Hard to be taken seriously as an autism advocate

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I'm a person with AS who has been working as a social organizer for autistic persons for the last year or so.

Despite the fact that I'm now pushing thirty, I find neurotypicals' reaction to my presentations would be more appropriate for a young primary school student at a spelling bee.

To give an example, while speaking at a board meeting for a local parent-run autism organization, I made a comment on the fundraising budget beginning with the statement, "while I'm scarcely a business person..." one of the board members chimed in, "oh, but you are dressed like a little business man!"

Terms like "sweetie" have also started making an appearance for the first time in the better part of two decades, despite the fact that, visually, I am clearly not a child.

I can't help but get the impression that the infantalization of autistic persons in the media makes it difficult for us to be taken seriously. I have met with an autistic life coach who became overly excited over the fact that I was able to articulate myself without constant prodding.

I'm not sure if anyone can offer me any advice on this, but it's something that I feel has been getting in the way of my being effective, and I'd absolutely appreciate any advice on how to get over the low expectations people tend to have of us.

There might be things you can do to be taken seriously on a personal level. Maybe have someone critique your presentation style. Or video/tape yourself speaking, and see for yourself.

We can't do anything about global perception of autistic people, we can only change ourselves and the attitudes of those we come into contact with, so don't worry about that.

I can't help but feel that was a mistake. Focus on what you are and know, don't give them an easy opening like that. Don't draw attention to your weaknesses.

If someone calls you sweetie, call them something back, like honey

That's good, that kind of reflect back. Just do it matter-of-factly, and relatively immediately. Hopefully, the other person will catch on after just one time. If not, just patiently and matter-of-factly do it the next time

I don't think you made that big a mistake, if any. I think the guy was a first-rate jerk and he probably made the other board members feel uncomfortable.

If the guy felt the pressing need to say anything, he could have said, 'That's okay. Plenty of non-business people have good ideas.'

This guy probably feels guilty, and will probably be on his best behavior in future meetings (another board member may have said something to him, or if not, he probably felt their discomfort). On the rare event he pulls a stunt like this again, just look at him for like one-thousand one, one-thousand two. And then confidently continue with your presentation maybe just a tad slower and more deliberatively. Then come back up to your regular speed. What you are communicating is that you will not be intimidated by him.

I think your primary audience is probably the other board members. Maybe ask one or two of them (don't overdo it, probably just one potential ally) what he or she would like to hear in a future presentation. That is, in a low-key way, start to develop some informal connections. This is merely a possibility, not a requirement.

Let's talk turkey a little bit. I thought about activist group focused mainly on jobs. Once a month, we might invite an HR person. We would both ask a challenge question in advance and keep it polite. We're not trying to ambush anyone. We'll email the person a copy of the question ahead of time, for example,

'We do HR departments look for reasons not to hire, rather than reasons to hire?'

Whatever answer the person gives is fine. Invite another HR person the second month, and maybe yet a third one the third month. And maybe invite the first person back the fourth month. So, what we would be doing is slow-motion almost like postal chess. At the same time, we're doing a number of other activities.

Thoughtful challenge to currrent practice, and endeavor to stay polite. If a member of our group becomes impolite, well, these are charged issues, that's okay, we're endeavor to recover gracefully for the member. And we're not going to hit it off with every HR director. But, since they emphasize fairness, some of them will find our questions very searching.

We can effect societal change. And along the way maybe get meaningful job offers and/or ideas for indepedent businesses.

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bakattsura, any advice you might give me regarding this?

Respond with your middle finger.

That sounds absolutely frightening, but it's probably the most helpful thing I could do. My personality at work is largely a mish-mash of things I've picked up from watching others more eloquent and articulate than myself and I have little idea how it actually comes off.



I'm not sure he intended actual disrespect; the issue, for me, is that if one person actually went out and said it, other people were likely to have held the same sentiment but not spoken about it.



We do something similar to this and have had some success. My experience is more in putting together roundtable discussions between employment advocates and autistic persons looking for employment, and we discuss strategies for seeking employment, articulate common issues we face, and how we've solved them. It may be helpful to invite HR persons as well, but I'd caution you that no two HR departments will have the same hiring requirements, and that persons on the autism spectrum generally fare better interviewing for small companies with employers they have a connection to than for large and impersonal ones.



