I really think I have AS!

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Well, this is me. I am new here. Having done the online tests, and done extensive, slow, careful research (which I gather is an Aspie trait in itself), I am in the early stages of trying to push for a referral to get a proper diagnosis.

I appear to have nearly all the traits, but not all. All the ones I don't have, I seem to have in reverse. For what it's worth, (anyone else who's into Myers Briggs will understand the following jargon), I am an INFJ. As I understand it, the typical AS person would tend to be INTJ. So perhaps that explains the following discrepancies:

Instead of having no imagination, I have an extremely overactive one.

Instead of being a maths and science geek, I am artistic and into art, music, and language.

Instead of hating physical contact, I am very touchy-feely.

Instead of loving sci-fi, I hate it. (Well, I don't hate it, but I am not obsessed with it. It's neither here nor there).

Instead of being unable to empathise, I overempathise, and become extremely distressed by the sadness or suffering of others.

Instead of not noticing facial gestures and body language, I notice them too much, to the point of paranoia and reading things between the lines that sometimes aren't there. Am I compensating?

The online tests and my own self-awareness and gut instinct tells me that I am in fact an Aspie, because I have all the rest:

Literal mind
Needing precise instructions
Needing to do things one step at a time
Thinking about things carefully and being told I am overanalysing
Being honest and being told I am being rude
Being truthful and being told I am non-diplomatic
Not being able to function in the workplace
Never getting the joke unless I'm warned it's coming
Laughing at jokes for far longer than others
Wanting to tell the same joke over and over again and embarrassing people
Noticing what others don't notice, and not noticing what they do notice
Never understanding why people are angry with me
Never understanding why people insist on misunderstanding a perfectly plain sentence that means what it says
Having breakdowns
Rocking
Talking to myself
Clapping my hands and jumping up and down when I'm pleased
Flapping my hands and screwing up my eyes when people overwhelm me
Having to cover my ears when stupid people give me too much information to deal with at a time and it's hurting my brain
Physical clumsiness
Not being able to get to sleep for hours on end if my brain is thinking and feverishly awake
Laughing at the genius of my own jokes
Noticing double meanings of words
Still doing childish things, like sleeping with my cuddly toy, and using non-adult words to refer to certain parts of the human anatomy
Feeling abandoned and betrayed at being forced to do adult things on my own I don't feel capable of doing, because I still feel like a child
Going through phases of suddenly becoming taken over and obsessed with a single idea, to the point of exhaustion because the idea won't let me eat or sleep or do anything else but pursue it
Being interested in, and knowledgable about, a few select topics that no one else wants to hear about
Feeling huge anxiety at any alteration to my routine (food, clothes, places I go, etc)
Feeling a huge urge to correct incorrect statements made by other people with regard to my specialist interests
Having to act all the time if I don't want people to think I'm weird or start hating me
Being impatient with small talk but sometimes smiling and doing it anyway and thinking "these people lead such boring lives, they have no idea they're even alive"
Sometimes just sitting there with a blank, challenging stare that says to people: "Oh? Really? Today I don't feel like pretending. Just you TRY and make me"
Being abrupt or impatient or rude or dismissive with people who are just pathetic attention-seeking moaning whingers, or people who just generally get on my nerves or don't listen properly to what I'm saying. I suppose you could say I'm not very diplomatic!
Having a huuuuuge attention span for things I am interested in
Becoming so absorbed I lose all sense of the passing of time
Being very sensitive to noise and touch
Not being able to judge distances (if people say: "it was two feet long" I have to ask them: "how long is a foot?" and get them to show me with their hands)
Fidgetting impatiently if I'm made to do boring pointless things I'm not interested in
Being unable to multi-task
Panicing when people insist on giving me too much new information or requests, in a huge long stream way beyond the limit I can deal with
Carrying out tasks laboriously and precisely following the instructions I was given, and then being yelled at for being the only one to "do it wrong" because no one else took it literally
I don't like being forced to look people in the eyes, unless I am remontically involved with them, because I feel non-romantic eye contact is rude. It's far too intimate
Feeling overwhelmed in groups or crowds, depending on my mood, and also depending on whether they are welcoming me or attacking me

Etc

Etc

Etc

I will add additional ones as and when I remember them. I never really knew these were "symptoms" of anything. My way of being is normal to me. I thought this was just my personality. So it's intriguing to suddenly start noticing things about myself one by one, and see them in a new light. I realise that now they suddenly all make sense. LOL

Hi. I'm self-diagnosed as well. You don't have to have all the symptoms of course. I once read if you know one aspie,... you know one aspie.

Reading too much into body language is the same as not reading body language. NTs are able to interpret it correctly and do not become overly paranoid about it (as do you and I). I didn't know obsession with sci-fi is a "symptom" of AS. Sounds more like a stereotype to me.

Oh dear. Thanks for your reply, kladky. Maybe my research was too extensive. I can't remember where exactly I read about the sci-fi. All I know is that I read all the official webpages I could that listed the symptoms, and then I also googled for individual Aspies who described their own personal traits. Several of them said sci-fi, and that must have given me the idea that it was an Aspie trait.

Maybe you're right. It's just a stereotype of what a "geek" should be. But I am certainly not a geek. No one I know would ever call me that.

Still mulling this over. I am definitely INFJ, not INTJ. I have known that all my life.

I don't do computer programming or science or maths. I do creative things. I'm a musician, and a linguist. And I'm caring and kind and tactful. Despite being literal and honest and blunt, I DO also have an awareness of how I could word things better to not hurt people's feelings. And I'm very maternal.

INTJs are not tactful. They just blurt out what's in their head. I don't (always).

I have read a theory online that INTJs are aspies, and INFJs are high functioning autistics but not actually Asperger's. Does anyone know if that's true, and what is the difference between the two conditions? Until I read that, I thought they were one and the same.

The pages I find only have limited info. See here:

http://www.disability-resource.com/Auti ... utism.html

Can't find anywhere with enough info to be of proper use to me.

It sounds like you certainly have some Aspie traits, so it is probably worth looking into. Just be very sure that you absolutely want a diagnosis. There can be some negatives which come along with a diagnosis and there isn't really much help for adults with ASD. There are also positives that come with it, too, though... and you can now know there's a reason for your behavior.

Whatever you decide, good luck. I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

Argh!! !

I just wrote a really long response to you and my computer ate the whole thing and won't give it back.

Anyway, I was just responding to the parts where you thought you differed from how most autistic people are.

And actually most of those areas where you think you differ, are actually pretty common ways for autistic people to be. It's just that most of them are stereotypes.

I might try to respond later, but I wanted to reassure you that none of those even remotely mean you can't be autistic. I just had surgery so my brain hasn't recovered from the anesthesia and stuff well enough to necessarily be able to write what I just wrote, again. But I may try.