OCD & OCPD control my life

Post Reply New Topic

I've been thinking about posting this here for quite a while but never got around to it till now. I know OCD & some OCPD issues are common amongst AS but I think my problems may be more extreme. I've been very picky my whole life about routines, schedules, rules, fantasies, obsessions ect ect. I think some of my OCD/OCPD issues are related to my physical disabilities as well as my AS. I've had problems doing things that others could & it's caused lots of problems for me. I think my OCD is in response to a fear of having a problem because I did not do something the correct way. I am paranoid of making mistakes & doing anything wrong. I've dealt with things as best I could but I feel these problems are extremely limiting my ability to function in life. I avoid learning to do certain things for myself that I am capable of learning & doing because I am worried that I will not do it rite. I try to avoid making decisions & being independent & let my parents & others assume major responsibility in my life because I get so caught up in the details that I can get completely overwhelmed. I tend to over-analyze everything sometimes to the point where I shut down. I learned to avoid things as a result. I am very picky about the way I do things & when others question me or make suggestions; I get very defensive & am very quick to lash out at em because I am very self-conscious about it & I sometimes go on these very long tangents about why I'm doing something the way I'm doing it. It takes me a lot longer to do certain things than most people because of my OCD issues. I am also extremely critical of others because I believe that if they do not do things my way; they will have a problem as a result. I've been told quite often that I'm bossy, highly demanding & extremely judgmental; I can find faults with almost anything. I also tend to have lots of obsessions & unwanted thoughts that I sometimes have to act on. I was officially diagnosed with OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Personality & lots of other things 7/8 years ago when I was tested for AS but I'm almost positive I have AS. I was seeing docs & taking meds for anxiety, depression & lots of other things for 5 years & the meds & psychs were NO help at all with my OCD. I've been done with psychs, docs & meds for over two years now & I am a lot better off avoiding that. I've read a bit on OCD & OCPD treatment & the main things they talk about are counseling & meds which I want to avoid. I'm wondering if anyone has any coping strategies or any kind of advice

I think it's important to distinguish between OCD and OCPD. They are generally not similar beyond a superficial level.

People with OCD are generally not concerned with doing things the right way in the same sense that someone with OCPD is. People with OCPD are perfectionists and they want things to be done in an absolutely right way. People with OCD are driven by irrational demands from the basal ganglia and a few other parts of the brain, and, the "right" way is not right in an absolute sense, only a personal sense.

For example, a person with OCD may feel they have to walk through the doorway, and touch each side of the doorway in a particular way, a particular number of times, and coordinate this with their foot steps, to prevent something bad from happening...or rather, to rid themselves of the sensation that something bad will happen if they don't do it. This ritual must be done the "right" way, and the "right" way to do this ritual is whichever way their brain has decided it to be.

Wherease the absolute right of someone with OCPD is usually determined by society's ideal.

On occasion someone with OCD might be concerned with absolute right, but this is based in a fear that they have done something wrong, or made a mistake during the course of their work which will negatively impact someone else. For example, a mechanic might feel the need to recheck that they have installed an engine correctly or replaced the brakes correctly, based on a nagging fear that they have not, and the engine will explode or the breaks will fail causing injury to a person.

A banker with OCD might feel the need to recount money based on a strong sensation that they have counted wrong.

A person with OCPD will insist on either doing the work of others to make sure it's done right, or insisting others do their work a particular way, because they have a need to control their surroundings and have some issue with things not being done to their liking, different from the issue of those with OCD/

I would imagine treatment for OCD would not work very well in people who actually have OCPD as OCD is a basal ganglia dysregulation disorder, distinct from one's outlooks, perspectives, philosophies and ideals, and OCPD is a personality disorder which weighs heavily on these things.

