advice on bringing up me possibly having AS to my therapist?
So it's been awhile since I've seen my therapist (at least 2 years lol), but I just got a new appointment set up for next tuesday with her (was able to get my case re-opened over the phone ).
I've ALWAYS had a really difficult time bringing up possible "diagnoses" with her. I have no idea why I get this way, but anytime I think I might have something and I want to discuss it with her, I get really nervous and feel like I'm a bad person, and I just can't bring it up with her.
I know at least some of it, is I'm really scared she'll reject the idea and I'm afraid I'll just end up looking really stupid.
she currently has me down as obsessive compulsive, borderline personality, and she was leaning pretty heavily on schizotypal.
I've never really agreed with these. I just don't fit the mold. . .and she's always been pretty stumped with me, because I have so many different symptoms from so many different things lol.
She did once ask me about autism. But I quickly dismissed it, and knew there was just no way I had that. I'd never heard the term asperger's before when she asked.
at this point I'm about 80 percent sure I'm AS. . .I've never "fit a mold" so well before in my life. . .reading posts, and asking a few questions here, I'm just amazed at how I relate to so much of what a lot of you guys go through.
I don't think she's trained to help with AS. . .but I live in a very small town, and she's amazing. I wouldn't trade her for anyone else if you paid me to. She knows things about me, that I vowed i'd die before I'd let anyone know. Yet she still doesn't seem to judge or to hate me. If she can know what she knows about me, and still seem like she cares so much about me. . .then she's got my trust for life.
Plus she was a nun for many years before becoming a therapist. . .she's an incredibly calming person to talk to lol.
Any ideas?
Should I print out a aspi-quiz pdf and take that to her? (lowest score i've received in the last yeat is 156/200 aspie, i usually get in the mid 160's). . .or would this be excessive?
In my mind I have it all worked out. I'm going to go in there, and just lay it all out on the table and tell her straight up that I think I'm an aspie, and discuss to her exactly why I believe so.
lol
but things don't seem to turn out like I always have them set up in my mind >.<"
That happened to me, but in reverse. I once raised autism, and my therapist dismissed it. I hadn't heard of Asperger's or HFA then, either.
Should I print out a aspi-quiz pdf and take that to her? (lowest score i've received in the last yeat is 156/200 aspie, i usually get in the mid 160's). . .or would this be excessive?
In my mind I have it all worked out. I'm going to go in there, and just lay it all out on the table and tell her straight up that I think I'm an aspie, and discuss to her exactly why I believe so.
lol
but things don't seem to turn out like I always have them set up in my mind >.<"
Yeah, I'd maybe take the quiz along, maybe a few notes to help you. If you've got it all worked out in your head though, all you have to do is reel it out. If she has listened to you so far, she is likely to continue in that vein.
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Last edited by Moog on 07 Feb 2011, 3:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I took my Aspie Quiz to show my dr, as well as other printed material that I felt described me better than I could ever articulate myself. I started reading The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome and I made a 6 page (excessive?!) report that detailed things that I felt were significant for me. I was nervous about giving him that info, as I thought he'd just call me a hypochondriac like every other dr, but he thanked me and told me that it was appreciated since he is not very familiar with AS. So, that to me is permission to keep them coming!
It seriously can't hurt to at least bring it with you. If you don't present it, well that will be up to you, but to have it just in case would be a good idea. It seems you have a good relationship with her, and if she brought it up before, then she sounds like she would be open to further exploring that if you brought it up with her again. And maybe explain why you dismissed it in the first place, and that now you have an understanding of AS and would like to explore it...
Good luck!
WRITE IT ALL DOWN!! !
A couple of people here have gone to an appointment with a huge mental list of things but had it all fall apart because they couldn't express it well or just locked up. If you have it all written down, at the very least you can hand it to her and have her read it.
Good luck.
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When God made me He didn't use a mold. I'm FREEHAND baby!
The road to my hell is paved with your good intentions.
I mentioned AS to a great therapist and he laughed it off. I think many therapists don't know much and are thrown off by patients/clients who have great empathy and can connect WITH THEM. Hard to be how you are in other situations in a safe environment. Hard to demonstrate difficulties one has long term, in a situation so short term.
Can't hurt to bring it up, but be prepared.
