Something which happened today?

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About 20 minutes ago i got out of the shower. my brother then came into the bathroom and started being annoying as usual. he showered for about 3 mintues and i was sitting in the room next to the bathroom drying off. at first my brother was okay with me but then again he started criticising me for the way i was drying myself off and he said to me "Your so strange and you have so many weird manners it annoys me" i then stupidy went down to sit next to talk to him about this but he then punched me on the times. we started swearing at each other and said to him how much i wanted him to leave me alone and get out of my life. i then shouted and my brother said "Stop screaming your acting ecentricly." pathetic even me getting angry is considered ecentric by normal peopole. he said to me "Its takes you an hour to dry off your so weird" even though it actually only takes me 10 minutes at most but you get what i mean cause it takes me an hour to wash my hair and dry off.................

again i try and say to my parents "get him a job" and "Move him out" but my parents don't want to do it and they say to me "he's unemployed" and "hes only 18 and he is too young". I am having no luck finding a job so both me and my brother are stuck in the house with each other EVERY DAY. my parents have brought me my own flat but i don't feel i am independant enough to move out because of my aspergers.

Its so annoyng my brother is 18 and still we are having these conflicts and i thought by now my brother would have moved on with his life but he is chosing to stay put just to bully me around annoy me. it sucks so much you would not belive it.

its not just my brother i am really angry with its my parents as well becuase there being completely ignorant about all this. my brother is taller and stronger than me so its impossible for me to handle him and he has violent tendancies as well. my mother said to me "Having a brother is a good thing becuause it toughens you up for the outside world"

What do you make of the situation which happened today?

Your brother is a dick. No confusion there.


You should find a therapist and work on this stuff.

Yes agree he is a dick but i am so angry with my parents attitude to his behaviour. i don't know why parents think siblings are such a good thing for thier first or second born child. i even asked my mother why she even bothered having my brother and she said "i wanted to you to have a brother so you would not be lonely".

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. I'm a mother of two boys. My older son, who is 10 years old, has Aspergers. My 8 year old has been struggling with anger and frustration with his brother for a year or so. He doesn't understand that Aspergers makes your brain different and that his brother can't control his behavior all the time. The 8 year old feels that all his brother's behaviors are designed to annoy him and takes everything as a personal attack. We can discuss it all very rationally in a quiet moment and he gets it, but in the heat of an argument, everything he learned goes out the window.

We've taken my 8 year old to a private therapist, which has never been necessary for my son with Aspergers. It seems to be helping and the situation is calming down. He also has an autism sibling group that he attends monthly. I can't help but think that if your brother never worked through his feelings about living with a brother with Aspergers as a child, he can't be well equipped to handle it as an adult. I'm sure your parents didn't have the same resources that I have 10 years ago when you were growing up.


Would your brother be willing to talk to a professional with you about the situation?

Well if he did talk to a professional about it with me he would quickly pin all the blame onto me becuase to be frank my behaviour to my parents and brother has not been good either.

i know what you mean as well us people with AS come across as rude and horrible when we don't intend too.

I work with Special Needs children and with my own NT children as well as them...violence is not accepted....end of story. Your parents need to intervene more here. Even if you both are adults swearing,yelling,violence...stops or there's the door. Your brothers intolerance obviously has been ignored instead of redirected, which your parents should have done. And you don't need to discuss your hygiene habits with him. He don't like it....so what. Just tell him not to worry about it, and do your thing. You seem to need his approval. When I stopped needing my sisters approval things got better between us. Ready or not, you need to get outta there, because he's a bit young to be on his own, but you have the opportunity to go where it's safe, and that may be better for you.

What? That was not the therapists idea but that is my theory that my brother would act cocky if he talked to a therapist and would go on and on about my behaviour because he is a much more skilled and adapt communicator than me. I would probably not even get a word in too my defense.

I need to mention as well that my parents suspect my brother have ADHD so maybe that is why his behaviour not always good to me? People with ADHD are usually on the go. i remember a boy with ADHD beat up his younger brother becuase he was intolerant of his younger NT brothers behaviour.

My brother aslo made the point across to me that i am reclusive and unemployed

By the way i warned my mother last september that having to live at home with my brother everyday was a bad idea and that we would fight a lot. My mother being all ignorant and blanking out the facts on purpouse just virtually shrugged her shoulders and was just like "Ah well just get used to it" she did not say those words but i could tell she was thinking it. my mother even had a slight grin on her face if my memory serves me right because she likes the idea that my brother keeps me in line and bosses me around. My younger brothers attitude with me is "You got to be cruel to be kind" since he said those exact words.


On a VERY serious note not only does my brother threaten me sometimes but he also touches me up inappropriatley. like i came out of the shower once and he said to me "can i touch your willy" and i reluctantly said "okay" becuase if i said no he would not leave me alone. he also sexual;y harrases in other ways once in a while. Very disturbing but true