Many people on the autism spectrum won't be able to interview competitively for a job with any realistic amount of coaching. I've focused on putting together work portfolios to impress people who are already open to working with persons with disabilities, as well as supporting autistic-run business. Where I live, at least, there are a number of government-run job centers that provide career fairs, interviewing skills, and networking for people looking for work, and many of those people have disabilities. They rarely know what to do with autistic people, so your best bet may be to work with them to make their jobs easier by helping others learn to articulate their issues and find solutions to them you can present to employers.

I can't stress the value of a portfolio enough. Those of us without social skills have to prove that we can do the work better than any other candidate. Fortunately, many of us are focused enough to create a wide breadth of examples of we can be directed enough to do so.

Thanks for the advice, and good luck.

I have little problems being taken seriously where I live as a public advocate. I'd be happy to consult other advocates about social issues related to inclusion and opportunity. Just PM me.

I've found being assertive, friendly, confident and unavoidable works in general PR. You can't reproach with emotional devastation. You can't guilt change into happening based upon false fact propaganda. You can inspire community by means of friendship and an audacity to innovate change. This works in general.

If it's well-tread ground, like the budget on the rec dept, then a speaker can give a creative presentation, maybe an original analogy, something of that sort. If it's a new issue, then it's better to have a straightforward presentation.

And autism is a new issue to most people, and probably lends itself to a more straightforward presentation. That's really the only possible suggestion I might make. And yes, you should be treated with respect. But people being people, imperfect as they are, and for a variety of reasons, at times each of us won't be. Well, we can come here, receive human solidarity, and go out and try again. And sometimes we'll get lucky and be more successful than we anticipated. And I will happily accept good luck!

The guy might have been nervous because he was outside his element (he's used to knowing things and being ahead of the speaker and being able to easily categorize what each speaker is saying), and may have felt motivated to blurt something out. However, he possibly could have gracefully recovered.

'Sorry. This is all new to me. But you're doing fine.'

I can sometimes pull off a (brief) recovery regarding something I know well (and brief is better). Yes, I have patchy social skills, and very good in some areas thank you very much. Sales and political activism has helped, such as talk slow (really medium), sell fast, and less is more. That is, keep it simple and straightforward. And my social skills are not so good in other areas.

One thing I tell myself is, 'Well, no one has skills of recover' And few people do, and that kind of helps me forgive others.

And I also work on accepting myself when I'm not at the top of my game, developing a solid B game, and accepting myself in general.

I like that. Just be confidently persistent, right?

I do want to start a group where we challenge conventional hiring practices, and along the way help myself get a good job, and other people, too. And I like bakattsura's suggestion of starting businesses. I am currently ramping up an SAT tutoring business---where the business cards constitute 20% of the expenses! Yes, it's that inexpensive! You can often attempt a service business run out of your home or car nice and cheaply, and along the way keep that light touch and that easy touch.

Last edited by AardvarkGoodSwimmer on 06 Feb 2011, 8:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes.

Thank you. (going to go watch some of the Superbowl now, more later)

Okay, guys, this question:

It's known that people with Asperger's can be highly successful in creative / intellectual fields (where success is a combo of talent, work, perserverance, and just plain luck). In fact, that can almost be viewed as a second stereotype, to the first of people on the autism spectrum not being able to speak at all. But what about a variety of models of medium success?

You should start another post maybe?

Do you think it's more the audience's preconceptions about Autism or that as someone with AS you have more difficulty connecting with them during the presentation than an NT person might? Or a combination of the two?

These days I thanks to some tips from my college lit teacher and practice I don't usually have problems connecting with the room, although some are harder than others. I haven't experienced much hostility, but I notice a lot of the time people are unsure of how to act - which I gather is a more unfamiliar feeling to NTs than to us. It puts them on edge. Usually if I can at least give them enough of a feel for me in the first 10 minutes to know I'm not gonna have a meltdown if someone says the wrong thing or I dunno, see the color orange, it's on the right track.

Autistic people aren't taken seriously, period. It's the depressing bottom line.