Do looks even matter for Aspies?

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I do not think I'm ugly or bad looking at all. From what I can tell, most women think that I'm decent looking. My problem is something else entirely: my inability to understand social norms and how to talk to a girl in a way to express that I' interested without coming across as creepy.

Looks matter for first impressions.

Both are significant. Lack of normal social reciprocity is probably a bigger deal breaker than not being very attractive.

That's the biggest trouble most Aspies have: social awkwardness.

BTW, if a girl won't go out with you because of looks, she's not worth it anyway. Far too shallow. She'd have only gone after the next guy she fancied after a week or two anyway.

I have gotten a decent amount of attention fro girl online who are just looking at my photo, and rarely anything from women I run into in person

Some people say I look as they say.. hawt...

Some people take looks to an extreme, But you are asking if it is on the aspie to think looks are important. I dont think so..

I had a chance to be with someone who I thought looked good, but it didn't work out because she could handle on how different I was from everyone else. There are a few cases like this in my past however but the most recent is what I am thinking of.. She said I looked good but she cant stand how I can not do things normies do.. Like go to a bar, or go out to eat or some stupid crap other people like to do. I like to hang in a park or walk along a river or something..

I do not think looks are very important(Yes a physical attraction of something on someone is good.. exp: eyes, ass, tits, whatever.) when you get down to it, I think what does matter is how the subject treats you and how you treat them. I have learned something in the last few yrs though. I learned that Aspies are insane crazy on showing how much they love someone.(me at least.) I cant get enough of touching the person, looking at them(Sometimes I to this to much and it bothers be but still do it.) and just want to be around the person.. But the negative effect is bad when I have to much exposure to this and i get cranky i guess you can call it..

Anyway all in all looks aren't that important, because what my version of attractive anymore is way different than what I thought yrs ago.. Thanks to my Wife today.. She taught me alot of what is attractive in someone just by being her.

I forgot to mention also that I make them take Rdos's Aspie test for a qualification on dating them or having anything to do with them... If they get a high NT score I usually do not bother.. If they get a middle score then chances are they can see some things about me and not worry so much about it.

It's like you said; looks can help a lot with initial attraction, but they're useless at any stages beyond that. Plus looks can often be counter-productive, because if you happen to naturally look like a certain stereotype that your personality may not match (I think this may happen often for aspies as we tend to have very unconventional personalities) then you may end up attracting the wrong people and actually turning off the right ones!

Yeah, true. I personally think some women find my extreme good looks so extreme that they think it would be pointless to approach me.

I think looks madder but very little I care more about things we may have in common looks arent so important though to me I hate shallow people and I normally will not talk to girls if they are shallow if all they care about it looks then thats a turn off in my opinon I prefer tomboyish girls and really smart girls

The social skills are the most important.

But don't be naive and fool yourself, looks are important too, especially the body. Many women wouldn't give me the time of day just because I am too short for them.

I have this weird issue as well, girls 'chase' me online but nothing of this happens in real life , maybe it's my social awkwardness ,maybe it's height ,those are two things that can't be well-perceived in photos , or *maybe* the attention they give online is just plain random and stupid and those same girls wouldn't give it to you if they see you in real life.

I always wondered why girls online give me more attention but lately I am taking their attention with a grain of salt because this online attention is most probably just teasing and time-killing. As long there's no way to confront this attention in reality then it's pretty meaningless.

Looks do have some importance in my opinon beauty is in the eye of the beholder I just like girls I guess you would say girl crazy im a good at reading social cues because one of my main interests are sexual behavior and body language once you get used to finding a way to read certin cues things will get easy

looks matter, to an extent. For some, looks matter a lot, for most, I think it's not such a big deal (in this instance I mean things like facial symmetry, beautiful eyes, a snappy hairstyle) Appearing to be comfortable in your own skin is the most universally attractive 'look', if you ask me.

Unfortunately, I think that 'looks' are often lumped into the same category as 'confidence', 'style of clothing', etc.

I don't get why people are always saying looks shouldn't matter or anyone who thinks otherwise is too shallow

Personally, I wouldn't WANT a gf who wasn't physically attracted to me, any more than I'd want a gf I wasn't physically attracted to myself

Both looks and personally are important to me. If I only like a girl's personality then I'd just wanna be friends

If I am attracted to a person, then how they look by general "conventional" standards will not matter to me at ALL...I will think they are totally sexy and wonderful no matter what their shape...UNFORtunately, I am painfully aware that for the vast majority of guys the same standards do not apply, and the fact that I am an aging 12 year old who is NOT an ectomorph will tend to not win me any brownie points necc...with the people I have been involved with...and I have a morbid fear of appearing repulsive to my partners because of this...My last partner was a "girlcrazy" aspie who um was quite warped by having extremely attractive girlfriends before me (albiet, the list was very short)...He was VERY fixated on the female physical form, and it made me feel so badly that I magically somehow managed to lose a lot of weight just because I was so insecure about my appearance and my inability to live up to his physical ideal.

I am involved with yet another Aspie, who I think is beautiful..because that is how I feel about a person I am attracted to...I am attracted to their "warts and all"..and really very physically attractive by "Magazne"standards...people kinda frighten me...because I have always been flawed....He is beautiful by my standards and is overweight (cuddly) and balding with a very "creative and adorable" face...big nose...beautiful multi-colored "aspie eyes"..yay....

But alas, what few girlfriends he has had before me were all painfully more beautiful than me and alas, due to that experience, I have feared that I do not quite measure up to his physical standards and that in comparison to them, might seem rather repulsive..since he won't express to me any positive opinion about my physical appearance, it has been difficult for me not to assume that the reason for this is that I do not live up to his standards....i.e. if you have to have to FORCE someone to tell you that you are pretty and they seem somehow disturbed by your nakedness, then logically you must not live up to their "standards"
Learned truth at 17 that love was meant for beauty queens"...and I am not one..(nyehh)

Have I a "complex"about this? Maybe..