Oversensitivity at work

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Hi! I'm having trouble working due to oversensitivity at work. Although it started with the project being extremely long, uninteresting, and requiring a lot of teamwork (and dealing with a whole bunch of other coworkers who don't want to do it either), I've gotten to the point where I can barely work on it anymore due to all of the psychological troubles I've associated with the project. I've asked my manager to switch me off the project, but he said there's nothing else available -- it's that or leave the company.

This has been going on for a while. I got stellar reviews my first few years (including an award), but then they gave me "real" stuff to do which I didn't like and my performance degraded to the point where I'm about average. Since then, they abruptly changed my manager, the project I'm working on, the computer language I was working in, the operating system, and my responsibilities to the point where it doesn't look at all like the stuff I signed up for. The stuff I was good at was promptly outsourced to India. No more concrete bug investigations -- now it's engineering and forced teamwork.

I told my manager that I 'm burned out and would need him to help me deal with meltdowns due to oversensitivity and lack of concreteness. He refused, claiming it's not his problem. All he said would be that he would yell at me if I was having a meltdown. The manager is commonly believed to be a jerk and I have the impression he's trying to do some kind of power play with me.

In true managerial fashion, he recommended several "solutions" which he probably will expect me to follow.

1. A "positive attitude" on life. Sounds like one of those inane slogans they trot around here.
2. A wife. I am not making this up.
3. Medication -- in other words, drugs.
4. A life outside of work. However, from my experience that will just lower my shields further when I have fun so I'll be hit harder when I get back to work.

What do you recommend? I've been there six years and am on the verge of quitting -- if I only knew what to do! Right now I'm a software engineer, and this job has seriously damaged any interest I have of remaining in the field even though programming was my favorite hobby growing up. Should I leave the field?

Thanks in advance,

ACG

There is a book, Making Work Work for the Highly Sensitive Person by Barrie S. Jaeger, McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (December 17, 2003) http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/007140 ... 27?ie=UTF8
I haven't read it, don't know if it will help.

I actually bought a Highly Sensitive Person book and relayed several of its suggestions to my manager. He said "That's not going to happen at this company". To top it all off, they're moving us all into a new building 20 miles further away with everybody even more crammed together into smaller cubicles with no privacy at all -- and the top brass are touting the "increased communication" that this will cause due to all the groups being together. They're interviewing employees who are praising this decision...

I wonder if I should disclose and if he doesn't help me hit him with an ADA lawsuit...doubt it would work though

ACG

ADA won't help you without an official diagnosis.

I'm in the process of getting an official diagnosis. I spoke to a neuropsychologist and she said she'd write a letter for me if necessary (and of course I tried emailing her and apparently she's left the company since she made that promise: it bounced...)

ACG

I was going to suggest the ADA too - it sounds like you have a case that a good disability lawyer would just be drooling over . . . I was nervous about letting people at work know about being autistic (and it has decreased how much they talk to me - not like that is a bad thing ) until a friend of mine who knows a lot of lawyers said 'If they fire you over this, then you can make so much money you won't have to work anymore - so you have nothing to lose . . .'

Good luck . . . I'm job hunting, too, and it is just such a pain . . .

Oh - and once you've made up your mind that everyone needs to know about your being autistic you could go to HR and see what happens before you get a lawyer - but if HR causes problems for your manager he might find another reason to fire you - so you need to be sure that you are ready to go ahead and leave before you go to HR - they say HR is on your side, but they aren't, of course . . .

I *may* be able to get HR on my side. I MAY.

You see, I did have a few friends outside my group ("You don't seem like an engineer -- you're friendly!"). One of them was in HR -- and she had a nephew with AS. She knows about AS.

The catch is -- she's left the company. I have no idea where she is. Then again, if she left, I can be open with her...

ACG