DiagNOsis (second opinion refused)

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This is a follow up to my post about a negative diagnosis for AS. I went to the doctor yesterday and without even pausing for breath he said no to a second opinion. I am gutted. I'd taken my mum in with me as back-up and to see what she thought and she told him she was worried that I would commit suicide without the proper help. He didn't ask how this conversation came about -I was desperate at the weekend when the surgery was closed and told my mum I was going to A&E because I couldn't cope and just wanted to die but she talked me down- instead he told her I was manipulating and threatening. He also just wanted to go on about my diazepam intake, told me he wouldn't provide extra tablets for the very bad times anymore and he suggested I find another GP. This then turned into quite a heated debate and he gave me two extra 2mg tablets per day and told me to come back in 8wks.

It had been suggested by the hospital I went to that he changes my other tablets but he refused to even discuss it. He said I'd already had a second opinion when in fact I'd only had a referral which resulted in the diagnosis. I felt like I was going completely mad. Before I came out of there I told him that I hope he feels like this one day and knows what the terrible fear I go through on a daily basis feels like.

He made me feel like a no-good drug addict who had brought everything upon herself and was worth nothing. I spent last night feeling almost shell-shocked and today lying on the sofa crying trying to think of some point to all of this and something good about myself but he just made my feel dirty. Obviously I can't go back to him again and I'll have to change to another GP (which is a relief actually) it's just that what if the next one is worse? I am so unhappy and feel so worthless that I just feel weak and ill. I know I have to pick myself up and carry on but at the moment I don't have the strength, this whole process alone regarding the diagnosis from beginning to yesterday has taken 17 months and I'm exhausted with it all.

One more thing he said to me when I told him that I used to have a higher dosage of diazepam when I was younger and now I have to manage on less than a third of that even though nothing has changed and I feel no different, he actually said, that's ancient history move on. Could you imagine a doctor saying that to someone who had lost a leg when they were 20 and still couldn't walk without help because they hadn't managed to grow one back by their fifties?

The whole situation is disgusting and unbelievable. I don't feel I've explained all this very well but OMG I think you had to be there.

Tiffinity.

It sounds like the best piece of advice he gave you was "find another GP." He sounds completely unsympathetic and fairly unprofessional.

It can be absolutely gutting when medical professionals are too incompetent to help you,
or flat out refuse to take you seriously.



I'd take his advice and see someone who's at least willing to address your concerns.

Sorry if I missed this information, but have you considered seeing a psychiatrist?
AS or no, you're obviously under a lot of (understandable) stress right now-
I think being on the verge of suicide qualifies as being quite stressed.
It might help to have a professional to talk to about your exhaustion/anxiety/depression whatever's going on.

In addition, psychiatrists in my experience don't fart around with low doses of light medications-
if you tell them you're suffering from extraordinary distress, they're liable to give you something that might actually HELP,
if only to keep you around long enough so that you become more stabilized and focus more on therapy.


Hang tough. <3

I agree with everyone else who said that his saying "find another GP" was his one bit of good advice. He's a waste of time and a waste of good/earnest efforts to communicate.

Just be happy that he gave you a good reason to find another GP, and move on. Maybe you can find someone with a little respect for their patients.

You really should see a psychiatrist, though, even if you can't find one who can give you a diagnosis for AS. You sound pretty depressed, and it may be wiser to deal with the depression first.

how can he tell you not to get a second opinion? isn't that your decision? it's not like he's the almighty emperor of all medical things ever... just a crappy doctor who doesn't need to be practicing (maybe he's friends with my old dentist from when i was 5? that dentist didn't numb me properly and then drilled my teeth and when my mom was like "maybe something's wrong, my normally calm and well-behaved child is screaming and thrashing about?" he called me a brat...)

Wow...Doctors can be so crap, and at a time of distress when you seemed to need him/her most they turn around on you. I would defiantly go for a different GP, hopefully you have one local or don't need to travel too much for this.

I Hope you get better, there are good times ahead!

I know it may not be on your agenda to take more stress on, but a formal complaint to the GP surgery about this would/should bring something to light even if it just bugs the GP. A patient coming in even mentioning suicide should have alarm bells ringing for them, not "have 2mg extra of this and I'll see you in 8wks", they couldn't get any more irresponsible!

Best of luck on this, I hope you "eventually" get the diagnosis you deserve.

Rich

Agreed, you're definitely having issues with depression or something similar--at any rate something that needs to be seen to, acute rather than life-long like AS is. Get yourself a psychologist and address this immediate crisis. Once you're back to a more stable situation, talk about the possible AS... Think about it like this--If you come in to the emergency room with a broken arm, you need to have the arm seen to before you address long-term health issues that aren't putting you in immediate danger... Of course, knowing for sure whether you have AS can be quite a reassurance, so it could be part of what can help with stability long-term. Find a doctor who is willing to listen to you and take you seriously, and make your safety your first priority. Try to stay out of the hospital if you can; though it is a reasonable last resort when you are suicidal, it does not particularly help you learn how to manage your own problems.

If anybody makes accusations of "manipulation" in any way that suggests your actions should be ignored, dump them. Even when people do manipulate others, it means something; they do it for a reason, and the proper response is to figure out what purpose it serves for them--not to ignore them and belittle them for doing it. So even in the absolute worst case, if you actually were being manipulative, they still did not respond to it properly. I actually see no evidence that you were; and that is not surprising because "manipulative" is a common complaint made by incompetent psychologists against "difficult" patients. Often times, it means little more than that you annoyed them in some way, probably by not being properly submissive. A doctor who accuses patients of manipulativeness in this fashion is not a competent doctor.

Sack him, he's a jerk. And report him if you've stil got the energy. These people wouldn't do that kind of crap if more people hit back against them.

Oh wow Tiffinity, that's just terrible. What a way for anyone to carry on, let alone someone who is supposed to be caring for you.
He is flat out WRONG to deny a second opinion in that way, and accusing someone of being manipulative and threatening and completely ignoring what your Mum said about suicide? He must be reported. This idiot is dangerous.
His attitude to your use of Valium stinks - and doubly so since you've been on it for some time. This is not how dosage reduction is handled!

It's ironic that he did end up giving you sound advice: find another GP - but I can imagine the offhand and dismissive way that must have been said.

Please, keep us posted.
And stay strong.

I love you lot! Your replies and caring comments have made me a bit weepy but in a good way as though someone else cares. Thank you sooo much. xxx

I've had another horrible day today but last night I found some information about a surgery that is one block away from where I live and I've downloaded the pre-registration form to fill in and hopefully tomorrow I'll feel up to going in there and getting on their books. The good thing is patients can choose which doctor they want to see there and there's one who specialises in mental health issues, so I hope I can manage to see him.

I totally agree that I need to get the depression sorted, it's definitely out of hand, it's happened before but this time it's bad. I'm hanging on (fingernails mainly) but you've all given really good advice that I'd be a fool to ignore.

Thanks again, keep you posted.

Tiffinity.