A question for those in relationships.

Page 1 of 2 [ 22 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

ashmeister
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jun 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 239
Location: Singapore

15 Mar 2011, 10:52 pm

This is a question for those with girlfriends/boyfriends. I'm currently single but I'm just curious here. Do you guys have boyfriends/girlfriends who you love but aren't usually the type of person you would date ever? Like for example, there's a guy who doesn't party at nightclubs, doesn't have tattoos or piercings, doesn't drink or smoke or do drugs. He doesn't do girls who go to nightclubs, has tattoos and/or piercings, drinks, smokes, does drugs. But yet, he falls in love with such a girl and they start dating and are now in love with each other.

Sorry if the question sounds confusing but are you in such a relationship? A relationship with someone who's probably the last person who you'll ever date but, yet, you wind up with such a person.


_________________
Hello, friends.


wefunction
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,486

15 Mar 2011, 11:02 pm

Not for me. I like tall, intelligent blue-eyed cowboy firefighters who vote democrat. But my husband was always attracted to the Italian New Yorker type of women... like Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny... or the blond Farrah Fawcett bimbo stereotype. So I'm different than what he normally goes for.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

15 Mar 2011, 11:10 pm

No, but i have been attracted to people with nothing on my "list". It's the reason why lists are stupid, they don't apply at all when you fall for someone.

For example I usually like tall guys, but i've fallen twice for guys only a bit taller than me, with different colour hair than the list, differnt body types etc.



ToadOfSteel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,157
Location: New Jersey

15 Mar 2011, 11:16 pm

^
That's why my only criterion that i won't bend on is that she likes me back. Kinda hard to establish a relationship with a woman that doesn't like you or want you...



nunctecognovi
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 43

16 Mar 2011, 3:47 am

I don't like to go to night club and I do nothing to look pretty. Yet I have been in a relationship for 6 years. He is totally different from me. I can't understand what makes us get along. It's like we have always known each other.
To fall in love for an ideal person is useless, is a waste of time as ideal persons exist only in our thoughts.



Stellar
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,249
Location: California

16 Mar 2011, 5:56 am

Yeah. I'm pretty calm and practical most of the time, and my boyfriend is slightly more lively, social, and impulsive (but not overly), so we're pretty different. He smokes/drinks and does drugs occasionally but I don't mind; I just never imagined myself with someone who was into that. His favorite things to do are drive/race cars and work on them, and I like calmer activities but we find a nice balance for both of us. The good thing is that we both give a crap about our future so we're working hard towards it, and we also have a lot of things in common and enjoy a lot of the same activities.

He's a total family guy and I love my family as well, and we share similar thoughts/feelings on important things in life. He treats me amazingly and likes me being around his family and friends so we're usually together.

So yeah I never imagined myself with someone who's very social, but I'm really loving how it's going for us. It's a weird thing to explain but it's really nice though. :)



emlion
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,641

16 Mar 2011, 7:54 am

Yeah. All my exes were the 'bad boy' types.
But my current isn't - he's caring and sweet but confident.
He's better than all of them put together.

I never imagined i'd end up with a 'nice guy' :heart:



V10L3T
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 9 Mar 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 43
Location: FL

18 Mar 2011, 5:35 am

Nope! My boyfriend is everything I always hoped for in a partner :)



DeathGoth
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 26 May 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 57

18 Mar 2011, 10:07 am

I dated a person I would put as my dream girl looks wise.. That was the worst relationship in my life..

I am now married to some girl who is nothing of what I would look for in someone, But she is so epically awesome in every way that it kinda don't matter what she looks like..

Looks aren't important though, if you click wit that person then that's all it should be.. but really dont try and go after looks that will be a big letdown because most of the time it wont work out the way it supposed to if you base your wants on looks alone.



ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,264

18 Mar 2011, 12:00 pm

I ended up with a partner nothing like myself. What happened was, I'd just come out of a relationship that was never going to work because she'd wanted to wear revealing clothes in public and I just can't cope with a partner like that. It was very messy because I hadn't told her how I felt early enough, so she kind of felt it was a case of entrapment, ans she would be compliant one day and noncompliant the next, which bounced my feelings around all over the place.

So I thought about it, and realised I needed to explain myself quicker next time, to avoid getting stuck with a lady of the wrong type for me. I managed to do that, but somehow forgot to think about any other aspect of compatibility at all, so I ended up with somebody who was completely different to me in every other respect. Stupid hyperfocus. :x



Asp-Z
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Dec 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,018

19 Mar 2011, 3:17 am

ashmeister wrote:
This is a question for those with girlfriends/boyfriends. I'm currently single but I'm just curious here. Do you guys have boyfriends/girlfriends who you love but aren't usually the type of person you would date ever? Like for example, there's a guy who doesn't party at nightclubs, doesn't have tattoos or piercings, doesn't drink or smoke or do drugs. He doesn't do girls who go to nightclubs, has tattoos and/or piercings, drinks, smokes, does drugs. But yet, he falls in love with such a girl and they start dating and are now in love with each other.

Sorry if the question sounds confusing but are you in such a relationship? A relationship with someone who's probably the last person who you'll ever date but, yet, you wind up with such a person.


Those relationships tend to work better than relationships with people who do the same stuff than you. Opposites attract, remember.



ToadOfSteel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,157
Location: New Jersey

19 Mar 2011, 8:33 am

Asp-Z wrote:
ashmeister wrote:
This is a question for those with girlfriends/boyfriends. I'm currently single but I'm just curious here. Do you guys have boyfriends/girlfriends who you love but aren't usually the type of person you would date ever? Like for example, there's a guy who doesn't party at nightclubs, doesn't have tattoos or piercings, doesn't drink or smoke or do drugs. He doesn't do girls who go to nightclubs, has tattoos and/or piercings, drinks, smokes, does drugs. But yet, he falls in love with such a girl and they start dating and are now in love with each other.

Sorry if the question sounds confusing but are you in such a relationship? A relationship with someone who's probably the last person who you'll ever date but, yet, you wind up with such a person.


Those relationships tend to work better than relationships with people who do the same stuff than you. Opposites attract, remember.


What the hell do you talk about then, if you have no commonalities?



dossa
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Aug 2009
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,590
Location: The right side of my couch...

19 Mar 2011, 10:32 am

The only type I ever go for are clever people. My husband is very clever, so I stuck to my type again.


_________________
"...don't ask me why it's just the nature of my groove..."


MidlifeAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2010
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,016

19 Mar 2011, 10:51 am

The "list" of traits that people put together and define as their "type" is just a silly game that takes place while lonely and single. If your goal is a one night stand or a trophy to take to the corporate picnic this is doable, but relationships are based on something entirely different and you can't expect to find the required internal components wrapped in the packaging you decided was ideal. These "lists" are generally amalgamations of celebrities and fictional characters and don't include the most important factors for relationships such as chemistry, shared beliefs and backgrounds, communications styles and life goals.


_________________
Be careful when you fight the monsters, lest you become one.


Nathalie
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 15 Mar 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 87

19 Mar 2011, 11:57 am

My imaginairy boyfriend is exactly what I expected, he's perfect! No way I'm ever leaving him ;)



happymusic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Feb 2010
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,165
Location: still in ninja land

19 Mar 2011, 4:22 pm

Once I knew this guy I couldn't stand to be around. Every time we saw each other we openly gave each other a hard time. Then one night, we sort of accidentally were together for the evening. By the end of the evening we were really into each other and he asked me to marry him.