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ewm80
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22 Feb 2011, 9:20 pm

I'm wondering about those with AS who have and/or have dated someone with strong religious beliefs.

I have AS and consider myself a born again Christian. I've been in two committed relationships both which did not do well in part due to having AS.

Have any people of faith dated others with AS who have similar beliefs? What can you say about how these two factors have improved or been a liability to your relationship?

If this has been discussed before, Mods are free to move this to the appropriate thread.



Jonsi
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22 Feb 2011, 9:32 pm

I could never date a religious person. Too stressful.



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22 Feb 2011, 9:41 pm

Firstly, I would not date a practising religious person, and I am wary of Christians. I have no interest in going to church, baptising my children, or any of that.

Secondly, it's unlikely I would date someone with spiritual beliefs that vary too much from mine; atheism for example. I would not hit it off with an athiest.

My spirituality has such a huge importance in my life anyone I hit it off with is likely to have the same ideas.



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22 Feb 2011, 9:46 pm

I could never date someone who is an Evangelical Christian/Catholic.

Most Christians/Catholics I have met refuse to understand people with
"certain conditions", AS included.


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Quartz11
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22 Feb 2011, 9:58 pm

The only way I could date a Christian is if she kept her beliefs to herself. Which well, I'd need a pretty liberal Christian for that to happen.

But most likely - no.



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22 Feb 2011, 10:40 pm

Well, there goes my chances officially... I'm a practicing christian, but i'm not one of those in-your-face-about-it ones, nor do i have a problem with other people not believing the same thing I do. I'd probably do better with an athiest than a christian anyway, since I'm a rather unusual christian given that I'm a gamer, I swear a lot and make dirty/sleazy/racist jokes a lot, I have no problems with homosexuals at all (in fact i have a bigger problem with the gay-bashers than i do the gays), and things like that. But this thread demonstrates that even though I consider myself a "normal person" in this respect (in that I generally agree with things that are scientific fact like the earth is 4~5 billion years old), athiests still have a problem with the fact that I can believe in things like Jesus as well...



abaisse
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22 Feb 2011, 10:47 pm

I'm a Christian that belongs to a church that has been nothing except supportive of my issues. My circle is not limited to Christians though. I have Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and Buddhist friends that I love. Any of these are welcomed in any facet of my life. I could not date an atheist.



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22 Feb 2011, 11:53 pm

I believe in God, but don't refer to myself as Christian simply because of the associations people often have with that word (for instance, some of the posters in this thread).

As far as people I've dated, I've been with two people who claimed Christianity, one of which no longer holds the same beliefs and the other I believe only said this for his family's sake. I've also dated two atheists. Sometimes they came off/come off as thinking they are above me in some way, which I was/am not okay with. When I think about the people I've dated I don't really think about their religion, just the person they were. It would be nice to find someone with similar beliefs, but the kind of person they are is the top priority.


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23 Feb 2011, 2:00 am

I don't try to convert people, but I do try as hard as I can to assure people that although I am a Christian, I am not sexist, racist, homophobic, or anti-semitic, and that I do not wish violence against any group of people.

That's all I do.


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wefunction
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23 Feb 2011, 7:53 am

I dated a militant atheist who I think was AS or somewhere on the Spectrum based on thinking about his behavior in retrospect. Does that count? It was a horrible experience. Even though I was agnostic then, I was still open minded and easy going about other people having different views. Being with someone who was so severe and hateful towards anyone who disagreed with him just wasn't cool for me. Even now that I'm a Christian, I'm fine with people believing different things (as long as they don't promote hate towards other people) but if they are promoting hate or thinking different beliefs are automatically wrong... I don't like that.



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23 Feb 2011, 8:11 am

Scanning this thread just reinforces my disillusionment with religion in general.

It's so divisive and negative, all people write about is who they don't like based solely on their views on the subject - I thought it was supposed to be the exact opposite...



abaisse
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23 Feb 2011, 1:24 pm

Grisha wrote:
Scanning this thread just reinforces my disillusionment with religion in general.

It's so divisive and negative, all people write about is who they don't like based solely on their views on the subject - I thought it was supposed to be the exact opposite...


The only type of person (in a religious sense) I couldn't date is an atheist. It doesn't mean they are bad people. That choice isn't a spiritual one. It's a practical one. If I'm a Christian and I'm with someone who's bashing my beliefs or thinks I'm not intelligent because I believe in a God, that relationship isn't going to work out well. I'm not saying I need to date a Christian, but I do need (for compatibility sake) to date someone that respects the fact that I believe in God.



wefunction
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23 Feb 2011, 1:28 pm

abaisse wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Scanning this thread just reinforces my disillusionment with religion in general.

It's so divisive and negative, all people write about is who they don't like based solely on their views on the subject - I thought it was supposed to be the exact opposite...


The only type of person (in a religious sense) I couldn't date is an atheist. It doesn't mean they are bad people. That choice isn't a spiritual one. It's a practical one. If I'm a Christian and I'm with someone who's bashing my beliefs or thinks I'm not intelligent because I believe in a God, that relationship isn't going to work out well. I'm not saying I need to date a Christian, but I do need (for compatibility sake) to date someone that respects the fact that I believe in God.


I have friends who are atheist who aren't awful like that. They are just genuinely atheist and not anti-theist.



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23 Feb 2011, 1:29 pm

I think one or two of my exes may have been religious, but they weren't properly obsessed with it - they never went to church every Sunday and prayed everyday or anything like that. So it was never a problem.



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23 Feb 2011, 1:34 pm

wefunction wrote:
abaisse wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Scanning this thread just reinforces my disillusionment with religion in general.

It's so divisive and negative, all people write about is who they don't like based solely on their views on the subject - I thought it was supposed to be the exact opposite...


The only type of person (in a religious sense) I couldn't date is an atheist. It doesn't mean they are bad people. That choice isn't a spiritual one. It's a practical one. If I'm a Christian and I'm with someone who's bashing my beliefs or thinks I'm not intelligent because I believe in a God, that relationship isn't going to work out well. I'm not saying I need to date a Christian, but I do need (for compatibility sake) to date someone that respects the fact that I believe in God.


I have friends who are atheist who aren't awful like that. They are just genuinely atheist and not anti-theist.


Precisely, no mass generalising of athiests here we arn't all seeking to have you people who believe in fairy's locked up for being crazy. Most of us believe in the concept of secularisation as it is pretty much the foundation on which the modern wolrd emerged from


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23 Feb 2011, 1:35 pm

I have in the past, but I will NEVER date a Christian again. People can say I'm so mean, judgmental, etc. for this, but if someone thinks I deserve to be tortured for eternity just for questioning things that can't be proven, we're not compatible. Besides, their scriptures tell them not to "yoke with unbelievers", so I'll just do myself and them a favor.