It happens often and almost exclusively when I'm alone, to the point that whenever I'm alone I can trigger it by being afraid it will happen. I'm also afraid of all sorts of mundane stuff like pictures, words, and showering; and today was completely terrified by some random road sign hanging off its frame. Things that are reliably scary look angular and off: an open door, a shower curtain, an ostensibly straight wall, etc., in addition to mirrors and anything that could possibly lead me to believe that another person/stranger is with me. I don't know why this happens; I don't think I'm more stressed by other things than before I had these problems.

One possibly useful idea, though: the dark shadows in the corners of your eyes could just be creeping tunnel vision from strong anxiety, like in a panic attack (less blood to feed the optic nerve, presumably).


Yeah same here, it seems like there is usually no good reason for these weird things. I mean throughout my life I have had kinda weird things go on like weird things at night. From what I read its farily normal to have odd experiances at night when you are trying to get to sleep so that does not concern me too much.....but yeah during the day when walls look like they aren't quite still it gets a little annoying. But yeah I don't get why I keep feeling like theres someone else there when there's not. I mean I've freaked out before and let my mind wander and have convinced myself something like that is going on.....but thats usually a whole process leading up. Not a sudden strong feeling of a presence that I cannot get rid of. I guess the feeling that I am going insane does not help and quite honestly I can't find any reason to believe that I am not. I mean even if I manage the depression and anxiety better that does not change what I have decided about society.



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10 Feb 2011, 10:14 am

Are you sleep-deprived with all of this anxiety and depression? Sleep deprivation can cause all sorts of strange things to happen.