Breakup and Aspergers

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This is a quote from The Big Short, by Michael Lewis. Mr. Lewis is quoting Dr. Michael Burry, who has been diagnosed with AS.

I had a very similar experience, which lead me to question my sanity, which lead me to this forum. I thought I would share the quote with you. If you've had a similar experience, you're not alone.

"Let me see if I can get it right - it always sounds better when the therapist says it. Well, if you start with a person who has tremendous difficulty integrating himself into society, and often feels misunderstood, slighted, and lonely as a result, you will see where an intense interest can be something that builds up the ego in a classical sense. Asperger's kids can apply tremendous focus and ramp up knowledge of a subject in which they have an interest very quickly, often well beyond the level of any peers. That ego-reinforcement is very soothing, providing something that Asperger's kids just do not experience often, if at all. As long as the interest provides reinforcement, there is little danger of a change. But when the interest encounters a rocky patch, or the person experiences failure in the interest, the negativity can be felt very intensely, especially when it comes from other people. The interest in such a case can simply start to mimic all that the Asperger's person was trying to escape - the apparent persecution, the misunderstanding, and the exclusion of others. And the person with Asperger's would have to find another interest build and maintain the ego. "

Comments?

I've never felt my interests boost my ego, except perhaps the side effect of good spelling and grammar (reading was an active special interest for a good fifteen straight years), which did boost my ego a bit when I was a child. I have never suffered from a low sense of self-worth, however. Or an especially high one. I'm just kind of here. Though the things people do and say can lead me to feel things, I don't understand one's sense of self-worth being influenced by external factors such as being better at or worse than someone else at something. How do you change simply by comparing yourself to others? You are the same before the comparison and after. Do people suffer from a conditional sense of identity, which is dependent not only upon their own skills/thoughts/opinions/etc, but also on those of others? If this is the case, does their sense of identity vary based on who they are with and comparing themself to on any given occasion?

My interests don't boost my ego either. And I don't think they have anything at all to do with my social problems. They're more likely an attribute of various sensory or cognitive patterns common to autistic people. (Social issues are another outgrowth of those same patterns. Social issues are not the cause of all other autistic traits. Not usually anyway.)

I somewhat doubt these special interests are used for ego boost tools but instead provide pleasure. I remember when I was around twelve and I had an interest in telekinesis. I was fascinated by the topic and I had such a desire to learn. I also remember telling my classmates about it and shown them a printed packet with instructions on how to bend a spoon. I wasn't hoping to be pretentious and act like I'm superior to others, but I was trying to impress them with how cool it is to have psychic powers. They weren't interested and decide to mock it and call me ret*d. That gave me the idea that some of my interests were considered weird. When I was in school everything I would do would require someone else's approval. It didn't matter whether or not I'd be happy with it. As long as I had 10 friends around me, what does it matter? as for the ego boost? I am not going to speak for the aspies here but, ever been called the smartest person in class? Your teacher would praise you. Your classmates are all over you. You love it when the
Most liked person in your class asks for homework help. You feel honored. You noticed that you answered every question correct and you continue to show off how much you
Know not only for the sake of impression, but also taking so much pride in your own intelligence that it starts to become an egocentric problem.

My interests don't boost my ego either. They add to my personality.

It definitely makes sense to me.

I knew at school I was among the "better" regarding my knowledge, and I thought if I had studied more, I would have been even better. I had definitely ADD, but never a DX. Failure in attempted social interactions with others led me thinking I was better in some ways than them, and that definitely boosted my ego in some ways. At age 15 I got very promising results on physics and maths competitions (even higher ego), and than I slowly degraded, and at the uni I was no better then average. At my first job I encountered my first "social problems" in my adult age. After that, my self-esteem dropped permanently. Now I accept every good help from other people to cope with my problems.