How to get a BETTER social life?

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I'm shy and I feel like I have literally no life. I don't do much in my life other than being with animals, having dreams about the future (which I only do something about if someone push me).
I'm a dancer on the side and want to stay in shape, but I hate going to the gym etc. and everytime I go down there I get confused about all the things going on around me. I never feel good about being my self socially.
When I'm in a social situation (like a friend's party or anything like that) I'm very uncomftable socially, I feel awkward and when I get home I'm exhausted, as it takes an enormous amount of energy for me to appear NOT shy and interact with people the right way, as I have very limited social and interpersonal skills, and I often get misunderstood (which I hate). I'm also a very cerebral intellectual and people happen to get upset with me as I mostly use intellegence rather than emotions (and don't always understand their emotions).
Has this something to do with my AS as I think?
Does anyone here have some advices how to get a better social life? I probably will never get a good social life, but just a better and less exhausting would be nice.
Hope to hear from some, and feel free to post your social views and experiences!
Thank you!!

Typically we have a much better time of it if the social gathering is related in some way to a special interest.

Let other people's thoughts and judgements be their thoughts and judgements.

People's thoughts and judgements are safely in their own minds.

Even if they verbalize it they are only expressing what they are perceiving(or what they want you to think they are perceiving). If someone says "you're stupid/arrogant/shallow/..." what they're really saying is "based on my perception I have classified you as _____." Doesn't make it true. It's an opinion and an opinion is just that an opinion and opinions only exist in people's heads. It's not going to jump out of their mind and attack you.

But then there is the danger of people trying to take real, concrete action based on their judgements, and maybe underneath it all this is why people worry about what other people think. But if there's no risk of anything other than disapproval is there any logical reason to care? For some people it might be worth worrying, such as a boss since a boss can fire you(or promote you).

Real friends will appreciate you for being yourself so I wouldn't worry too much about what your friends think beyond taking their needs and views into consideration when making decisions together or if you find something they say insightful or interesting.

I think it is related to AS but it is not essential to AS. I fell into a similar pattern that I'm getting out of. You've been in "performance mode". It may seem counterintuitive but I've discovered I socialize a lot better if I don't worry about "doing it right", and am starting to even act obnoxious more often on purpose . Socializing is fun when you aren't worrying about it. People can take me or leave me. Why should I care? If anything it's neurotypicals who should be worried. They have this nasty tendancy to bend to what ever everybody else is thinking and doing without even realizing it and history is full of examples of where this went terribly wrong.

Many people uses coffee, alcohol etc to help them in social situations.

Even drops on the tongue of rescue remedy or sativex etc etc can aid anxiety.

Practise makes perfect.

For you socialising is difficult because your mostly alone

For others being alone is difficult because they are mostly socialising....

A run or workout before socialising can rid the body of tensions too.

When I emerge from the sea after a few hours surfing I am blissfully peaceful and easy to be with.

I understand perfectly what you are saying. I find social situations difficult and exhausting too, and I spend a lot of time alone. I do not mind spending time alone and am very independent, but sometimes I feel lonely and as if I am 'missing out' on life. I didn't go anywhere at Christmas or New Year, like parties (etc.), and although I would have hated parties I felt lonely and cut off.

I agree with BTDT that it is a good idea to socialise via our special interests where possible. I am also thinking of doing some volunteering, because it will make me feel that I am contributing to society and doing something useful rather than shutting myself away all the time.

It's really annoying when you are underage and people with that share your interest, tend to meet in bars. I am into a band and most of their fans are in their early twenties, though people of all ages like them. Even little kids. Anyway, they are let's say, a bit of a "drinking band" and a lot of their fans are the same way, so everyone meets in bars.

If I was young and single, I would happily go out on dates with every single lady on this forum.

Make an honest assessment of everything that you have to offer. You like animals so much that you are willing to clean up their poop. This tells me that you have a nurturing personality and you care about the wellbeing of others. In addition, your writing style indicates that you are probably rather intelligent. You also like to dance on the side. This probably means that you are reasonably healthy. I am willing to bet that many guys have a crush on you at this very moment.

I spend time with people, but it's generally only at some sort of special interest gathering. Unfortunately, because many of these are very populated, I don't really get a chance to actually talk to people. I also don't really get invitations to spend time with people in a smaller setting.

Better social life? I'd have to have one to begin with to get a better one. The economic depression has made even trips to concerts or the opera impossible, which were nearly the only times we went out; we haven't eaten anywhere outside the apartment in two years; and the not-very-many friends I have are almost all in other cities. The closest I now come to social life is through the computer and our set routine visits to the grocery store.

But I don't really mean that to sound particularly negative about it. I do miss two or three very close friends, but apart from that, lack of social life isn't that much of a problem.

Grow some sideburns and join a band!