Obsessions? Can they get out of control?

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I'm new to these forums. I have a 17 yr dx aspie, going on 18. That means he'll legally be an adult. I don't know how I'm supposed to think about it. It scares me a bit. My name is Marlene.

One reason I recently decided to post on these forums is to get a bit of advice on aspie obsessions. How far can these obsessions go? I'm a bit worried now with my son. I don't have anything against being heavily involved, but it's the degree and intensity I am worried about.

My son has a deep hearted interest in the environment, the science of it, really, climate change, pollution, landscapes, whatever it is, he knows about it. He can talk endlessly on it, and it's all he seems to even be worried about. He's a national geographic fan as well, gets all the mags and watches the associated tv channel quite often. Also into learning, discovery channels, etc. He's a member of the sierra club as well as something to do with national geographic. He doesn't attend outings, given he's not comfortable with strangers. He started out with a huge interest in geology years ago and it just progressed.

What bothers me though is the intensity of his passion. Some of what my son is involved with is sort of controversial. My son can debate his interests very well, but my worry is that there are now signs that he is taking a very radical line. He usually talks about this issue with an utmost moral intensity and has voiced support of radical eco groups. Since he's not comfortable with strangers, I doubt if he'll ever get involved. I don't mind the sierra club and the like, but he's been voicing support for some group who has been known to use arson. Should I be worried? He says he'd never do such things but believes and supports people who do.

Do aspie obsessions keep getting more extreme over time? It seems that way with my son.

Hey Marlene-

I’m a little bit OCD. I think most of us are. I don’t have to check things over and over again, once is usually enough. Now I’m no expert on this. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to have an your son check in with a counselor periodically to make sure he’s staying within reasonable bounds. I tend to think that, like me, he’s just very, very passionate about the things he cares about, and that’s not a bad thing. I am frequently misunderstood because I’m so passionate. People perceive me as confrontational and seem to be concerned that I may act inappropriately on my feelings. It would be nice if your son could make a clear distinction between supporting a group’s objectives and their tactics. It’s great that he has a cause that he can identify with. Only time will tell if his obsession keeps getting more extreme. Don’t worry, but remain concerned and vigilant. With your continued support and encouragement, and a mother hen’s watchful eye, he should be fine.

-Hope this helps,
Mark

Is there any way you can channel this obession into his education? I think when he his school a professor will run like the wind with his knowledge and drive for what he wants to do. find a local college and get a dept head to lead him a good direction. Aspies tend to be obessed over things but i think that he could be pointed in a good direction. he could so be a victim with some pretty strong radicals. I believe that MR. Marc hit it on the head he needs to check in with a therapist so they can keep straight and narrow. yes he is almost legal. but as long as he lives under your roof then he needs to abide by your rules. not to get into trouble is not asking for much. as I state all the time I wonder if the local chapter in your area for Autistic persons might aid you also. find positive things to channel his obession too. these chapters can help both of you. you with some counsel and him channelling his obession into something good.

c

Is there any way you can channel this obession into his education? I think when he his school a professor will run like the wind with his knowledge and drive for what he wants to do. find a local college and get a dept head to lead him a good direction. Aspies tend to be obessed over things but i think that he could be pointed in a good direction. he could so be a victim with some pretty strong radicals. I believe that MR. Marc hit it on the head he needs to check in with a therapist so they can keep straight and narrow. yes he is almost legal. but as long as he lives under your roof then he needs to abide by your rules. not to get into trouble is not asking for much. as I state all the time I wonder if the local chapter in your area for Autistic persons might aid you also. find positive things to channel his obession too. these chapters can help both of you. you with some counsel and him channelling his obession into something good.

c

What is it about him becoming an adult that scares you exactly? From the sounds of things your son sounds quite intelligent.

As far as his passions go those can be channeled into a possible career.