I took an autism spectrum test online for Asperger's Syndrome and I scored a 40 on it, with anything over 34 would be someone who has Asperger's Syndrome and usually a severe case of it. I just haven't been diagnosed by a psychologist as of yet that I officially have it, but I am pretty sure that I do. I just haven't had the time (much less the money) to see a psychologist about it. Although I do have a trust fund that was set up by my parents (i'm not allowed to access the money) to help me with counseling and education purposes. My trust fund is paying for me to go school online right now. I am pretty sure they would pay for me to see a psychologist to find out if I do have AS or not. I am already seeing a licensed professional counselor every 2 weeks to talk about my daily struggles in life and my trust fund is paying for that too. Who here thinks I should go through with it to find out if I officially have it or not?
In my mind I have it all worked out. I'm going to go in there, and just lay it all out on the table and tell her straight up that I think I'm an aspie, and discuss to her exactly why I believe so.
lol
but things don't seem to turn out like I always have them set up in my mind >.<"
I would say go for it. She already raised the idea, so she should be open to the suggestion.
I agree with the others; you should be prepared with a list of reasons why you think you have AS. Back these reasons up with concrete examples, if possible. You should also be ready to explain why this diagnosis is significant to you.
One thing you want to avoid: Don't let yourself get sidetracked. She may use some of what you say as topics to explore in therapy. That's not a bad thing, but it is not what you want to do at this time.
Good luck.
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"Like lonely ghosts, at a roadside cross, we stay, because we don't know where else to go." -- Orenda Fink
Sarah,
I would say, go ahead, if your trust fund will pay for it. It could be helpful, and it is always good to find out a little more about yourself.
At the same time, you should be aware that there are limits to what a diagnosis can bring you. There is no cure for AS. Many of the therapies for AS just treat the symptoms, so you don't need an AS diagnosis to get treatment.
One thing that a formal diagnosis may give you is a little more credibility when you are discussing AS with people. Some people just hear "self-diagnosed" and dismiss it immediately.
Be prepared. Diagnosing adults can be difficult. Many people who are trained in psychology do not have the expertise to diagnose AS.
_________________
"Like lonely ghosts, at a roadside cross, we stay, because we don't know where else to go." -- Orenda Fink
If you haven't gotten a copy of Tony Attwood's "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome" as described above, I would suggest getting/reading it because it really encompasses a lot of what difficulties Adults have with gaining an appropriate diagnosis.
I unfortunately did not get the book until after I was diagnosed. As a result, the process I engaged in was very difficult because it literally required the reforming the conceptualization of the doctors that were seeing me for diagnosis. They both were stuck to the very limited concepts offered by DSM-IV and being trained on Asperger's in the context of a child patients. Attwood says in very clear language in his book that a doctor relying solely on DSM-IV for diagnosis is providing a disservice to the patient, because so little was known at the time of the publishing of DSM-IV (1994) and so much good information has been published outside the DSM-IV, prior to, concurrently and since.
Personally, I brought my results from the following tests to my second evaluation:
EQ/SQ
Aspie Quiz
Broad Autism Phenotype
Autism Spectrum Quotient
I also included background on the origins of each piece. The doctor remarked "May I keep these? Its interesting to see what other people are using to aide in identification of Asperger's". I found it interesting he had never heard of them. (This guy was the regional "Autism Expert" within my HMO).
I may have not had to see a second doctor if I had read Attwood's book before hand, because it would have helped solidify the things I had learned by doing my own research that I was trying to convey to that doctor. Rather, he saw me as constantly questioning his qualifications rather than my stated goal of receiving an appropriate and comprehensive assessment given my age and history. He referred me to doctor number two, who was more open to listen and 'bought' what I had to say, in his own words after a four hour interview, it would have been so much easier to have just pointed to text in the book!
One thing I didn't do however was come in with a written history of my life and struggles. I too thought it would seem a bit too much like trying to posture for a diagnosis. I figured reading my symptoms from a page would do little to demonstrate my actual characteristics to the staff. It was more demonstrative; when I was engaged in a real conversation, making recollections and presenting points by my typical methods of speech; to the likelyhood that I had Asperger's, where reading would have likely diminished much of the qualitative nuances of such.
Since she brought it up to you before, if you decide you want to bring it up to her it might be easiest to remind her that it was her idea.
Something like:
"Remember how you suggested a while back that I might be autistic, and I dismissed the idea? Well, I've learnt more about autism since then, and I think that might actually be right."
That might help lessen the dynamic of 'patient suggesting diagnosis to professional' which sometimes causes problems, because you can show it as being originally her idea.
