Support Group - Yes or no?

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I was wondering if anyone on here, given the chance, would join a support group/socializing group for whichever condition they have. I am debating whether or not to join one, myself, and am anxious about it. Would the others with Aspergers (in my case) be like me? Would I be accepted? I've never really fit in anywhere, and the possibility that I might fit in with other Aspies is slightly scary, to me. It would be a new experience, sure, but a good one? What if I find out I don't like fitting in?

Erm, I went off on a tangent there. Back to the main topic, would any of you join/search for a support group, or socializing group in your area? Why or why not?

Truthfully, the replies I get will effect my decision to join a socializing group for AS. The concept is both terrifying and appealing.

I would join a support group (I've been to one, once) but not a socializing group that had no purpose other than socializing, because that would be too scary and awkward for me. I've been in groups that were not support groups but that centered around a particular activity, like volunteering (not AS groups), and that was okay because there was something concrete to do, and the socializing just came with it.

But I'm not sure that I feel like I fit in with other Aspies any better than I fit in with anyone else.

Fitting in can't be a scary thing. It literally means "go well together". If you get along well with somebody or a group, that's positive. If you don't want to interact with them still, fine.

I have quite some experience with support groups, I'd say, and I think that many of the questions you asked get different answers when you regard different support groups. Not only are support groups quite different due to the focus they set, but also due to the people who participate and even to the month of year when they take place. I'd never make my first contact with a support group in December, for example, because the December meetings simply are not representative - people tend to chat more and try to get everything done that's been left over in the old year and sometimes there is even some kind of Christmas celebration going on, so a December meeting will hardly ever reflect what the support group is like in other months.

I'll try to sum up my past experiences with support groups; my impression of the local ASD support group comes last.

Giftedness - Although this one may appear a rather positive condition to most people, I have had trouble dealing with it in the past. Before I found out about AS, I always thought that it was my giftedness that made me so different. The others in that "support group" (for the NTs among them it is more like a chance to socialize with each other) are much like me and ever since I started meeting them I felt like I belonged. They like to talk about things the NTs in my usual environment hardly ever want to talk about like science and philosophy. Even though I now understand that I was looking for something this group cannot give to me, I still go to their meetings every other month or so because it is nice to be around people who are different from most others, even though they are not different in exactly the same way as I am. The gatherings of this group are highly informal and little to no organization work takes place there.

Family members of demented people - My grandmother is suffering from dementia and my mother and me used to go to a support group for family members. Some of these meetings were highly productive and information about how to deal with the various logistic and emotional challenges a demented person poses to their family was shared. We learned a lot about the support the state and our health insurance give in a case like this and it was very helpful to hear that others had the same kind of trouble with their elderly family members. Other meetings were rather unproductive though. There was a lot of organizing the group going on that ought to have been dealt with in the background by the organizers of the group. This group also tended to break up into several sub-meetings which were discussing details of every-day life with a demented person, which was rather annoying to me as I was bound to miss some of the conversation that was going on. Eventually my mother and me stopped going to that group because my grandmother is living in a communal residence for demented people now and the day-to-day care for her is taken out of our hands.

ASD - Truth to tell, I've only been to this supprt group once, so my impression may not be very representative. (The reason is simply that the group has not met more often than that since I found out about it.) I felt quite at home in that group. The conversation there was very structured and touched on things many people on the spectrum have trouble with like keeping a job or dealing with sensory issues due to the winter coldth. Everone there was treating everyone else very politely and patiently and there was a lot of asking for clarification of details going on. Everything happened in a very relaxed way. There were people who talked more and others who talked less, but I got the impression that that was more closely correlating to how long people had been meeting the group and how much at ease they felt around the others than to the severity of their ASD. In fact, the man who talked most was somebody who needed his NT sister to come along for emotional support and who apparently does not usually interact with people outside his family at all. I will definitely go to this group again to see whether my first impression was right, but I don't know whether or not I'll keep meeting them. The group is great and I think it offers a lot of support to the people who meet there; the thing is simply that my AS is not very pronounced and I don't know how helpful this group would be for me in the long run. WP gives a lot of support to me and I may decide that I do not need a support group in addition to that after all. Nevertheless, I think this support group is a great thing for others who need a more direct contact to people facing similar challenges as them.