For example I have always had an interest in road maps and highway systems so I now I work as a courier. I also have interest in computers so I went to school and got a degree in Information Technology. Now I have job lined up for me with a consulting company that deals with people with disabilites who have techncial and college backgrounds. Like your son I am also interested in geography and the great outdoors.

the only time you might want to worry about your son's obsessions is if he starts neglecting his basic needs like food, sleep, and hygene.

I can understand what you are saying - I think there was an Aspie kid who got involved with some radical environmentalists and damaged some things. Are you concerned that your son might get involved with some people like that and do something illegal because of his passion? I think your concern is quite valid as seeing things only in black and white is not unusual - so if he is choosing to see things from only the most radical perspective than I would think he needs to understand the potential consequences. It might be good to encourage your son to see a counselor or therapist as someone above posted as a reality check. His passion is not necessarily wrong but he might not have a real grasp about the ramifications of what some of these groups do. And quite honestly, if they knew your son had a "condition" they might even encourage him to do something telling him he could get away with it. And he might even think these people would admire him instead of just using him. Just like a "cult" it is an instant group of "friends".

I was reading this, and I can easily understand the reasoning behind your son's actions. I too consider myself an environmentalist, though I'm not obssessed with national geographic and what not, but I am heavily involved with river conservation. I too am quite involved in controversial subject matter, including political issues with an anarchist and libertarian socialist edge. I do, however, go on outing once in a while and attend speaker meetings, but because the club I belong to that does this is quite a distance, I rarely go right now. I've been to a number of national parks and what not. One of the things I like about the natural environment is that it is free of human pollution, ifyou know what I mean. It is something that you can look at and just ponder life. It's sort of stimulating in a way.

As far as taking a radical approach, I specifically believe that radical approaches are sometimes needed. I'm not saying that arson and such criminal actions should be acceptable, but there needs to be some sort of mechanism in place that just doesn't allow the quasi-fascist leaders in power to gain control over our lifestyles. So long as everyone is not free to live a happy life, then there is no such thing as true freedom. It is simply a mirage. Humans, constrained within both socialist and capitalist economics, are thus conditioned to live narrow, one-dimensional lives.

I have always supported the controversial arguments presented in most Rage Against the Machine lyrics. We have got to take our power back, and when we see it being taken from us, then sometimes we just have to take it back through force.

For starters, I think that the judicial system is a complete disgrace. Cops, lawyers, judges, the whole array of judicial slime, does not deserve our respect (I'm not just talking about aspie types, but everyone who actually gives a damn). I'm not saying that we go out and hurt anyone or intentionally destroy property or commit crimes, because that's not what it's about. What I am saying is that we need to stick up for what we believe in. Words alone can be a weapon. At times, acts of civil disobedience have merit. The problem is that the judicial slime that I'm referring to are there to get in our way and to put an end to it all.

Yeah, I know, all of this may sound direct and confrontational, but I just got a judgement today issued by some f*****g doctor, and I will post about it elsewhere. This is the reason why this judicial system needs to be abolished.

- Ray M -

He's been doing that. He's planning on going to college for natural sciences or something.

It's not just the obsessions. He refuses to work, has problems getting his life in order, doesn't care if he screams at people if they disagree with him, is very confrontational, things like that. Also very, very dependent on us. He confers with a counselor and also attends group meetings with our local autism society once in a while.



He's bound and determined. This is something we've discussed already. He plans on going to college for natural sciences.



My son is knowledgeable in computers. Doesn't know how to program but can find his way around any site and most programs. It is like he is intuitive on this stuff. Can hook up tvs and radios and stereos with absolutely no problem. Even he can put quite a bit of stuff together like it was nothing. We had ordered a bookcase and I and my husband had trouble understanding directions. He was able to put it all up without even reading directions. He amazes me many times. He has taught me a bit about computers, how to work through sites. It's just he can't always easily explain how he does a lot of what he does. He just does it. Like it is intuition. I guess it is similar to what you are saying about road maps and stuff.