I know OCD & OCPD are different disorders that usually do not coexist but I have issues with both. From what I understand OCD is more about anxiety & OCPD is more about control. I have lots of anxiety issues & I also want to be in control of others sometimes. I am a perfectionist about some things & I want some things done my way. But I also have some very irrational fears that have nothing to do with society's ideal that I sometimes try to push onto others. When I was in a relationship years ago; I was kinda controlling with her & felt like a parent with her at times due to the fact that I was having lots of anxiety attacks worrying about things that I had no rezone at all to worry about. My OCD & OCPD issues are mixed tougher & play off each other. I get overwhelmed making decisions for myself but I sometimes feel a need make decisions for others

On occasion people with OCD may try to implement others as facilitators in their rituals, but this should be something that friends and family should not be obliging to, and if you can't help but to try to include them in your rituals, then they should be trained to not to heed your demands.

I think perhaps one thing you might try to do to combat your issues is to humble yourself. Accept that the way you do things is not always right, or perfect, or the most ideal, and the way someone else does something might actually be better.

If you can de-couple the OCPD from the OCD then you might be able to treat them better.

For severe OCD, a few things can be done. The first would be an in patience OCD program. I recommend the one at the UCLA Semel Institute or at McLean Hospital on the east coast.

If the OCD is severe, acute and unrelenting such that it completely debilitates you, for example, you spend 6 hours a day in the shower and then 6 more picking lint off your clothes, and you cannot afford hospitalization, then there are a few other drugs that can be tried, but they have some potentially severe and permanent side effects. For example haldol, which can cause permanent nerve damage, and is not intended for long term use when it's used to treat OCD. Use would typically not span more than 2 months I believe.

For those that have such unrelenting OCD and nothing has worked, including long term hospitalization and the more unorthodox medication, there is a procedure called a cingulotomy.

I doubt this is applicable in your situation though. The cingulatomy does not cure OCD and only has a success rate of 30% if I recall correctly, but in the best case scenario, it gets the person to respond to medication to some degree, offering them some relief.

I know my way of doing things isn't rite way because it takes me a long time to do em but I cant help but worry about things that I know I shouldn't. I think I sometimes try to control others because of my anxiety. I was diagnosed as codependent as well but I think some of that is because of my OCD/anxiety issues. I'm dependent on others because I avoid trying to be independent due to my anxiety/OCD. I'm a very sensitive person at heart despite the fact I may not appear that way sometimes(or lots of times) & I sometiems try to help others because I feel guilty about being so dependent & stuff with em & because I know I need em. Not sure if that makes sense

I think some of my OCD issues are pretty bad. It takes me an hour to wash dishes my parents can do in 15minutes, Before that relationship I was obsessed with porn. I spent most of the day DLing it, organizing it, labeling it & posting it on groups/sites; I did not enjoy it. I had stuff I knew I would never use that I felt I needed to have. I got so frustrated with it after a while I left all the groups & deleted everything. Shortly after that I ended up in the relationship & I got completely obsessed with her I neglected & lost site of myself. I had a mental breakdown after we broke up & I spent the next 5years seeing docs & taking meds. During that time when I was working; I was a workaholic; working 55+ hours a week when I could. Work was a distraction. When I wasn't working I would obsessively think about my ex to the point where I would give myself anxiety attacks worrying sometimes or I would have lots of crying spells. Sense I quit working I sometimes start checking her pro & occasionally give myself stomach problems because of anxiety over it. I also sometimes start getting back into my former porn obsession that I do not want to have. What worries me the most rite now is the way I sometimes have to think about her & check her pro that she doesn't update. It doesn't happen often but I sometimes get those thoughts in my head & feel I have to act on em. It's like I have to have an obsession or something going on in order to keep me distracted from unhealthy obsessions & thoughts that I do not want.

I'm not sure what an OCD program is like but if it involves medication; I am NOT interested. I think I may of been on haldol for a brief period but I don't remember the specifics. I had lots of problems from psych meds that seemed to have caused some permanent side-effects. I have a much harder time focusing, concentrating & paying attention than I used to. I also have a tremor disorder that meds worsened a lot while I was on em. I'm almost paranoid of seeing docs for anything mental related because of my bad experiences. Also I'm close to broke & only have Medicare. I'm a hell of a lot better off not going to docs rite now

It takes me two hours to wash a families worth of dishes. But I don't think it's an OCD thing because I'm not washing each dish or piece of silverware excessively. I'm just a slow dish washer.



