Happy Singles' Awareness Day all!

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I hope yours is just as joyous and uneventful as mine

That's mean.

Happy Monday, lovelies.

Maybe I don't get the joke but is Single Awareness Day supposed to imply that it's a lot more obvious who is single and who isn't depending on who is taking part in Valentine's Day? What if you're single and don't give two spits about being in a relationship and you don't want society to be aware so they can leave you alone?

It's a way to integrate singles into the day.
No one has to participate in either.
if you don't want to, just ignore it.

Nice! Another holiday to celebrate every year. But how does one celebrate singles day exactly? Here are a few ideas:

- Go someplace people usually take their significant other, like a fancy restaurant or cheesy romance movie. Make sure there is an empty seat next to you. Start talking to that empty seat as if it were your significant other. When people start giving you funny looks, act surprised and offended.

- Bake a cake and decorate it with a twin-heart design. Cut it in half. Take one half and throw it at the next couple you see making out in the street. Stick the other half in the freezer. Once it's frozen solid, throw it at the next couple you see making out in the street.

- Buy two bottles of champagne. Uncork one and let it spray all over the house in celebration. Chug the other. Repeat until passed out and/or drowned (this may take some time.) Be sure to buy an extra bottle for whoever cleans your home. If it's not your home, run.

Happy singles day, everyone!