My father has no respect.

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I have SPD/SID, and I'm prone to sensory overloads.

My family and I were watching a movie a few hours ago. My father wouldn't stop talking, and it wasn't just small remarks referring to the film. He talked unreasonably loud, and beat his hands against the arms of his chair. I have told him many times that this is very upsetting to me while watching films.

I had a meltdown during the end of the film. I'm currently in my room right now cooling off, and I think this will be the last time I watch a movie with my father. He thinks I'm a sissy; telling me I should "grow up".

I feel this has something to do with his drinking. I absolutely hate it when he drinks.

I think that your dad needs to read up on the issues that you have. Did he send youto your room. If he did, that's pretty barbaric. My parents stopped doing that to me at the age of 12, though my dad once threatened that I'd be in my room all day, if I mentioned anything about The Beatles one time when I was 13.

I swear that sometimes, WP is my sounding board to complain about my upbringing.

i'm sorry to hear that and i kinda refuse to explain as to why and what i understand about it, and also do not wish to further comment on it for it will not also help anyway. i do hope you'd find yourself comfort and betterment with what you're feeling now and in the situation as a whole. i'd be a friend if you need any..

When you hate someones drinking, even the smell on the breath can irritate....

Its his house,he pays for everything. I would calmly state your aversion to him, when he is sober and nice. I would then quietly withdraw when he gets like that to avoid conflict.

If you dont rile him,hopefully he will respect your request

I know what it's like to grow up with a difficult father. Mine was loud, obnoxious and drunk whenever he was home. You should stand up for yourself verbally when subjected to personal attacks, but it doesn't sound as if your father's behavior in the example cited was aimed at you. It's just the way he (mis)behaves, so avoidance is a good policy. I disagree with the notion that if your father pays for the house he can do as he likes--it's your house, too--but as a practical matter it's difficult, and not always wise, for a child to try to change the behavior of a parent, unless personal abuse is involved.

Ain't that always the way? Seems those that have no clue that anyone would actually like to hear the freaking DIALOGUE, get the loudest and most irritating right at the climax of the film!

My kids are like this during movies they aren't interested in. But they're all ADD and at various spectrum levels. I can make them go somewhere else while a movie is on. Unfortunately, you probably can't do that with your dad.



If you THINK it has something to do with his drinking, it probably does. Have you ever spoken to him about it?



Yup! That's the alcohol talking, but it's also more than that. Sorry, but I'm a father and have NO respect at all for parents that use that kind of language toward their kids. It may be the alcohol that causes him to have trouble holding his tongue, but it isn't alcohol that puts the thoughts in his head. One of my favorite song lyrics goes like this:

"Whiskey don't make liars. It just makes fools. So I didn't mean to say it, but I MEANT what I said." ~ James MacMurtry

You may want to consider getting in touch with Al Anon. (<<LINK)

Basically, Mr. Xxx has the perfect advice. But I have one word of warning ...

If you tell him that you don't like his drinking, make sure he's in a good mood as well as sober. I tried telling an aunt to stop drinking and they told me that it'd be okay since I can get drunk when I turn 21. I'm allergic to alcohol, I replied. (I really am, too.) Next thing I know, water is in my face. I thought it was safe to tell her to watch her drinking at 11 in the morning completely sober, but it wasn't because she was grumpy. So, be careful.

Sounds like he himself have some problems with his mental map.

If he calls you a sissy, just shrug your shoulders and say "yes I am, so what".

Yeah. I should have mentioned that the Al Anon route is probably the best first step. Talk to them first. Cold cocking your father with the drinking talk probably isn't the best way to begin. I was just wondering if you ever had tried, and what had happened. I wouldn't recommend approaching him without some sound advice from people who've been down that road before you.

Sorry to hear about that; I know what such things are like. My dad basically turns into Yosemite Sam when he's drunk.