That's not OCD, that would be OCPD or some type of hoarding, which they are not understanding is actually distinct from OCD though may be co-morbid to it.



That would be more OCPD....OCD does not cause fixations with people. At most it would cause separation anxiety or a worry that something bad is going to happen to a particular person, but the nature is still distinct from just wanting a person, thinking about them, and wanting to know what they are doing.



Yes, anything that lowers your dopamine levels or causes serotonin toxicity would likely make a tremor worse. The programs usually use a combination of medication and CBT. I don't think medication is required though.



Maybe you should look into dielectic therapy. They use it for borderline personality disorder but it's probably applicable to OCPD.

It takes me a while to wash dishes because I rinse excessively & I'm picky about stacking em in the drainboard. I'm very picky about order & things. I sometimes have urges to touch walls & things as I pass by em. When playing RPG games; I save my game every couple minutes & restart the moment I mess up or get hit or anything. I definably have some OCD.

I think the porn thing is at least co-morbid with OCD because I sometimes get these thoughts to look at a certain thing & I start looking to get the thoughts out of my head but I can get obsessed 1ce I give in.

My OCD & OCPD issues were one of my biggest strengths in the workplace. I was one of the 1st there & last to leave. I never goofed off or wasted time. I was good at strategizing, getting my work done & helping others out to. My OCD & OCPD were also one of my biggest weaknesses thou because I pushed myself to hard instead of taking my time off to relax. I had problems handing getting pulled off & routine changes sometimes true me for a loop & stressed me out a lot.

I will look dielectic therapy up tonight or tomorrow. I'm not going to see about getting professional help at this point thou. The professionals couldn't get my diagnoses rite & kept pushing meds & giving me contradictory advice.

Whether it is OCD or not can usually be determined by motivation. Why do you rinse excessively? Why do you have to stack them a certain way? Why do you have to save your game every couple of minutes and restart if you mess up?



People with OCD may have intrusive images which can be of a sexual nature, but the sufferer generally finds them very disturbing and generally would not attempt to view such images outside of the context of exposure CBT. It would be very unlikely for this to develop into an obsession with viewing pornography due to the fact that the sufferer would find it disturbing. The intrusive thoughts of someone with OCD are different from the urges of someone with a pornography obsession,in that the latter is someone who derives some type of pleasure from such activities, even though it might get to a point where they want to quit.

The intrusive thoughts of someone with OCD are usually of things which are apt to disturb them the most and which they are least likely to act on or engage in.

I'm not really sure what my motivation is except anxiety. I've had major anxiety issues all my life. I do things certain ways to alleviate my anxiety. I don't have anxiety when I do things those ways but I don't want to break those routines because I have anxiety.


I find some of my thoughts very disturbing. I'm disgusted by some of the stuff I look up & some of it makes me very nauseous sometimes. I feel really guilty about some of it to. I've had very disturbing thoughts about other things as well. When I was in high-school I fantasied about going Columbine. I also used to fantasize about rape & committing suicide years ago. I haven't had those kinds of thoughts sense I got into the porn thing. I used to worry that I would suddenly flip-out & go crazy but after I did that by slashing myself; I don' worry about flipping out

I did something extremely STUPID. I was stalking Emily's profile & I accidentally sent her a message. It was only a couple characters & my pro is hidden & I have a different SN than I had years ago but I'm worried she might realize it's me. We haven't chatted in 6 years & I do NOT want her to even think about me. I would rater die the most painful death imaginable & spend eternity in hell suffering than do anything that would hurt her. I've been having major stomach problems the last couple hours. Does marijuana help with OCD in any way I never tried it & I'm straight-edge but I known quite a lot of pot-heads & the some claim it helps with mental issues & the side-effects & problems they have from it are a lot better than the meds I was on. I need a new distraction obsession; a girl who's codependent or something & would like a guy who's completely obsessed with her but I have no chance in hell of getting anyone