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Now convinced that I'm a bit autistic, but still unsure if I'd qualify for a diagnosis, since it causes me few problems. Apparently people who are familiar with the autism spectrum can readily spot that I'm a bit autistic, though.
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Since autism can cause communication deficits, sometimes it's necessary to supplement verbal communication because you are not able to get everything out verbally. It's very easy for me to simply go silent about something if people say things in a certain way, and it's very easy for me to simply digress over and over and talk completely around not only the point but the subject. In my case, a written piece will allow me to easily get the basic points I need to make across to my therapist without dealing with distracting interruptions, questions, or assertions.
I'm also making a point to reference the communication difficulties in the paper itself.
Since autism can cause communication deficits, sometimes it's necessary to supplement verbal communication because you are not able to get everything out verbally. It's very easy for me to simply go silent about something if people say things in a certain way, and it's very easy for me to simply digress over and over and talk completely around not only the point but the subject. In my case, a written piece will allow me to easily get the basic points I need to make across to my therapist without dealing with distracting interruptions, questions, or assertions.
I'm also making a point to reference the communication difficulties in the paper itself.
Absolutely, even after my evaluation I felt like I missed on a lot that I had originally wanted to discuss, and even felt that in many cases I had digressed on certain points due to internal distraction or prompts from the doctor and his assistant.
While personally I still wouldn't have wanted to bring a fully written paper, looking back a 'check list' at least of subjects would have been quite helpful on my end. I agree anyone could likely benefit from differing levels of written information as a supplement as you put it, depending on one's own needs.
Wow lol, thank you all so much for all the replies.
I have brought lists of things to talk about to my therapist before (her suggestion), and it worked great. I get distracted easily, and no matter how bad I may be doing. . .sometimes once inside my therapist's office, all my stress and "mental junk" just seem to disappear and all I want to do is be silly, and talk about fun things lol.
Makes it really hard for me to talk about what I need to talk about sometimes (which is why she was having me make written check lists to bring to our sessions).
I'll do this for this session.
I don't know that she's trained for autism. I do know she's very open minded, so I'm not afraid of her dismissing it or anything.
Guess I'll find out on tuesday if she knows anything about it.
I just hope that if she isn't trained to help with autism, that she doesn't try to push me off on some other therapist lol. It took me a solid 2 years to get to a point where I truly felt comfortable talking with this counselor, and now that I trust her, I hate the idea of seeing anyone but her.
thanks again for all the replies guys!
I've brought it up with doctors and here is my advice:
Yes, have reasons to back it up! I told my psychiatrist one time and he basically just shot me down because I had eye contact and a "warm" personality and I was so dumbfounded that I couldn't formulate a reply.
Don't act overly enthusiastic about a DX. My current therapist said she believed I had AS, and I actually acted all excited about it. That didn't go over very well and she said I was focusing on the dx more than improving my social skills. So now she doesn't mention it anymore
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oh god lmao. . .now i'm nervous >.<"
this therapist has never been about the "diagnosis" and much more about how to work on a better life.
thing is. . .is it feels so important to me to have a diagnosis i agree with.
it drives me crazy not having a "label" i feel "fits" me.
i don't know if she feels this way. . .but i've always been nervous talking to her about diagnosis's because i'm always afraid she's going to think i'm just looking for excuses on why i'm so different. lol no idea if that makes sense. . .but i just feel guilty bringing this kind of thing up to her.
not trying to bash on her, because she really is an amazing person. i just have issues with this kind of thing with her (trusting her not to judge me. . .even though i "know" rationally i have no reason to believe she will.)
. . .
hell i wonder myself if i'm just looking for an excuse. maybe that's why a proper diagnosis is so important to me. . .so i have a reason why.
but honestly. . .is that such a bad thing?
i hate going through life. . .feeling so lost, so alone, and so f'ing scared. . .without ANY reason behind it. why was going to the store where nothing outwardly happened, so exhausting and terrifying for me?
I DON'T KNOW.
it's so frustrating.
i just want to know i'm not broken, that there's a reason why i have problems.
so why do i feel guilty about wanting a "reason"?
lol. . .sorry for the ramble/vent >.<"
Sorry to make you vent... but I feel the same way. I'm an adult female and it's very hard not knowing.
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Crazy Bird Lady!! !
Also likes Pokemon
Avatar: A Shiny from the new Pokemon Pearl remake, Shiny Chatot... I named him TaterTot...
FINALLY diagnosed with ASD 2/6/2020
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