Childlike?

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I've been thinking about something recently - partly through topics posted here.
I realized that I'm still very childlike. not childish, but childlike. There's a difference, I think. I'm not especially immature for my age group, but my interactions with the world seem very childlike to me. The way other adults respond, and the sorts of things they enjoy, the motivations and ambitions they have - how they want to see their lives turn out and why - seems very different to mine. Also the way I interact with other adults, my own age group and older, seems to be from a very childlike perspective. Like they're still the adults and I'm still the kid in the roles we play. The way your average Western adult views the world is alien to me. More and more, especially through what's going on with work in my life at the moment, I'm seeing the gap between me and normal adults widen every day.
I'm not so good with being articulate at the moment, but does that make sense? Does anyone else seem to come at the world from a childlike perspective? Is this an aspie-like thing, or just me?

No, you're not the only one. I read that people with Asperger's tend to look and act younger than they are. It doesn't matter what age you are chronologically, you can still have childlike tendencies.
Unfortunately, people like us come off as naive. It's not that we're naive, it's just that we don't understand things the way other people do. For example, my mother always had to explain things to me in a different way (and still does), so that I would understand. She has to be more visual with me. I don't think that makes me naive, though.
People like us are just different, that's all.

I've heard it said that people on the spectrum tend towards honesty over deception and notions of morality that could be considered childlike, and this in itself is enough to create a widening gap between one and the majority of humanity. There is a difference between immaturity and moral fortitude, however, and I for one think "childish" innocence is a virtue, not a vice.

I've had people tell me I seem "innocent" which I don't really get.

In my opinion I'm not innocent. I curse like crazy and drink and I don't shy away from exposing myself to some pretty screwed-up stuff. But I guess I am socially behind or naive or something.

Well I suppose often people can take some kinds of social traits (like shyly looking down and such) to mean a person is innocent. I was referring to innocence as a state of mind (which may or may not align with projected social cues).

I don't really feel like adult at all. People also think I'm innocent for some reason, even though I don't think I am.

I don't see having childlike morals as a bad thing. It just means we haven't been polluted by the world.

I'm viewed as childlike. I'm seen as innocent, naive by some people. My husband thinks I have childlike views of the world and my attitude.


I hate being seen as innocent but yet when I am not seen as innocent, people think I am up to something or think I did something intentionally. I can't have it both ways. I wish I could have it in between but everything always has to be black and white.

I am like this too. I experience the world like a child. Inside I am reacting and experiencing the world like it is all new, everyday is new. There are some things that trigger upset and I have a good memory but not a good emotional memory...that is one in which you can learn to recognize similar.. which help to create conditional reactions to events. Everything is brand new everyday and if I wasn't concerned with how ridiculous it would look I would probably act out more. I live alone so I don't have to keep it inside all the time but I feel a strange abandonment all the time. It feels like, 'who left me alone here??, and then I shake it off and live my adult life (or have a blast and play unsupervised). I could go on and on but just wanted to let you know I feel it for sure. "Where is everyone??? oh thats right they aren't here. I'm kind of hungry, wish there was something here to eat, leftovers or something....no...there's no one here that cooked and left you something. You live here alone and you didn't cook anything."

Last edited by alone on 09 Feb 2011, 12:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm sort of the opposite; people tend to see me as complicated and dark but under the surface my outlook on most things is actually very simple and innocent.

I am 78 and I know that I never entered adulthood. But not even adolescence. I may be (I am ) literate and have experince about things of the world, but still I am a child. My life stopped at about sixteeen. I pretended to be mature. Intellectually I have been mature, but in my inner self I have known since a long time that it was only pretence.

omg i go through the exact same thing.

usually when i meet older men, and i hang out with them long enough. . .they take on a "fatherly" role with me. . .and i kinda feel like a kid.
this has happened over and over with me.

my first job, delivering pizza, i became the boss's dream son lol (i loved that man. him and me would always go and hang out after work. . .go watch movies, or just sit and talk lol sounds creepy, but it wasn't. it literally felt like he was my dad, and he took on a father role with me).
same thing happened with my uncle when i lived with him for a short period of time. along with my uncle's step dad (his step dad hated everyone lol. but for some reason him and me got along amazing. . .he took me under his wing).

and now it's my land lord.
i've trashed my apartment a few times in the past. he should've kicked me out a long time ago, but he hasn't.
it feels like the same kind of thing i've been in over and over and over throughout my adult life.
it feels like he's taking on a father role, and i'm taking on a kid role.
he comes to inspect my apartment a couple times a month to make sure i'm keeping it picked up. . .he's shown me nothing but understanding and compassion.
instead of him hating me, and being disgusted with me.

. . .
then during certain stressful situations, i turn into a kid.
this last summer, some medical issues came up and i had to get some surgery and have a round of chemo.
the entire time when i was dealing with all the doctors and the nurses, i swore to god i was a 7 or 8 year old boy.
i wasn't immature. . .in fact i was extremely mature and wise for a kid. . .but i felt so childlike. no idea how to word this.

. . .
i keep reading and posting here, and it's so crazy to find others go through things similar to me.
i gave up years ago to ever figuring out what the heck's wrong with me lol. it's just weird seeing so many other people who go through some of the stuff i go through.

EeYup.

The last thing my shrink wrote about me describes my appearance as "unusual, odd, bizarre, childlike," or something like that. I have no clue what he meant.

With each passing year I realize more and more that adults are nothing more than old children. Ostensibly they are more mature, and they do learn to make better decisions with experience, but they have the same needs and tendencies they had as children. A needy, approval-seeking child will be similar as an adult.

I believe that one's propensity to push moral boundaries is set at a young age. For example, a child who is unwilling to steal a cookie from the cookie jar will likely develop into an adult who is unwilling to take a pen or printer paper from the office. It seems that it is considered "normal," (maybe NT) for one to push moral boundaries. Those who don't, as AKindOfJareth suggested may be considered "childlike." This is unfortunate for society.


Society suggests that one should adhere to relative guidelines for adult life; work, live on one's own, pay bills, have relationships etc. The child follows certain guidelines too; attend school, play, eat vegetables, take a bath. Both are just mindlessly doing what is prescribed to them. The responsibilities change more with experience instead of age. People make this transition at different ages so perhaps the distinction should be made between those with experience and those without.

In conclusion, I reserve the right to let my inexperience show.

I have been told that I am childlike in some aspects, and very wise and mature in others. Because of my distaste for lying and dishonesty, I have been treated condescendingly or patronizingly, as well as labeled naive and gullible. In many ways I might well be naive and gullible, but that may be because I seen possibilities in situations that others don't seem capable of picking up on. I know that when I play with my cat, or watch a funny movie, I might seem to be about 8 years old. Also, I usually attract people into my life who seem to think that they have to protect or guide me. Ridiculous.

I don't know why, but this thread helped me resolve a lot of my issues. Thanks, OP and everyone else.