I think the chances are good that you would feel like you fit in with an ASD support group, ArtemisHolmes, but the only way to really find out is to go to a meeting and find out what this particular group is like. In my opinion, you should give it a try.

I'd give it a try.

Personally, I would not do it, but I know that such things have worked for many people.

I don't have the desire to do it myself, but since you are even debating it, I would say to give it a try. You can always stop going if you decide you don't like it.

I've just joined a group - not yet attended.

I think mine is held on the first Wednesday of every month and just joined - I waited a while before joining as it's via NAS so they had an application form that required a photo and references, also because I have the same fears as you.

I want to attend because I'm unemployed and have been for three years, because of this I get pretty much ZERO social interaction, it's making me go backwards in terms of problems with asperger's, it's making it harder to ger back into work, generally effecting my mental and emotional well-being. SO for me a support/social group would potentially be somewhere to interact with others, to hopefully make new friends which I very much want right now, and it may be a point where I can get advice or pointed in the direction of support to help with the various issues I'm having right now with finding work.

Plus - I don't have an official diagnosis yet, I'm very much stuck in limbo until I get the diagnosis I'm told is now just a formality, I'd like to meet others to see how I compare with them, to gauge how 'bad' I am and also because they're having a bit of a hard time determining if I'm actually asperger's or autistic so I figure understanding both more would help. Having gone most of my life without even knowing about autism or asperger's connecting with others was like coming home, so getting to know others will also hopefully help me feel a little more 'normal'.

I'm not sure what the people there are going to be like, if they are going to be like me or...it sounds horrible, but...if it's people who are more severely autistic than me as I don't think I'd want to socialise with them. I mean this as no offence, I worked with severely autistic people, I have dated an autistic person who was worse socially than me, it's just it's tough enough for me right now I don't want to have to work extra to help other people get along with me. Maybe when I'm not having such a hard time, trying to fit in with people who aren't like me is just too much right now.

I wonder how I'm going to get on the first time as I don't think I'd be able to bring my boyfriend with me, it's a new-ish place, and new people - I'll have to be brave. It's held at my old college (they go out to restaurants, pubs, bowling, etc. too), I went up there a few days ago to enrol in a part-time course and found they have a new student support department that actually supports students with disabilities (I wish it was like that when I first attended that college!! !!) and I even got to meet an autism adviser who will help me in college...so the fact they are more supportive to disabled students, even if it's not the same people as those who run this social group, means I'm a bit more at ease with the whole thing.

I'd go very much with 'give it a try' because it might be helpful to you, if you go in and find it's not for you then you can leave...you don't fit in...they don't fit in...if you don't fit in all together it's not a problem with you, you and them are just too different. If you can forgive not fitting in with anyone then it's with other social rejects

I'd go to a support group. I love to help others out.

I think meeting autistic people who function less than me or even better than me will cause me depression. I think I'll be staying away from any groups or meet ups.

I'm glad I attended our Autism NZ meeting for adult aspies.

I have now discontinued as I have learnt what I needed to know there.

I miss some aspies I met there, but to be honest did not form any relationships

Thanks for all your input- Especially Fluffy and Bloodheart. I'm not officially diagnosed, either, actually.... but I've thoroughly researched into all kinds of autism, and Aspergers fit me the absolute best. From social awkwardness to honesty to stimming. Anyways, I will definitely take up your suggestions.

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No I don't think I'd go - don't like too many new people all at once. Though if there were only 2 or 3 other people there, I might.

Might be a different matter if I didn't have music as a special interest though. I can usually find one or two people who are happy to jam with me, and it gives us something to talk about, making a recording or working up a set to perform together.