What do people mean by this?

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I think i do have AS even though i have not been diagnosed. Throughout a lot of my teenage life i have had people say to me that "Life will never be easy for you" and before i left school in 2006 my head of learning suppourt staff that helped me at school said to me "You are going to find things a lot harder than other people"

Obviously at 21 this is making me feel very anxious about my future and my life in general.

What do you think they might mean when they say things like my life will be hard?

I know i do find things harder than other people.

Might people mean the discrimination i will face will make things tougher for me?

That is quite vague of them to say that without elaborating further on what they mean. I can interpret both sentences a number of ways. I have no clue. I'd rather not make conjecture without knowing what the big picture is, which was left vague by the people that said those phrases. Objectively, life seems to be hard for anyone, but we seem to have difficulties that other people do not. On the other hand, many of us have gifts, also. Perhaps they recognized something you do not know.

Fair enough and i agree there not giving enough info when they say it to me.

My parents said this to me when I told them I was gay. I didn't know then that I probably had AS too!

Anyway, of course life is harder for those of us on the fringes of society. But that doesn't mean we can't be happy, We just most likely won't find our happiness in ways that "normal" people do- like through a marriage and kids or moving up the corporate ladder or whatever.

This is false happiness to begin with.

I disagree. A fulfilling career makes me very happy, and each new rung I climb makes me feel that much better about myself. Anyone who tells you that money does not buy happiness, ask them to give you theirs.

Of course, this pales in comparison to finding my perfect mate and raising a beautiful child, but it still isn't false happiness. For me it falls somewhere between reading a really good book and writing a really good book

I wouldn't worry about it because you won't know the difference, never having been someone else. The person who said it to you
wouldn't know either, because they also haven't.

What comforts me is the saying "Much is required of those to whom much is given". If you get a lot of advantages in life, you
are going to expect a lot more, and people are going to expect a lot more from you. I got dealt a bad hand, I know that now,
and no-one expects much from me, at least once they get to know me.

I don't feel I should be heading a charity mission for Somalia, because I know no-one would want me there. They also won't be
wanting me down at Budgeting Support, even though I am good at budgeting. The people who might look down on me because
I am not wealthy or employed, well they wouldn't have liked me anyway.

Oh gosh, looks like I am going to have to read this interesting library book and spend time with my chickens instead.

I think you will find there are a lot of aspies on here who feel this way. Be sad, but not *too* sad

Maybe because from the way you are or learn that people see that you struggle more.

That's just a guess.

The BIGGEST problem i struggle with is my height insecurities because i am only 5ft10. If I was 6ft2 i could just cruise through life a lot easier but the fusturation and inferiority i feel when around taller guys just disables me in its own right. For example last friday i had too look up to a 6ft2 associate of mine and it made me feel SO paranoid and inferior.

Can I work on getting over my height related issues?

In my country, 5 10 is average for a male, perhaps you come from a tall family and feel bad because of that?

NO my family are all under 6ft cause my dad is 5ft10 and my mother is 5ft2. Strangely my brother is 6ft1 though? The only thing that makes me feel bad is being surrounded by guys well over 6feet.

Chickenbird how do you think i can get over my height inferiority complex? Maybe I should move to mexico or china I'd probably shoot myself if i lived in Holland.

First I would want to be sure that it really was height that was bothering me. I might be linking "feeling inferior" to
height, when its really about something else. Did someone tall put you down when you were younger?

Otherwise, I don't know how we get over these things. I used to think I knew. It would be simple to hang out with shorter
people though. I had a short friend, and she said I made her feel safe. She made me feel big and strong, so it was
a good deal for both of us lol. I am only average height, but she is Asian.

Yeah true but in England its near impossible not to have to bump or look up and talk to a tall person ESSPECIALLY in the buissness world.

5ft10 is okay though it could be worse but for sure you are gonna see quite a lot of people a few inches taller than you. I feel fairly okay though most of the time with my friends because 2 of my friends are similar height to me, one is 5ft8 and only one guy in the group is tall at nearly 6ft2.

If i was tall and height was not a concern then i would probably worry about something else like being paranoid about my communication abilities. What I really want to do is just improve the way i function so i can spread my wings. i think part of hte issue is having AS part of your brain which controls 'the way you think' is dysfunctional so unlike NTs i find it a lot harder to shrug off things which annoy me.

I remmember when I was 12 at school i took my shoes and some of my friends remarked and said to me "God your tiny" that was the first time in my life that my height really bugged me so maybe that has something to do with it? Obvisouly as well the taunts and put down about my height that i have to endure from 6ft1 brother makes me feel more annoyed about the subject of height as well.

If you were one of those small-boned boys who grow tall all of a sudden, then that could make you feel like you were still
short even though you aren't now, don't you think? I'm average height now, and I always was for my age, and no-one
ever teased me about it. My social skills were much more of a problem.

Anyway a lot of people on here might "tell you off" for talking about dysfunction. This is how we are made, even if others don't
expect it or like it. We are just different. Don't let them grind you down!

Chickenbird do you think ovetime i might forget about my height insecurities? I have been having this height complex for just about 10 years now!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

You ask this at least once a week and keep getting the exact same answers as above. That you are of average height. I don't understand you Jamesy - are you hoping that one week reading all these same answers will suddenly sink in? You need CBT, not more of the same repetitive behavior.