Yes, we have problems with this. I do not know if its really a problem. Like if we push him, he will do what he is asked. But he lets things slide on his own. Even with taking a shower. We have to press him. He does it. Just doesn't care and would rather sit at the computer reading websites all day. He is a huge eater. Food is far from a worry. It's just that he doesn't always eat right and will eat at any time during the day. Picks at supper and doesn't always eat at once. He gets enough sleep, but his sleep is also what I could call disorganized. Sleeps at irregular hours and tends to be a night owl. Says it's quieter when nobody is talking during day.

You know. I hate to even say this. But I do have worries about illegal acts. That is why I posted this. I don't even want to think he could be capable. But part of me does worry. He says he would never do such things. It is not just the act of such things that has been worrying me. It's his conversations. He says he wouldn't do such things because he's afraid of getting caught. He will try to convince others that it should be alright. He has really angered a few family members. And my husband's side is large, very large. He has family members, some of whom work or have worked at dupont, and he outright tells them they're responsible for causing birth defects and whatever.

I think there is a tendency to see things as either all good or all bad - it can take effort sometimes to put things in perspective. I learned to keep quiet . I didn't realize until I was an adult that I was probably making some very controversial (yet truthful) statements. Honesty is something that is claimed to be appreciated, but not really by alot of people. However - I had relatives that also shared this characteristic of being very truthful so it was not unusual - but they also weren't big on family reunions (lol). Do your relatives understand about AS. If so that may take the edge off their anger. However AS is not an excuse for bad behavior - especially for someone who us almost 18. He doesn't have to agree with his relatives choice of career but if he can't not insult them than does he really have to go to the family gatherings. I know this is probabaly going to be criticised about curtailing natural AS tendencies, but I think it can be helpful for people with AS to learn boundaries - like insulting your boss or professor or every potential date you meet might not get you what you want. So - you need to determine if it is due to his AS and lack of understanding of social cues or if he is purposely making these comments and that has nothing to do with AS.

Honesty eh?

Its a funny and complex art. People want honesty, but when they get it they generally don't like it...............so it has to be given dubtly adn with consideration of others opinions,

For example, saying "This is like this......................... End of" tends to alienate people and make em feel your nay saying everything they believe in. But if you say "Yea, thats a good point, but how about this concept? In my opinion, perhaps this is........................

I'd say his obsession is a good one. I get obsessive to that level about interests myself, and I haven't even got Aspergers! Maybe you could point him to some sites and articles that talk about the negative effects of radical environmentalism?

For example how in Britain our native wildlife was ravaged by activists releasing Mink into the countryside?
Sure holding them captive for fur farming was wrong, but equally it was wrong to release a non native species which has almost single handedly accounted for the grave demise of the Water Vole, and will kill every living animal on a water course.....

I guess its a case of helping him to see and understand cause and effect, and how every seemingly good action can have a bad consequence.

My 12 yoa son has been a worry wart and OCD since a toddler. We always thought of it as odd for a three year old to be worried about wars in the world. That's until we found out he had AS. But now his worries are worse as a young adult. He gets very upset about the possibility of a tornado hitting our house when the weather acts up. He actually gets obsessed about it until he gets depressed. My fear is he will grow up being depressed as an adult from all the worrying about our fate, his fate, and the worlds fate. I'm hoping he can channel all that as an adult into trying to help people. 9/11 was the worst for him. And still is. My husband is a police officer and at least 3 nights a week he cries about his dad not coming home because he'll get killed. Probably normal for any child to worry about their parent but he's obsessed.

I worry about his future and him becoming depressed which would affect his life living skills. Most kids at 12 dream of jobs of being a fireman,policeman, doctor...etc... my 12 yoa will tell anyone that asks "what do you want to do when you grow up", his answer, "stay home and take care of my mom". At first it was sweet and cute. Now, it worries me he won't want to leave the house.