I feel like as a girl I should understand this but I don't

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Can someone tell me why when you like a lot of the same things and do a lot of the same things as your girl friends they get mad and claim you are copying them. When you like different things, talk about it, and act on different stuff they are all like awkward to you and say how weird you are.

Can anyone please explain this to me cause I'd love to get an idea.

I say this a lot, imagine the best possible relationship you could have with a ''girlfriend'' would they act towards you this way ?. NO probably not, my conclusion is that people who treat each other like this arent really friends but just making due with the people they have. Its sad but reality most people arent actually friends they talk,talk talk but never actually get to know and appreciate each other.

All you can do is hold the carrot infront of them and show them how to treat each other with respect. You can only treat them the way you would like to be treated and hope they can figure it out on their own.

Their age might have somethign to do with it aswell.

They've been like this all the years I've known them threw out my life.
I haven't seen them in over two or three years but it sounds like they
are the same from facebook. I might be going back to my old school
so I have to prepare my self socially again. I haven't been active with
people the same age as me daily in over a year.

Thank you for your advice though it is very wise indeed.

I wish I could help. I haven't got a clue why people would act this way towards a friend.

TB is correct, it's not the way real friends would act towards each other.

I hope all goes well for you Artamist.

My cousin (also best friend) used to say that to me a lot when I was your age. But to be honest I was copying her a lot at that time without even knowing it. I am not saying that you do copy your friends or that your interests aren't genuine but maybe on some unconscious level you express your interests the same way they do. That is one way that people with AS learn to socialize. Expressing ourselves and socializing doesn't come naturally to us so we learn it by observing and sometimes we mimic others.
I can also relate to being different and called weird because of my other interests. That was mainly because some of my interests were extremely different from the ones of my friends. I mean that besides the things we shared and we all loved there also were a lot of things I liked alone. For example, we all liked some pop music but I also liked hard rock and classical, we all liked some novels but I was more interested in reading H. Hesse or A. Camus. Some of my interests were just way out of the range of theirs and that's what made me "weird".
My only advise could be to just find out who you really are and try not to pay much attention what others think or say. If they love you, they'll love you the way you are

heh. a reason why i dislike young girls.

They get upset not because you are copying them but because they realize that what they like isn't exclusive to themselves. First reaction is not to admit its their issue but to blame it on you... hence the 'toss the blame outwards' excuse: 'you're copying me'

my .2 cents worth of advice:

Why worry about it?

You're 17. That behavior is limited to high school where girls (and boys too) split into their own little cliche groups and socially compete for popularity. When school is over and you (and they) enter college or the workforce that stuff doesn't fly; in fact they'd look extremely stupid behaving that way.

Well probably the reason they think this is because they don`t want to feel like they have a clone or you are trying to be like them only to be their friend. Its important to express your indivivdality the best way you can even though people with austim may feel this way to hard!! !! I know I do so its great to have things in common but you got ta be able to show how special you are. Try this when you meet a new person that seems to have the same things in common with you do like I do to make friends do this: approuch them calmly and introduce yourself and ask for their names. You got to remember that even though people may have the same things in common with you they may not accept you at first cause teen age people who dont have austim may not even though what it is. So dont get discouraged and once you have introduced yourself ask what some of the things each girl likes this shows that you are interested in them. If they answer you then tell them what some of things you enjoy. One more thing try to mingle with people who seem to be decent. Help this helps!! !! !! !!

Wow I didn't think guys got like that I just thought they fought a little and shrugged it off an really did make it feel like it never happened.

This is why I don't have a lot of female friends........I tend to get along ok with females older then me and some my own age, but only open minded types that just accept me as I am. So I don't think its an issue with you, a lot of girls are just immature about that kind of stuff so they get upset over it. So I would say just be yourself and anyone who appreaciates you as you are is worth being your friend but anyone else probably isn't.

It sounds like you are focusing too much on the content of the conversation and ignoring the tone and other nuances. My first guess is that when you talk about something you are interested perhaps you talk about it too much or too forcefully, or in too much depth or detail in a way that turns your peers off, so they react negatively. If you want to get along, pay attention to how they are reacting to your words while you are talking.

Aspies etc. tend to be pretty "tone deaf" but that's probably what is going on. It seems common on these forums for people to complain about "why is it when I do or say x, other people say or do y", almost completely overlooking the *way* you said or did x. I notice especially with females people often completely misinterpret something I say just because I did not say in the right tone of voice, etc., or they might read too much into it.

Anyway, when you talk to someone, in general the way they treat you is complementary to how you treat them or how they see you. If you lack confidence then people will call you awkard and weird, if you criticize and correct other people they will criticize you back. Maybe you don't like your friends and it shows in the tone of voice you use when talking to them. I don't know how you act, but it's common for people to really set themselves up to fail without realizing it.

Another thing is you have to be considerate for other people, in a conversation you have to give them a way to react. Like if are talking about a subject no one else knows anything about, they won't know how to react to what you are saying, so then they might feel bad and lash out at you.

I do not know though if how they treat you is how they treat everyone else. Many groups of friends just like getting mad and sniping at each other. It's what they do, like cats like wrestling, almost like a game and there is no need to take it personally.

While I like to discuss common interests with friends I value my time to myself even more. If a friend's interests in my interests starts to infringe on my time I have to kindly but firmly tell them when I want to be alone. It can be hard, especially as some of my friends do not enjoy being alone and actually seem to fear it. Your real friends will understand this and will appreciate your honesty; those who just can't handle their own company will reveal their true nature soon enough. As long as you are not malicious about it never feel bad about doing what you need to be happy.

They get just as bad when they're older too, I hate to say. I have mostly guy friends because women and girls are too much work... jealous, competitive and petty.

The minute a guy comes along they will throw aside friends, pets etc... if he wants them too. Sad!
Not all women of course but at least 50% , at least.

It's why we aren't president yet or don't have exclusive clubs like men do. They treat each other better.
Also, If you're a cute girl other women, who are not cute, will be even worse.

You have to be very picky about the women you let in your life. You have to make sure you chose them. Look for how they treat other girls/people. Do they talk behind her or their backs? Then they will do it to you. So stay away.

You must take charge in who you let in your life, not just grab onto anyone who will let you in theirs. It seems hard but it's possible. The older you get the more you figure it out. Start your own club only allow in nice smart sensitive girls like you