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Snivy
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22 Feb 2011, 10:12 am

I'm usually silent around people I don't know or trust and the hardest thing for me to do is trust people, and I ESPECIALLY don't speak when I'm around a boy I like. The only thing I ever do is smile. It's like I'm a mute. It's hard to start a conversation or ask this person that you need something.

A part of me is afraid of hurting someone's feelings, or saying something rude, or try to take advantage of someone.

If anyone was ever rude to me, or yells at me, I can promise you I'd never speak to him/her again, if if I did need something from him.



kaybird
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22 Feb 2011, 10:22 am

I feel the same, I only talk to 4 people in my life; my mum, sister, brother and local shop keeper. Sometimes I feel like a mute too, sometimes I prefer to be silent but at times when I have to go to the doctor becuase i'm sick it can be a pain in the bum when fear grips hold and nothing comes out.



Dgosling
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22 Feb 2011, 10:38 am

I'm a mute to but i don't fear of hurting someone's feelings i'm just quiet :/



Xinro
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22 Feb 2011, 10:46 am

I'm incredibly self-conscious. It's hard to talk to most people and hard to initiate conversation. I'll be thinking something for a long time and unless someone asks me what I'm thinking about, I won't say anything. I can hold a conversation if there's a steady back and forth, but if they're trying to get me to keep it going, it won't work so well. I just can't come up with anything socially acceptable or interesting to talk about.



wavefreak58
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22 Feb 2011, 10:55 am

Snivy wrote:
I'm usually silent around people I don't know or trust and the hardest thing for me to do is trust people, and I ESPECIALLY don't speak when I'm around a boy I like. The only thing I ever do is smile. It's like I'm a mute. It's hard to start a conversation or ask this person that you need something.


I was very much like this in elementary and high school. Almost functionally mute at times. I still have low conversational skills in new environments. Even with people I know well, once the topic drifts away from things I know about I stop talking.


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Cornflake
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22 Feb 2011, 11:12 am

I never talk in the "nattering" sense, except maybe with one of my nephews who I know really well - but even he catches me out with his NT-ness and a gulf opens up.
Other times it's only when I need to report or ask about something.
When strangers are around I'm like an anxious ghost, just floating in the background.


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Bluefins
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22 Feb 2011, 11:41 am

I don't talk much either.



Zen
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22 Feb 2011, 11:54 am

Do you get people coming up to you every single day of your life saying something amazingly witty like, "SHHH! You're too loud!"? I do. It's one of my biggest pet peeves.

I very rarely talk, and I've been that way my whole life. There was a point when I worried about it, feeling like I should be saying something because everyone else was, but I really didn't have any words. People seem to think that I have something to say but am too shy to say it, but that isn't the case. There just aren't any words there. I'm not sure how to explain it better to people who don't also experience it so they will understand.



JSMC
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22 Feb 2011, 12:06 pm

I either talk too much or not at all. I use selective muting, that mean that if someone offended me or when I talk to too much stubborn people or I did something I feel shamefull to someone or if I'm just too shy (like new people or girl I like), I'll just stop talking. When I get overwhelm I can lose control, and I hate it when that happen, so stop talking is a way to control myself. But others sees it as a childish behavior, I wish they could understand...



glass
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22 Feb 2011, 12:18 pm

The only conversations I have are. "how are you"? "yep" "sure" "o.k" "no" "bye" part from that nothing unless I am with people I know then I loosen up abit.



Cornflake
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22 Feb 2011, 12:23 pm

Zen wrote:
Do you get people coming up to you every single day of your life saying something amazingly witty like, "SHHH! You're too loud!"?
:roll: God yes. It was very slightly funny the first time I heard it, but...


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donnie_darko
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22 Feb 2011, 12:24 pm

I'm a chatterbox but there's times where im hella quiet.



keira
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22 Feb 2011, 1:19 pm

JSMC wrote:
I either talk too much or not at all. I use selective muting, that mean that if someone offended me or when I talk to too much stubborn people or I did something I feel shamefull to someone or if I'm just too shy (like new people or girl I like), I'll just stop talking. When I get overwhelm I can lose control, and I hate it when that happen, so stop talking is a way to control myself. But others sees it as a childish behavior, I wish they could understand...

I also stop talking completely if I'm really really mad. I don't think that's childish tho. It's just that I always know how to hurt someone in the worst possible way and if I don't shut up I risk of ruining everything because of some silly fight. When I'm angry I just don't know what is ok to say in a fight and what would cross the line. So usually (if I can help it) I stop talking completely.
I do talk too much on the subjects that I'm obsessed with at that moment. People actually have to tell me "enough already". In other cases I can be absolutely mute. And I don't think that I'm shy. I simply don't know what to say.



teelea
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22 Feb 2011, 1:50 pm

I almost never initiate a conversation, but if somebody I know starts talking to me then I'll join in. If I'm in a group of more than one or two other people, I tend to keep quiet as I feel overwhelmed and unsure of how/when to jump into the conversation. One-on-one is best for me since I can focus on just the other person and not have to keep track of the other strains of conversation. Just this morning at work our group had our weekly meeting, and after I had contributed my planned part I remained quiet for the rest of the time.



buryuntime
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22 Feb 2011, 9:56 pm

I'm functionally mute to everyone excepting family members. I can't hold an actual conversation with family members and get frustrated with too much talking. If I'm upset or stressed out it's hard to talk to them. It's not a preference.



pensieve
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22 Feb 2011, 11:33 pm

I used to be a select mute for ten years. I'm enjoying this new impulsiveness though. I get weird looks and yelled at but at least I'm talking now. I'm like a stereotypical AS child now.
But seriously, after I started to speak more I just had so many great experiences. I've gone to concerts and hung out with bands backstage. My impulsiveness has made me somehow end up having lunch with them and getting free merch. And I meet their fans and made some friends.


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