Confused

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I don't understand, I want people to leave me alone, so I can be by myself and do my own thing, I want to tell everyone to just f--- off. Yet, I also want the companionship of my friends and family. How can I constantly have these contradicting feelings? It doesn't even make sense, at least not to me.

It makes sense to me. I don't like to be with other people because I am so insecure, I don't know what is appropriate, and overanalyze everything I say, all the time. So I think I would like to be around others if I had better self-esteem, and I knew if what I said or did was appropriate or not, but since I don't, I prefer to read or sit in front of the computer, because it's predictable, and I don't have to worry, but I still feel lonely sometimes. (I don't mean to complain, I am perfectly happy, only I tried to make a point ) Maybe that's the reason?

This is common for people who are on the spectrum to feel like that and from what it sounds like, I think you would do well having friends online than you would do IRL.

You would be alone and you wouldn't be doing the overwhelming things that you do when you have friends around.

That's almost exactly how I feel a lot of the time- I don't like being around people in case I annoy/bore them and I like my own space/routine but I've recently started getting really lonely which is strange because I never used to.

It makes perfect sense to me. I want friends, and I get a lot out of having friends. At the same time, interacting with people is hard work and uses up a lot of energy, and the only way to recover is to isolate myself.

It makes sense to me. I won't friends, but when i am around people i keep getting distracted//nerves about what they are thinking/feeling, especially if they arent saying anything

I keep thinking that I also want friends but when I have had friends around I can get too stressed and I can't take the intensity in many situations. I have some old friends that I keep in touch with via email/phone as we all live in different countries but did go to school or work together at various points, I'm not sure what would happen if we did live closer to each other. I feel lonely sometimes and don't socialize at all these days but honestly perhaps having someone to go see a movie with would be as much as I could handle. I did a lot of things earlier in my life in an attempt to fit in and seem normal but now I just can't be bothered.

Well, I'm glad other people can relate. I only have two friends, which is enough for me, but I do often feel lonely.

ooo ooo this is a good one. I mean, I have had this experience often. This is my paradox.

I think my problem is solved by having a computer desktop in my room. That may actually be how it got solved. Being anywhere else in the house I get bugged and asked to do stuff relentlessly.

Edit: my goal is to find a friend with Aspergers so that we can both treat each other with the social experiences we need.