What's happening?

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What exactly is the proper response to the question "what's happening?"

Its even more irksome and baffling a greeting than "How are you?"
As dumb and phoney as "how are you?" is - atleast you can say "fine", or "Ok".

But "Whats happening?". How do you respond?

Coworkers you havent seen for a while- both one's im found of, and the one individual I dont get along with (but were both polite to each other) greet me with it.

Ive never figured out what exactly the answer to the question "Whats happening? is.

Any suggestions!

"What's happening?" -- "I don't have a clue"
"What's happening?" -- "Where?"
"What's happening?" -- "Everything!"
"What's happening?" -- "Why?"

There is no "proper" response so I generally throw something random back.

Every time someone asks me this, I respond with "nothing". Because that is literally the answer. I don't get it either. I also get the variation "what's going on?".

"Not much" works. I used to be very thrown by this sort of question as well. "What's up?" in particular always baffled me.

Trust me it's not as confusing as 'what's news?'

It's pretty much the same as "what's up?" which I hate... I always respond with "nothing" because I don't what else to say...