I hope I am not losing it...

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Well..there was some abuse when I was a kid. Two types, one from one person the other from two people. Then there was my mom who always tried to stick up for me. Eventually I began using drugs in 7th grade, while everyone was getting high on pot for the first time I was searching our medicine cabinet or someone elses. It became an obsession and still is to this day which is why I find it difficult to take medication because it leads me to obsess about other more addictive pills. But seems like when I get sober I start to lose it now, I am able to function and hide most of my crazy theories I come up with...however they are leading me to not trust anyone.

For instance I found some tiny red dots on my arm at where the veins are in the elbow joint. I immediately began to think they were needle marks and that my mom must be poisoning me. Then I thought maybe I am schitzophrenic and have been injecting and don't even know it. I think I need to be sober for awhile to properly diagnose myself but the only thing I know that I have been using is alcahol. (beer...6-12 bottles/cans). I am staying up right now though to see if my mom wakes up again to try and sneak in here to drug me and I am going to take a picture of my arm to see if there are any marks tomorrow. I used to sleep very lightly and need about 6 hours but now I wake up very groggy and tired as if I didn't get any sleep at all nomatter how much sleep I do get.

I am decently smart, atleast thats what everyone I know says but I am often unable to compute/respond well because I am thinking of other things or simply in a fog.

Well...I know this post will sound crazy...but I am not crazy I dont think..(probably saying that makes me sound crazy ><)

Anyways..I will post back after a few more sober days.

It doesn't sound "crazy". If your post is accurate then you definitely have an addiction problem. I hope you realize that.

Yaya, off and on and different degress of severity. However I am an adult now and it is not nearly as bad plus I have never used needles as one might conclude from OP- just that it looks like there are needle marks on my arm but they are probably not....however I am thinking of buying a security camera to see if anyone is sneaking into my room and using needles on me =/.